Incorrectly used sayings and phrases (malapropisims and related)

'An acquaintance died of a Thursday last month.'

'Oh, I'm sorry. Do you mind my asking what he died of?'

'I'm not shure but I believe 'twas somethin' fairly serious.'

That's another joke.

'An acquaintance died of a Thursday last month.'

'Oh, I'm sorry. Do you mind my asking what he died of?'

'I'm not shure.'

'That's a terror. There's people dyin' now that never died before'

That's yet another joke.
 

You just have to admire the old country folk.
 
On a dating website recently a female had stated on her profile .....
"Don't contact me if ur only intrested in sex as I prefer to get to know someones fist"