In a (non financial) rut!

OK - this is probably a bit vague and broad but does anybody have any simple, useful, effective and practical tips/resources for somebody like me who is finding it extremely (almost, literally, depressingly!) difficult to be motivated and organised enough to get work done, make it interesting, manageable and - to whatever extent possible - enjoyable? I've read plenty about SMART tasks, time management, getting the work life balance right, getting the urgent tasks done first, rewarding oneself for tasks completed etc. but, while it all looks good on paper, I've never been able to put stuff like this into practice and seem to be getting stuck in a deeper and deeper rut with no obvious way out. Since this is a financial site I should point out that I am thankfully relatively comfortably off and not under any real financial pressure nor would I be if I was to found myself unemployed. All advice appreciated. Thanks.

Hail Legionnaire

Without getting all mystical, I would suggest that the answer lies within. It sounds to me like you have outgrown your job and nothing else is given you that va-va-voom. What you need is a new challenge that you can relish or believe in. Personally I've taken up Tai Chi recently and found it a brilliant stress buster. It has also kick started my brain after the shock of the arrival of two bundles of joy into the home. Perhaps something similar would allow you get a perspective on what you want and let you go and get it. The economists cover story is about mediation and how it works successfully. I haven't read it but maybe again it might start you off.

There is a book that is often mentioned here when similar questions come up. It's called "What colour is your parachute?"

Good Luck

Nogser

If I were you, I would plan to take a week off. I would spend this week on my own, having a big think. (Personally, I find a comfy hotel somewhere scenic makes this a lot easier! No mobile phone. Don't bring any work. Cut it down to a four day weekend if you can't stretch to a week.)

I think your concerns are very common ones, especially among busy people who are often too busy to stop and think about the underlying causes and too tired to think up any creative ideas to deal with them.

All the management tools in the world are no use if the basic problem is that you hate your job/partner/location/life. A bit like rearranging the proverbial deck chairs on the Titanic.

When were you last happy with your lot? What has changed since then? How much control do you have over your current situation? How many of the negative factors are reversible?

You are financially comfortable, you say. Maybe it's time to take a few risks.

hope this helps,
tedd

ps Are you having any warning signs that you may have a medical condition causing your listlessness? If you or your family think this is possible, have a chat with your GP.

Considered a sabbatical? Look into other careers or other companys.

Hail SPQR - This sounds to me like a motivation issue. I'm wondering if you are doing the right job in the right kind of organisation. Have you considered changing job or organisation? If you financially independent, have you considered working for a charity or community group, something with a cause about which you really really care?

Thanks for the feedback. I appreciate it. Admittedly my original post is a bit brief and doesn't go into all the detail that might be relevant but I'm not comfortable in divulging everything and don't want to risk boring you all with it either. I appreciate the points about the problem maybe being more than just the work/job situation and something more fundamental to be resolved - possibly by doing something positive/affirmative outside of the work sphere. I have thought a lot about this but have come to no firm conclusions. I just mentioned the financial aspects to show that financial pressure to continue in what may be an unsatisfactory situation is not a driving force. Without meaning to sound blasé, sometime I think that if the financial pressure was there then that would make things easier to knuckle down and get on with things! On the othe hand, I didn't mean to make it sound like I actually want to give up the job and live off my means. Unfortunately I'm not the type of person to take major risks as suggested above - which I guess could mean anything from starting a business to heading off into the sunset? There is an element of the personal in all of this due to my past history in terms of general "well being" (sorry to be vague but I don't want to go into detail) but that is not the major factor right now as far as I know (although sometimes it's hard to judge "from the inside"!). There have also been some traumatic events in my personal/family history over the past few years (although nothing that most people don't have to go through at some point in their lives) which have not helped. Lastly the work situation is far from ideal in that it is somewhat unsettled. Irinically the events I mention above did make me look at things slightly differently in terms of getting too het up about work etc. but the problem is that I think I went to the other extreme and ended up not giving a toss to some extent and eventually my core beliefs kick in and the fact that I'm not doing something to the best of my abilities or taking pride/enjoyment from it gets me down even more.

Sorry - I know that this is primarily a financial forum but I just thought that I'd see if anybody had any useful advice on a non financial topic such as this and hopefully that others might benefit from discussion of such a topic. Once again I appreciate the feedback so far and will have a think about it and hopefully follow up on some of the tips.

A suggestion

Hi SPQR

You don't appear to have any material worries, e.g. money or health. You probably have achieved most things you need. So you get bored and worry about yourself.

You could try to shift the focus to others. Get involved with Simon or some other charity which makes you start thinking about the problems of other people. It is generally fulfilling and makes you appreciate what you have a bit more.

Volunteer

Hi SPQR,
I'm making a lot of assumptions here.

Would it be fair to ask if you're wondering 'what's your purpose'/'why are you here'/'what's it all about'? Are you middle-aged (I don't mean that in a bad way)? By that, I mean, did societal pressure force you into a job immediately after school and, now, 20 yrs later, you'd made it financially but you feel there should be more. You've a nice job, nice partner, nice house, nice car etc but what about 'me'?

What's 'more'? If you're married, perhaps you should talk to your spouse. At one time, the two of you did go through tough times and, now that you're faced with another problem, (s)he should be able to help.

I know of people in their 50's who took up painting as a hobby, took early retirement and went to college to study Philosophy/Social studies etc (Maynooth seems to be good for mature students).

If you're an 'expert' in your area, could you take early retirement and work as an 'angel/mentor' to new businesses or work part-time as a consultant. If you work for a large company, maybe they'll let you work part-time as a trainer.

From your posts, I get the feeling that you're something close to lonely. You have lots of acquaintances but you'd like 'real' friends or 'real' emotional contacts.

Am I totally wide of the mark?

Sluice

.

Thanks again for the feedback. Apologies for forcing you to make assumptions but the nature of the query is such that I'm nervous about giving too much detailed information.

I am not middle aged yet, am married and am in a profession that I chose myself, studied for and have mainly enjoyed over the years in spite of the odd bout of dissatisfaction (such as now) and doubt that it is the "right" thing for me (which I'm sure many people in different professions/jobs go through from time to time). We have our own house and are generally relatively comfortable financially and no health problems.

While the issue may indeed have a more fundamental root to it (e.g. the "meaning of life" type of stuff above which I'm sure also hits many other people at different stages of their lives) the more immediate problem for me is to try and get organised/motivated in the current job that I'm in. This is partly because not getting things done feeds into a vicious circle of being further demotivated and getting even less done and, I feel, if I can't sort this out here and now that changing jobs, roles or even profession won't address the underlying issues.

As I said before, part of the problem is the job itself which has been a bit precarious over recent months. The people with whom I work directly do not in any way contribute directly to the problems (e.g. I don't have a slave driving boss who puts me under pressure etc.). However another part is that I sometimes wonder if I'm starting to get a bit "burnt out" in relation to the job I do in spite of having had sufficient time off in the past couple of years to recharge and unwind.

The bit above about being lonely would certainly apply to my work situation because it is a small operation and, while the people are fine and good to work with, there is little in the way of social/personal interaction by and large. I'm not so sure that it would apply to my personal life outside work.

Ultimately I guess I would like to find some practical ways to instil some motivation and organisation to my work life in order to make it a little bit more enjoyable and manageable.

Re: goals?

Sometimes it helps to set some goals for yourself. Lots of people "underperform" when faced with the monotony of day-to-day work and need to be challenged. Its sometimes difficut if you have an easygoing/nice boss in this setting because you have to motivate yourself to a greater extent and be more self-driven.

What sort of things motivate you? For some people it's something external like job success (chasing a promotion) or respect (gaining a prestigious position, doing voluntary work). For others its more internal (feeling you are making a difference or being loved by spouse/children).

Some one recently told me that they found themselves getting "bored" and "lazy" despite having a job they liked, good family circumstances and financial security. He found the solution was to stretch himself financially...his advice to me was "Make sure you always have enough debt that you have to get out of bed and go to work every morning". Knowing this person well, I can see how that worked as a motivator for him.

Hope you find one that will work for you.

regards
tedd

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Hi tedd - thanks for the advice. I guess I do need to do something along the lines of thinking about what motivates me most and setting goals which strive towards that - hopefully such that they align with getting the day to day work done too. I've always found this sort of stuff tricky and wondered if others found specific approaches, methodologies, aids etc. helpful.

Re: .

This might not be of much help but .....

Maybe it's not something that needs to be fixed. I read a really interesting article by Tim Parks that basically argued that the biggest challenge in life is getting used to the mundane/humdrum aspect of it. I don't think this is a new complaint confined to the modern West - apparently it's dealt with in the story of St Timothy who felt slighted when left behind to "mind the house" while the big guns like St Paul went off galavanting spreading the word. I'm an atheist myself, but sometimes it's nice to know that you're only experiencing something that's part of the human condition and will probably pass. If you take this approach, then Volunteer probably has a point about focusing on others. I know I can overdo the naval-gazing at times.

The other thing is that practically everyone I know finds things getting on top of them (be it a relationship, work, insomnia, skin trouble, you name it) at this time of year. Our situations haven't changed, they just seem less tolerable - have you looked into SADS?

Rebecca

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Hi MissRibena - thanks for the feedback. You could have a point there (even more food for thought!). I too am an atheist as it happens and sometimes I wonder if the lack of some spiritual outlet could be another factor in sometime feeling a bit alone (in the greater scheme of things that is). However, like those who have a particular faith, this is part of my core belief system and, as such, something that I can't simply change willy nilly and so I just have to live with. I don't think that SADS is a factor here. I have suffered from depression and (a long time ago now) panic attacks for many years but after a bit of a crisis a few years ago prompted me to seek help (formal diagnosis, drug and counselling therapy) this has thankfully been under control since then. I take your point about the danger of prolonged introspection. Ultimately I would just like to get (back) to a point where my working/professional life is organised, productive and, as far as possible, enjoyable but have been finding this very difficult lately.

Thanks again to everybody for their comments/advice so far.

your life

SPQR, don't read this if you are afraid of some home truths. You are a thirtysomething woman probably no children, with successful husband who you married because you thought a nice wedding would be something fun to do. You lack passion in your life and you are bored with your career (and possibly spouse) as a professional IT consultant or tax adviser. SPQR consider your self lucky, very lucky with the privilaged life you have. Wake up and smell the coffee. If you are afraid of risk then don't pretend you could change your life overnight. We all have to suffer deaths of loved ones in this life. Deal with it. We all have to suffer in some way because we are human and that's life. We do it to each other and ourselves. Most people are on this site because we are trying to deal with the little things in life like trying to buy a house, or not to get thrown out of a house. Can we afford Christmas without having moneylenders knocking on our door. I despise people like you not because I begrudge you your comfortable life but because you can't be content with it. Please write a book on how to be as financial secure as you, we would all love to know, really. What we dont' want to know is that you aren't sure why you're not completely happy. If you really want to experience life write a cheque for the Rape crisis centre for something you absolutely can't afford and give it to them. Now wake up on Monday with nothing and you will be eager to go to work. Otherwise quite your moaning and enjoy the life someone was stupid enough to give you. Regards

.

Hi Breeze - in spite of your warning I read your post. Fair ebough you're entitled to your point of view. I was reluctant to post my query/problem on this site in the first place and appreciate that it may not necessarily be the most suitable forum for it. On the other hand I have seen that most people here are willing to provide constructive advice/feedback on a wide variety of disparate (including many non financial) queries/problems and I was interested in what such people might have to say about this one. I can understand why some people might have the "wake up and smell the coffee" attitude that you seem to have. This is an attitude that I and many others have faced in the past when suffering from clinical depression (oh - s/he has so much to live for why doesn't s/he just buck up) but which doesn't really help. Regardless of that I was originally simply looking (and would still welcome) for some tips/advice on how to get out of a slight rut in terms of organisation, motivation, time management etc. in order to become more productive and happier in what I do - even if this broadened out into a more tangential discussion of other related matters. I appreciate the fact that others have taken the time to provide some constructive advice. I even appreciate your feedback even, in my view, it is a bit macho, abrupt and not representative of the tone of this site as a whole. Hopefully your second and subsequent posts won't be in the same vein. Oh - and by the way, you are way off the mark with some of the assumptions you make about my situation.

Re: .

To be honest SPQR, I think your answer lies in a new social outlet. Work seems motiveless because you are in a bit of a rut regarding your time while not there. A bit of charity work could be what you need but why not think along the lines of a sports club/gym/bridge/karate/self defence/judo. Whatever tickles your fancy, even go out for a pint once or twice during the week. Nice to see you weren't sucked into the earlier poster's attempt to wind you up. Take a long weekend to figure out what you would like to take up. I try to always ask myself once a year 'What did I most want to do when I was growing up'. It could be a simple as a day trip to Bray. It could also mean a career change.
Good luck anyway
Ec

Re: .

Hi Elcato - thanks for the constructive feedback. Your suggestions seem to be ones echoed by others here and elsewhere. I will definitely take on board what has been suggested here and see what pragmatic purposes I can put them to. Great site by the way.

your life

SPQR, I apologise for my abruptness, it of course is insenstive and unconstructive. Nevertheless there is ying and there is yang. Life is about balancing both, not taking yourself too serious and getting on with helping yourself and others. If you have clinical depression all the advice in the world won't make the world seem so bad. It is a personal battle that you must try to conquer every moment of everyday, with XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX if it helps. I don't envy your battle. I hope you have someone close to you that is sympathetic and understanding to your plight. If you are trying to improve your working life then here are a couple of tips. About changing career. The grass isn't greener in the other field. 1. Focus on goals, (short,medium,long term) 2. Be creative 3. SWOT yourself - (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, threats) find out what they are for yourself and come up with strategies for them. If all else fails find out about NPL - neuro-linguistic programming. It will change your life for the better.

your life

Hi Breeze - I didn't begrudge you your original opinions although I must say that it seemed a bit extreme to say that you despised people like me because we don't appreciate what we have. How and ever, I appreciate your constructive feedback this time around. Based on this and other earlier feedback I am right now trying to do simple pragmatic things like break larger tasks down into smaller steps and write up "to do" lists for them allowing me to see that progress is being made as a tick things off the list. This ties in with your advice to concentrate on (in this case short to medium term) goals. I appreciate the point about "far away hills" being greener which is part of the reason that I wanted to try and sort things out where I am before considering a job/career move rather than anticipating that such a move now would magically fix the problems that I face (I believe that it wouldn't). Who knowns, if things become more organised/productive I might just find that I'm contented where I am. I never heard of NLP before but from a quick web search it seems to be something along the lines of a type of cognitive/behavioural (self?) therapy. I must have a read up about it. Just to clarify, as I mentioned before, my depression is thankfully under control these days, and has been for a few years now, with no ongoing need for anti-depressants or therapy/counselling. On the other hand, interchanges such as this are akin to low intensity therapy for the minutiae of the more mundane tasks in life and I appreciate all of the feedback that I have received here so far. Hopefully I'm not the only one that finds this discussion useful.

Re: your life

SPQR
Dont forget to keep us posted on progress in a few weeks time.