How do married couples split finances?

It's very much a team effort here. I earn it, she spends it! :p
We have a joint account which we use for everything. As others have said, it's just a matter of being open and clear about it, agreeing on big spends and trusting each other on the smaller spends (i.e. not constantly watching what is going out of the account). We both agree on target goals for saving which helps a lot in terms of knowing what we can and cannot afford so once we're meeting our targets we're relatively free to spend the rest. That said if someone were to analyse our spending they would probably say we don't spend near enough on ourselves and each other!
 
Most problems seem to stem from couples not being on the same page financially which speaks to broader issues around compatibility and communication.

There are certain behaviours which I just don’t think are right, e.g. an earning spouse being controlling about money or the higher earner only contributing whatever the other can afford.

It’s a partnership and there has to be trust. Communication, trust, and having a plan which you’ve discussed and agreed would seem to be the recipe for success.
 
No joint accounts or credit cards here. I’m paid more but OH better with finances so when I get paid I transfer money for bills and leave myself some spending money. Never any problems. Recent convert to Revolut card so we don’t even work with much cash now.
 
As mentioned a few times above.. its about choosing a compatible partner and being open on how finances will work.
My ex was a big spender and I was a cautious saver.
I knew this from an early stage of the relationship.
We never had the discussion on how we would compromise.
That all unfortunately caused the founations to crack qnd we never got out of the spiral.
 
My OH and I have separate accounts. I'm the bigger earner so I transfer a fixed amount to her monthly. We both generally take care of different things: her groceries, me utilities and car.

We both trust each other but like the autonomy of having own accounts. It seems to work.

I'm not convinced a joint account is essential once you both know each others' earnings and outgoings.
 
Both earn roughly the same. Separate current accounts with direct debits to joint account. One credit card account with a card each. Nearly all spending done with credit card so full transparency on spending. Balance cleared in full each month from joint account.
One of us looks after the finances. The only drawback, if anything happens the financial administrator, the other half has no idea how, what or when bills are paid or where the savings are.
 
Both of us have similar salaries. We have two children. One joint account into which we both pay a standing amount every month. All household payments come out of this including mortgage, bill's, school stuff, shopping etc. We top up every now and then for things like holidays etc. We both have our own private current and savings account. I love the independence of that! We also have a joint savings account which we rarely go at but is there if we have a need of emergey joint funding. I cant imagine it any other way
Not sure if it matters but have been together for 25 years and engaged for 13. Maybe we have commitment issues
 
Early Riser said:
Two seperate accounts and a joint "family budget" account. Standing order from each single account on payday into joint account. Decide what is to covered from joint account and be generous with funding it. Allow for contingencies and don't forget repairs, upkeep, decoration, Christmas, etc. Decide if cars are in or or out. If you have a family car and a runaround then they should both be in the joint account fund. If roughly equal salaries, then equal inputs. Otherwise, apportion as agreed.

It is good for each to have a residual individual account, however small. It is totally discretionary. No spending is too ridiculous from it - or saving, if that is the individual preference.
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Thank you, this is v helpful! Exactly what I needed
 
Thanks everyone really appreciate the replies and suggestions on what works for you. Think wel go with seperate as with a fixed amt feeding into a joint. We have a good marriage and everything works there are no arguments over money im just looking for a more stable and even plan where we can both save more and have finances run a bit smoother. I can be a bit of a spender and he would be v good with money I just dont want to leave my self open to scrutiny with what I spend my extra on lol. Thanks again
 
Exoverspender said:
Hi

Thanks for your reply. I completely agree iy should be a family exercise and it doesn't matter who earns more or what I'm just looking to see what works for people as I'm not content with current way. I'd like to keep individual accounts as I like it that way, hed be more cautious with money while I like to treat myself and kids id feel like he would scrutinise my spending if we had one account.
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So you agree it should all be common, but only on your partners side....

Here in Switzerland the common approach is everything goes into a common pot with each family member including the kids getting an allowance. Kids allowance is traditionally one Euro per year of age per week so an 18 year old gets 18 Euros a week etc.. from what I have read adults take out between 400 to 800 per month.
 
All shared here, a similar approach to some of the above posters described and it works really well.
 
Another advantage of having joint accounts and separate personal accounts can be avoiding the hassle of cheques being made out to individuals. I've had cheques returned from the joint account as they were payable to only one person. Other times it wasn't an issue.
 
We have joint current and savings accounts and both our salaries go in full to those. We dont operate seperate accounts anymore. We found this less hassle and we actually save more and we are both very happy with the arrangement. Me, more a saver her more a spender. I earn 30/40% more but at the end of the day its all family money and she makes sure neither the kids (nor me!) want for anything. When we had our separate accounts we kinda went a bit mad but we were younger then. We had a rule at the start of opening the joint accounts that no spend less than 100 could be questioned but as it turned out it never came up. We continue to have slightly different attitudes to money but we seem to work it out ok.
 
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