How can we promote even better behaviour on Askaboutmoney?

There's only one rule I think works and that attack the post not the poster.

That's a clear line.

It's like in hurling, player A gives player B a dig in the ribs with the side of the hurl; then player B turns around and hits player A and gets sent off.
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How this would work is Player B doesn't make a personal attack in response, but reports player A. Player A gets infracted or a temp ban, then on repeated occurrences a site ban.
 
AAM moderation probably tends on the strict side. But this is probably for the best.

It's not an anything-goes type forum for niche interests.

It's a place where factual and informed commentary should probably rise to the top, as it is in general a resource for the real world, not just somewhere you go to hear opinions.
 
Brendan Burgess said:
Or do we just accept that there will be a certain amount of low level insulting behaviour and live with it and the consequences?
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Some people will use curt and pointed language, others will couch their posts in softer language (perhaps more likely to land and stick, like snow). Some will spit their dummy out if things don't go their way. I don't think you should pander to that and I don't think there's much more you can do.
 
AlbacoreA said:
There's only one rule I think works and that attack the post not the poster.
That's a clear line.
How this would work is Player B doesn't make a personal attack in response, but reports player A. Player A gets infracted or a temp ban, then on repeated occurrences a site ban.
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There's a way of attacking a post which implicitly \ indirectly criticises its poster. It's really a personal attack, they're just trying to circumvent the rules on not attacking a poster directly. In my experience (not just on AAM) the thread will quickly degenerate into hostility, confrontation and it's only a matter of time before the directly personal attacks flow. Playing the "ball not the man" doesn't mean you can hit the man with one hand while grabbing the ball in the other.
Posts can be wrong\inaccurate and can be called out as such, without people having to call the post out as being stupid, rubbish etc

And it'd probably be better in an unmoderated forum if the poster just attacked the other poster openly and directly, it'd be more honest.
 
AlbacoreA said:
Most people can see through clever language.
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I'd still consider it the equivalent of "throwing the first punch", and if most people can see through it so can the mods and clamp down on it before the retaliatory punch arrives and the thread is killed.
 
I think the mods do a good job, and I wouldn't worry too much about the people you have lost, any change might cause you to lose other posters.

If people are not willing to stick with the limited rough and tumble that occurs here, that's a pity but a conversation cannot take place without some give and take.


mtk said:
I think there are too many " fights" . I wonder if internet attracts intolerance .
I rarely get involved in these and wonder why there is so much lost energy spent on these .
I think a lack of empathy is behind it and at times I think this comes from the top!
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Who are you calling intolerant ?;)

See even those who believe themselves to be empathetic can come across to others as bothersome people.
 
johnl68 said:
I don't post often but read every day. I think the moderators do an excellent job. Civility should be promoted, debate encouaged. Nothing worse than scrolling through a thread that has lost it's purpose due to bad tempered attacks that have lost sight of the topic.
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I agree. I like this site because it's fairly civilised and I manage to get an answer to my query.

I haven't been on boards.ie for years because of post going totally off topic and posters ranting.
 
I think there is too much savaging of anyone who maybe challenges the status quo.
We are not all big earners, maximising every loophole.
 
I am a very sensitive soul and go out of my way to offend no one.
There was a suggestion elsewhere a few years ago, that instead of responding in anger immediately to a provocative online exchange you wait 24 hours minimum before responding.
By that time I'm normally after moving on and completely forget to respond. Maybe 6 months later I might stumble on the thread again.
 
RichInSpirit said:
I am a very sensitive soul and go out of my way to offend no one.
There was a suggestion elsewhere a few years ago, that instead of responding in anger immediately to a provocative online exchange you wait 24 hours minimum before responding.
By that time I'm normally after moving on and completely forget to respond. Maybe 6 months later I might stumble on the thread again.
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Very good advice. I always regret replying to an email cross. Even an hour is sufficient.
 
I think my latest thread is a case in point, also a thread today about bidding at an auction. The replies are not in the spirit of this forum IMO if people come here for advice, give the advice without the smart and condescending comments.
 
Brendan Burgess said:
Hi pinkie

Clamped in my own parking space - rental car

I see nothing at all wrong with their replies. Some posters seem to want only replies from people who agree with them.



Brendan
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No, not at all Brendan I was just wondering where did I stand, did any other posters have the same predicament. Yes/no answers. Not the issue being referred to as a stupidity tax.
The tone of some of the replies was condescending to say the least, I'm surprised you don't see that.
 
pinkie123 said:
No, not at all Brendan I was just wondering where did I stand, did any other posters have the same predicament. Yes/no answers. Not the issue being referred to as a stupidity tax.
The tone of some of the replies was condescending to say the least, I'm surprised you don't see that.
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I didn't read it as an insult. Just that its happened to most of us, usually when we are stressed and it slips our mind. I would say more on the thread but its been closed.
 
pinkie123 said:
The tone of some of the replies was condescending to say the least, I'm surprised you don't see that.
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I just read that thread and the replied were quite innocuous (and I've done the same thing you did).
There's a difference between civility and finding that opinions, honestly given in a moderate and temperate tone, hurt your feelings.

I've been corrected plenty of times here. If you're wrong learn from it.
I've had plenty of posters make jokes at my expense. I didn't get upset; they were usually funny and this is only the internet, not real life.

There is a difference between someone posting about something personal and posting more general or generic comments but in the scheme of things getting yourself clamped isn't anyone's dark secret (unless they have led an utterly boring life).

We need to be careful that we don't lose the gentle banter that often makes this place more interesting and engaging.
 
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