Horse in pub

  • Thread starter slimJim3600
  • Start date
One for the boys

This bloke goes into a pub and sits down beside a blonde woman at the bar.
"Hey," he says. "Want to hear a blond joke?"
"Not really," says the blonde. "And, by the way, before you tell it I should tell you that I'm the Irish women's karate champ, the blonde behind you is the Irish women's judo champ, the blonde at the other end of the bar is the Irish women's boxing champ and the blonde by the door is the Irish kung fu champ.
"Now, do you really want to tell your blonde joke?"
"Nah," says the bloke. "Not if I have to tell it four times!"
 
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Man walks into a bar...

he has a sore head for the rest of the day after that!
 
Re: .

......or the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac who would lie awake all night wondering if there was a dog or not!
 
Re: .

....a guy walks into a posh bar wearing a casual open neck shirt. The barman says sorry sir can't serve you without a tie. So the guy goes to his car and finds the only thing that resembles a tie...... a set of jump leads. he duely dons the leads, heads back to the bar and asks the barman is his his new attire ok. The barman replies...........


Okay, just don't start anything.
 
Re: .

A hamburger walks into a bar and orders a pint of Heineken.... the barman says, ' sorry sir we don't serve food in here'.
 
A piece of string

walks into a bar and others a soft drink and sits quietly in the corner. A while later another piece of string walks in, orders a soft drink and sits down with the first piece of string.

Later a third piece of string walks in looking like a punk, i.e. he has a knot at the top and the end is all spikey. He orders a pint of cider and stands at the bar. The bar man points out the two other pieces of string and asks him are they his friends.

"Nah" replies the punk piece of string, " I'm a frayed knot!!"
 
Re: One for the boys

Paddy( can be a woman if you want) goes into a bar and orders 3 pints. takes a sup out of one, then another and then the other. drinks all 3 like that. barman comes over and tells Paddy that he can order 1 at a time and they will be fresher. yer man tells barman that he has 2 brothers,1 who has emigrated to New York and the other to Syney, and that they made a pact that every Friday that they would each go into a bar and have 3 pints,one for themselves and 1 for each of the others.
this goes on for months and months and the barman gets used to Paddy and his 3 pints
One Friday Paddy comes in and only orders 2 pints. the barman not saying anything pulls the 2 pints, and brings them down to Paddy. Who drinks the 2 pints more slowly than usual
Deciding that it would be nice to sympathise with him the barman asks if anything is wrong.
Terrible, dreadful news says Paddy. The worst. News no one ever wants to hear.
I'm so sorry says the barman and goes away. But curiosity roused he goes back and asks 'which one of your brothers passed away,the one in Sydney or the one in New York?

0h! Replies Paddy, nothing like that. I wasn't feeling well and went to the doctor, and hes put me off the drink for life.
 
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