Gay young people

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Purple

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I was at the Greenday concert with my eldest son last week and there were two girls beside us who were obviously a couple. They were in their teens, maybe 17-18. I found myself feeling proud of them despite not knowing them and hope if any of my children are gay they will have the courage those two have to openly embrace who they are and not try to deny who they are for the sake of any outmoded convention.

How do the other parents on here feel on the topic?
 
or they possibly were trying to distance themselves from convention and were acting out, thus not being true to themselves.
 
Possibly MrMan - but I think the converse is more likely.

I'm not a parent but I'll answer anyway

I've noticed this openly gay thing amongst younger people since around the mid 90s and I think it's great.

I think teenagers in general are less inhibited than they were in my day anyway (lad).

They are also more optimistic about options open to them in life and less concerned about convention - even within their own subcultures. E.g. an "Emo" kid might think nothing of letting it be known that he is mad into football even though it's 'against the rules' as it were. A full on metal girl might like sewing and cups of tea - and wouldn't care who knows it.

In my time we were all much more circumspect about these things. Sexuality these days is as mundane as which beer you prefer - and I for one am glad.

Of course yes, there is an element of "oh aren't we shocking" but I think it's the minority. Teenagers eh?

I'm waiting for the day that to stand out and make a statement, kids are going to wantonly display the fact that they don't have tattoos/piercings etc, are into the most conventional 'musak' around, and are fiercely straight.
 
MrMan said:
or they possibly were trying to distance themselves from convention and were acting out, thus not being true to themselves.
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Quite possible but also good to see that young people are not afraid to stand out, i know that when i was a teenager, only 10 years ago there were many who would do anything to blend in with the crowd, rightly or wrongly i think lots of young people have much more confidence than even ten years ago.

I'm not a parent but i remember watching 'growing up gay' in ireland on rte (I think) last year and promising myself that if i'm lucky enough to have kids that i'll always try to communicate to them that i'll love and support them no matter what. There's nothing as heartbreaking to see as parents criticising/condemning their children for a reason like sexuality when at the end of the day what most children want is their parents approval.
 
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I think it's so much easier for gay people these days, particularly young gay people. My sister is in secondary school and knows of two girls who are openly gay and it's just accepted; in m I know of a man in his 70's now who is gay but has spent his entire life alone living in a small village because he just wouldn't dream of having a partner for fear of what people will think, he is of a generation that just can't be open about such things. I myself genuinely wouldn't care if my children were gay once they were happy in themselves about it and can accept it themselves.
 
Sunny said:
I think it is a sin.
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C'mon, an old fogie trying to "be still with it man" by going to a Green Day concert isn't that bad. Not that I agree with it, some of my best friends are old fogies still trying to be with it, but what they get up to is up to them as long as they don't harm anyone else.

I just wish they wouldn't flaunt it so blatantly. Think of the children.
 

Lol
There were plenty of people there older than me (in their 40's, 50's and 60's) so I didn't stand out that much.
 
Purple said:
Lol
There were plenty of people there older than me (in their 40's, 50's and 60's) so I didn't stand out that much.
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And they were just the band ?



Speaking to my brother-in-law the other day, he had me in stitches with his tale of him, and other fathers, wandering aimlessly around The Point while his daughter enjoyed some band ( who I hadn't heard of when he told me, and can't remember now - something to do with the Twilight movies ?) in concert. He reckoned they really should have some sort of a creche for such 'lost souls'.

Back on topic, through half paying attention to the witterings of my wife's teenage niece, the practice of coming out seems to be way above what I assumed to be the national average (1 on 10) ? Are they all making an honest declaration of their sexual orientation, or is it part of contemporary teenage behaviour, or is she just bluffing ?
 
Parents can make you laugh sometimes - mine are late 60's & 70's, recently when talking to my Mam (forget the exact context) but it was mentioned that so and so was/could be gay - and she seemed genuinely horrified/bewildered - a bit like Donal Og's dad who wanted to get him "fixed".

Years ago she enquired as to what the word that sounds like anchor meant and was again appalled, though that subject is also now much less taboo.

So its a generational thing. Also as a rural dweller I thing such attiude changes take longer to emerge in rural areas - its not like there a visible gay scene in rural Ireland (or if there is I'm oblivious to it), whereas in cities theres probably a wide awareness at least of gay bars. Plus rural ireland doesnt offer the anonimity of cities so I'd say its a brutal place to live if gay.
 
Betsy Og said:
Parents can make you laugh sometimes - mine are late 60's & 70's, recently when talking to my Mam (forget the exact context) but it was mentioned that so and so was/could be gay - and she seemed genuinely horrified/bewildered ..
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My parents, in the year between getting married and the birth of my sister, used to go into the city (Dublin) for a night out. My father liked to go to the pubs that were popular with the literary crowd, e.g. Behan, Kavanagh, etc.

In Davy Byrnes one night my mother was astonished to see 2 men kissing. From a small town in Co. Dongeal, she had never heard of such a thing. My father explained it to her and also shed some light on why a neighbour of hers, in the same small Co. Donegal town, was known as 'John the Lady' !
 
I remember having to explain to my 50-something mother what 'hetrosexual' meant, when I was about 12.
 
TarfHead said:
In Davy Byrnes one night my mother was astonished to see 2 men kissing. From a small town in Co. Dongeal, she had never heard of such a thing.
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In the mid 90s I worked for a Saudi Arabian in the US (J1 visa). He was only in his 20s and wasnt fully acclimatised to western culture (he thought all us girls were very immodest in clothing wearing shorts and vest tops for example).

He was terribly interesting to talk to about cultural differences. He told me he had never even heard of the concept of homosexuality until he came to America and that there was no word for it in his language that he knew of. It just wasnt something that he had ever thought of or knew existed.

He didnt think there was anything wrong with it (where I worked for him was in a very popular gay resort so there was a lot of open homosexuality about) and said that if any of his children were homosexual he would be ok with it - but that they could only be homosexual in a particular culture, it would never work back in his home town as they would be ostracised and he wouldnt want that for them - nor would he want it badly reflected on him. So if it came to it and he had to go back to Saudi Arabia he wouldnt accept a gay child, but it would be ok in America - but fundamentally he didnt mind the concept of homosexuality.
 
truthseeker said:
He told me he had never even heard of the concept of homosexuality until he came to America...
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C'mon, he had never even heard of the concept?

A bit of a cultural dig at the decadent west there I think. For it to be illegal in countries there has to be a pretty strong awareness of the concept or the existence of gay people.
 
Purple said:
How do the other parents on here feel on the topic?
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I have a very strong preference that none of my children turn out/are (I don't know whether the in vogue reason for being gay is by choice or by nature) gay. I suspect that many (most) parents would have a similar view, if not express it publicly. Equally I would expect mine to be in the minority of expressed views on AAM.
 
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