Gay Marraige For or Against

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Thanks SLF, please stop going off topic on MY thread, like you do on your own.

Can't someone ban that guy?!
 

No, care should be the last option. If there is no suitable hetero couple of the appropriate age prepared to adopt the child, then it is better for the child to grow up with a gay or elderly couple rather than in care. In the other case of "Tom" and his gay partner, yes it is probably best that the partner can adopt the children in case something happens to "Tom".

But this has nothing to do with the "right to adopt"; it has to do with the needs of the child. I still maintain that there is no such thing as the "right to adopt".

Why is nobody up in arms about the "rights" of older couples? They are "discriminated against" all the time by adoption boards, no matter how loving they are. Why is it ok to "discriminate" against 50-year-olds in this way but not against gay people?
 
autumnleaf said:
Why is nobody up in arms about the "rights" of older couples? They are "discriminated against" all the time by adoption boards, no matter how loving they are. Why is it ok to "discriminate" against 50-year-olds in this way but not against gay people?
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I don't think that's as bad as it was, and age is no longer (officially anyway) a reason to refuse adoption.

To be fair, if we were to get up in arms about everything this country is messed up about, we'd need a lot of arms !!
 
The Jack and Jill story happened to someone I know quite well. Marriage ended and she began a relationship with another woman. They both live together with her child who is now about 11 and he's a happy-go lucky kid. No bullying or the like AFAIK
 
Pique318 said:
I don't think that's as bad as it was, and age is no longer (officially anyway) a reason to refuse adoption.

To be fair, if we were to get up in arms about everything this country is messed up about, we'd need a lot of arms !!
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Could this lady come to the rescue?
 
I have stated that I have reservations about gay adoption (based on what societal resistance/bias that child would face). I said that reservations based on what nature/god/fate intended were rubbish.
 
Pique318 said:
I don't think that's as bad as it was, and age is no longer (officially anyway) a reason to refuse adoption.
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Really? I thought there were restrictions based on age, de facto if not officially.

And to be honest, I think it's fair enough that there should be such restrictions. All else being equal, a young child is better off with a couple who have the energy to look after it. Of course, all else is not always equal and you can have special circumstances e.g. the couple are the child's grandparents or the child is older. But again, the decision should be made according to the needs of the child and not of the adopters, even if this seems discriminatory.

I guess this makes me ageist
 
jaybird said:
Well either we are all entitled to say what we like based on our own opinion, or we aren't. My opinion is that you come off as prejudiced. If you can give your opinion I can give mine, and thats mine.
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Of course we are and i'm delighted that you offer your opinion and take on board your comments. I wouldn't be as narrow minded as to simply think that you were wrong because i disagreed with you.
 
Here's a mad idea - let's forget about gender or sexuality of potential parents. Let's focus on the parenting ability of potential parents.
 
MrMan said:
good to see your back and we still disagree!
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Thanks And we do!

I think parenting abilities are far more important than the sexuality or gender of the parents.

If a child is raised in a loving environment, with 2 people who love each other then I fail to see why their sexual proclivities should matter. Who among us has been influenced by what our parents get up to in the bedroom? Its not something that happens in front of a child, it is a private matter between 2 consenting adults.

The bullying argument is just irrelevant, children get bullied for all manner of things no matter what the sexuality of their parents.
 
Complainer said:
Here's a mad idea - let's forget about gender or sexuality of potential parents. Let's focus on the parenting ability of potential parents.
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Your right it is mad idea to narrow down the debate as it excludes the possibility that there may be more to raising a child than what goes on in the privacy of a home.
 
MrMan said:
Your right it is mad idea to narrow down the debate as it excludes the possibility that there may be more to raising a child than what goes on in the privacy of a home.
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So what are the important things that go into raising a child?
 
truthseeker said:
So what are the important things that go into raising a child?
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Well its a point that has been raised and shouted down, but I feel that society isn't ready for daddy/daddy families and it will have an impact on the child for sure. Posters have said that children get bullied for loads of things and if they were mixed race or mixed religion they could be bullied too, so does that make it ok? Sure the black kid will be bullied and the muslim kid will be bullied so the kid with the 2 dads will fit right in.
TBH I don't have any great moral objection to it, yes it does make me uncomfortable and yes I do accept that good parents are hard to find and 2 dads might be great, it just doesn't seem like the right fit. I don't think gay couples were ever meant to be parents for obvious reasons.
The nature element to my argument doesn't get much (any) backing here, but most things in nature have a purpose and we have evolved to our current state and that for me spells out the best case scenario is man/woman +child.
 
The intrinsic gayness of a household does not really strike me as a major hazard to children of itself; I am disinclined to express a view one way or the other - or perhaps I should say that the gayness issue is not the problem, and if it is a problem it is by no means the most pressing problem our children face in securing the right to a decent upbringing.

A more pressing problem is this: sufficient studies have been carried out to allow us say without any real doubt that children suffer badly by not having a male role model\father figure in their lives. I am sure the same would be true for children raised without a female role model, but we probably don't have sufficient data on this, because it is much less common. I did a quick google for this informative link, but there are many more:
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How can we address this problem without criticising the already entrenched trend of single motherhood? (because criticising single mothers is a big no no; I accept this orthodoxy as unchangeable). How do we deal with the problem of unmarried\separated\divorced fathers being denied ( or neglecting to take) the opportunity to participate fully as parents?

Worrying about gay adoption is, with great respect to all contributors, to ignore the great big elephant already in the room. All is not well by any means.
 
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