OP here - not trying to make anyone feel guilty or defensive!!
I was watching a programme the other night and when someone spoke text would appear on the screen with their name, what they do and area where they are from. Most people had something like electrician, businessman, etc. - but a few of them were "full time mothers" and it just irked me. I agree that it is a full time job in itself but I think that someone who works is also a full time parent! I suppose it is a question of labelling - not sure of alternatives though. How about the term "stay-at-home mother/father"??
Children at school 9 to 3, doing homework/ having snacks/ playing 3 to 6; at home or at sport training for the next 15 hours. I would hardly describe them as being being "reared" by somebody else when it's really less than 3 hours a day.
I would much prefer a child to be in after-school care than being dragged to shops, supermarkets and appointments (hairdresser, queuing for car tax, yadda yadda).
I hate when women describe themselves as being a "full-time mother". Does this mean that women who work are only part-time mothers?
As Huskerdu says - if you're happy with your arrangments then live and let live - every single family operates in a different way and every parent raises their child differently.
If you have a set-up that you enjoy and is working for you and your family, be thankful.
Why would you "drag" them to your appointments when you would have time to get those things done in the morning?
My kids are not it school from 9 till 3,not for many years in some cases.
9 till 11.30 Playschool.Next 9 to half one,next 9 till half 2,next 9 till 3.45.
Who do you think helps them with their homework?
Who do you think makes the "snacks"?
Who do you think brings and collects them from after school activities?
I am the child of a full time working mother ,I know which option I want for my children.
"Full-time" or "stay-at-home" what does the label matter? It's just semantics.I hate when women describe themselves as being a "full-time mother".
This thread was certain to become divisive form the start.Does this mean that women who work are only part-time mothers?
OP here - not trying to make anyone feel guilty or defensive!!..... but a few of them were "full time mothers" and it just irked me. ....
As Mrs Firefly via her qualifications will more than likely be the higher earner in our family longterm this was a big decision for us to make.
"Full-time" or "stay-at-home" what does the label matter? It's just semantics.This thread was certain to become divisive form the start.
My own view is that, where financially practical, young children are best cared for at home with a stay-at-home parent (ideally their mother). IMHO people feel guilt, in general, for a reason and often try to rationalise their choices so as to assuage such feelings.
This is a very sensitive issue. However, I feel most families have a choice. To stay at home one parent must sacrafice a salary and probably delay career progression some what. It will mean a cutback on material items etc.
At the top of the agenda though, IMO, is what's best for the child.
We spent a LOT of time making our decision that Mrs Firefly would stay at home rather than opting for the creche option. As Mrs Firefly via her qualifications will more than likely be the higher earner in our family longterm this was a big decision for us to make.
Below are our reasons and I cannot stress that this is not a dig on parents who go the creche route.
Before we made our decision we observed children who visited our home who went to creche. We found that they were very clingy to their parents and grabbed our baby's toys and wouldn't share.
I think minding one or two of your own children is a difficult task. I'd question the ability/dedication to minding many more that aren't even your own.
Creches IMO operate like a production line - all the babies are fed and changed at the same time. We didn't want our baby sitting in a corner with a dirty nappy for upto an hour
Everyone has a bad day, we don't want any adult having a bad day near our child
Babies and young children aren't able to communicate what goes on in creche. If their hair is pulled etc we'll never know.
When our child is sick we want to be the ones doing the caring.
I remember as a kid in school finding the days very long. To a 9 month-old stuck in a corner it must seem an eternity
Having said that..our plan is to put our children into creche for perhaps 1 or 2 days a week when they are 3 years old as I think at that stage they will have a very solid and secure upbringing and the social development as well as art and games etc would be good at that stage.
There are a few more if I thought about it.
Again I'd like to stress that I don't want to offend anyone and if someone can offer positives to creche etc I'm open minded.
Some are.When you say rationalising their choices you make it sound like they are deluding themselves into thinking something bad is good
Perhaps.- perhaps it's just a matter of reminding themselves of the positives as well as the negatives of a given situation, to stop unnecessary agonising about something they've already decided it's the best/only way.
I spoke to 2 creche owners (both outside our living area). Both said that for babies aged 9 months (stationary) they are put into their own area and largely left to play with themselves. One of them said it was due to constraints, the other actually thought this was a good idea.
Are you sure you didn't misunderstand? Babies of 9 months don't normally play with each other or even register each other. Neither would they react well to older kids pulling toys away from them. Maybe this is what they were talking about, as opposed to meaning the babies were just left in a corner and ignored, with no adult interaction or toys to play with.
.
I have 2 teacher friends who claim that they can spot the children who went to a creche on the first day of school as their social skills are usually much more developed than those who didnt.
I have 2 teacher friends who claim that they can spot the children who went to a creche on the first day of school as their social skills are usually much more developed than those who didnt.
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