Executor Causing Misery - Advice Please

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Here's my tuppence worth:

1. Your Dad should send funeral bill to executor for refund from estate.
Yes I understand he's a decent person and doesn't mind at all paying for the funeral - that's not the point - if he doesn't want the money he can donate it to Cancer research. The point is to focus the executor that there are bills to be settled.

2. Your Mum should lodge a caveat with the Probate Office.

3. You should create alerts with online websites / local agent so that you know if the property is put up for sale.

4. Everyone should then forget about the whole thing for the next 12 months.

5. If after one year there is no sign of the funeral bill being settled or any progress with probate, application can be made to remove the executor.
 
vincentgav said:
I think that the will was changed when Granny had already descended into madness
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Not the nicest thing to say about anyone suffering with this illness, sort of leaves a sour taste.

vincentgav said:
€30K is the AMV, the official valuation given by the estate agent.
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Yet you dispute this official valuation,

vincentgav said:
I'd want us to take it
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I get that,

vincentgav said:
I think she should just hand it over, she doesn't need money.
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Come on now..

vincentgav said:
Her ex husband left her their big house, she's sorted.
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And... Think what you saying

vincentgav said:
The €3k was the total cost of the funeral.
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So apart from the €2k left in her account, there will be €1k outstanding, €350 each

vincentgav said:
I haven't asked her a single question, regarding or not regarding. I haven't said a word to her in the last month.
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Well you need to start there.

You know the agent now, who will be selling the property if its going on the market, talk to him.

You wanted advise, Im not here to rub you back etc, but you've written you opening post with steam coming out of your ears. So, My advise is to calm it down. You will achieve more with a cool head.
 
Your elder aunt is claiming, without showing any evidence, to be the executor. From your posts, I gather that NOBODY else can confirm this. As far as everyone was concerned your other aunt was going to be executor.

I think that establishing for sure who is the executor should be your starting point. If neither of your aunts assist with this I would ask a solicitor for help.
 
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I think that the will was changed when Granny had already descended into madness
Not the nicest thing to say about anyone suffering with this illness, sort of leaves a sour taste.

Granted, apologies, I just needed to express how well and truly she was in no state to decide anything.. Not least to give her wedding ring to the daughter who wrecked her head for decades.
 
vincentgav said:
That's ok, it's written, not verbal, things can be skewed. I appreciate everyone even taking the time to read.

It's not that Granny didn't think anyone was interested, it's more a case of my controlling aunt wanting to take charge of the situation herself.

She claims there's a will, claiming nobody is to get anything but then she won't discuss any details. She was confronted by my mother last week, demanding to know why she refuses to answer questions at all. She said that there was an 'issue with the deeds' or an 'issue with the will'.

That's the latest info.

Now we don't even know if there is a will, everything was to go to my other aunt who is nice and reasonable. We're thinking that there was no written will.

Is there a way to find out if there was one? If there was no will in writing, could I just claim; 'Yes, I'm the executor, Granny told me that I was.' and plough along?
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Working on the basis that “ there is an issue with the Will “ I would suggest that you write to your Aunt suggesting that an intestacy possibly arises in that event & that you intend writing to the Probate Registrar in order to have the Estate distributed under the Succession Act 1965 also pointing out that it may be necessary to appoint a Solicitor in this regard.
As pointed out to you earlier seeking a refund of the funeral expenses should generate some action by your Aunt - you really are going to be a lot firmer in your chosen course of action if you want to progress matters otherwise the suggestions made to you on this thread are all for naught.
 
I haven't stopped logging in guys, I'm reading and relaying this info as it comes, thank you all so much.
 
Indeed.

However the advice in my post holds good even if the executor is a saint.

Once the requisite saintliness has been established, the caveat can be lifted, and all will proceed normally.
 
Indeed, I dunno what's going through her head. If she'd only co-operate and tell her sisters what's in the actual will, or if there's something about money, say so, so we can sort that. Money isn't an issue, it's a tiny one bed house. I'm concerned she might want to sell it just to keep it away from people.

I know she was very bitter after her divorce, she had a daughter die, years ago, leukaemia. Wasn't the same since. She also has a son in America, he won't stay with her when she comes home, stays with my sister cos she picks fights with him re: guilt, etc whenever he's home. He's 42.

You wouldn't know what she's thinking.. If she'd onloy try to engage normally rather than taking a stance of; 'Right, now I've got this and I'm not going to do what anyone says'. Normal chats about where to eat etc to her are all arguments. You can't recommend anywhere, she'll disagree. I honestly tend to recommend places I don't want, cos she'll disagree guaranteed. I recommend a bad place, she picks other places so I agree. Tried takling her out for her birthday couple years ago, nice restaurant, she had none of it, we wanted to pay, just to be nice, ended up in the local hole for a This post will be deleted if not edited to remove bad language carvery. Had a nice idea in mind but we all had to go there cos she kicked up. Still paid for it all.. Just arguing for the hell of it.

It's genuinely sad, I can't imagine being so 'at war' all the time.
 
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I'd advise you to edit your post and remove any personal information that's not relevant to your question - Ireland is a very small place.
 
All info has been padded already lads, every detail, I know what ye are saying. County, ages, etc.
 
Yeah, we do need to make it known. Her son isn't coming back, he has a family there, been there for 25 or so years.

Thanks.
 
vincentgav said:
Thank you all for the answers, we've a lot to think about now.
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Take advice from post 26 and 29 as you can see she cannot sell it if it is not left to her.I would be taking your aunt at her word until you find out otherwise,go along with asking her to give you last refusal if selling that way there will be no hard feelings It is possible she left it to the oldest in the family the older generation done so in the past,she may have given her the ring for the same reason,
 
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