I'm thinking of it from his side too. He has no interest in it. He does not particularly want to do it, and it has already caused a rift.It really would be worth your while to educate yourself better in this area.
If you have 6, 8 or even 10 beneficiaries how do you imagine it would work?
Being an executor requires actual (unpaid) *work*.
He has now told me the delay in information is because fathers partner is considering contesting the will.
At least I know.
To be honest I dont care if she does. They were together a long time, but not married. I don't think she has any rights to it, and she will occur legal expenses.
We are going in April. It is the earliest date that the solicitor could meet us.If you are so convinced there is skull duggery afoot then off you go to England and employ a solicitor to put a stop to it. Whatever funds were in your fathers account at time of death must be accounted for before going to probate. The solicitor will have got statements from the banks stating the balance. Of course it is possible for an executor to hide an account and perhaps there is an account where your father gave the executor the right to sign for withdrawals. Also any cash could disappear that way also.
Do you know how long on average probate takes? We have decided to go over and try and sort it out ourselves as otherwise I think it could drag on over a year
What do you mean, 'aha the first time you've told us that'. I posted it the day that I heard it. That's quite a strange comment to make?Ah ha, first time you've told us that. That they were together a long time. She must be grieving. And I bet she has some rights. Nowadays even in Ireland living together gives you rights.
I note that you've decided to travel over, to speed things up. Good luck with that. Not sure what that is going to achieve that a registered letter to the solicitor of the executor wouldn't achieve.
Major he didn't want to leave her any of it. The last time I was over in England he brought me to see our childhood house and said to me that he wanted to leave it to me and my brother. So I know that was his express wish.
How I feel now is I don't care if she challenges it and every fecking penny is gone on legal expenses. I know my father wanted us to have it and I will fight her and I told them so. And if there is nothing left at the end so be it, I know he loved us and what he intended.
Bronte I'm not sure why you are so insistent that his girlfriend should get a share.Oh dear, fighting talk. Sad. And very unwise. Never mind a foolish statement like not caring about every penny going on legal expenses. Do you think your father would agree with you? To fight his long term partner? Is this the right course of action.
Is the animosity being driven by your mother?
Do you think its right to speak so harshly to someone who lost her father two months ago?IOh dear, fighting talk. Sad. And very unwise. Never mind a foolish statement like not caring about every penny going on legal expenses. Do you think your father would agree with you? To fight his long term partner? Is this the right course of action.
Is the animosity being driven by your mother?
I'm thinking of it from his side too. He has no interest in it. He does not particularly want to do it, and it has already caused a rift.
My mother rang me yesterday saying she has not slept well for a week with the worry. I have not slept well myself. He doesn't want to do it, and we would love to look after our assets, that's why I wonder : couldn't the situation be easier. When it is over I will breathe a sigh of relief.
I see you're coming at this from your 'bitter executor ' side. You've stated before that you've been an executor and hated it, so maybe you should take that hat off before you comment biasedly on other peoples situations.Why is your mother worried, it's none of her business.
As for your uncle, apart from the 10K which is totally wrong, maybe he's doing it, the onorous job of executor because that is your father's wish. As written in his will. You have an issue with your father's wishes because they don't suit you. If I were your uncle, at this stage I'd say he's sorry he ever took the job on.
Do you think its right to speak so harshly to someone who lost her father two months ago?
Thank you! A kind post on here makes all the difference. I felt in tears after some of them earlier today.Nicole84 - I am sorry for your loss. Brief posts on message boards can often sound insensitive, particularly if we are already feeling emotionally distressed. However, I think the posters are all trying to be helpful. Your father stated his wishes in his will and he also appointed your uncle and aunt as executors - again, his wishes. It sounds like this is a nightmare situation for them now too.
At the risk of also sounding insensitive and/or patronising may I suggest that the best thing you can do at this time is to look after yourself physically and emotionally ? This will involve stepping back a bit, at least for a time. It does sound as if there is a lot of anger as well as grief floating around within the family. High emotions and calm decisions generally do not go well together. If necessary, would you consider counselling or talking with your GP ? It might be money better spent in the short term than on instructing solicitors. Of course you have to keep an eye on your your own and your brother's interests as well, but one can complement the other.