no harm in asking her eh? "i'm new to this, so maybe you could help me understand the process" kind of attitude.
But what do you hope to acheive by this?
You say your desire is to ensure that you are "treated fairly". But this is not what the EA wants; she wants to get the highest bid that you are willing to make, and she wants the same in relation to every other bidder.
Earlier in this thread you suggested that you should have been told about the 455k bid first so that you could bid 460k, so that you would now be the highest bidder. You point out that if 460k was the max for both you and X, you would then get the house for 460k, since X would not put in another bid.
But you, in fact, are willing to bid more. We know this because you have said that you intend to continue to bid. So in truth the EA's strategy has worked well; she will now get a bid in excess of 460k from you, and the house will sell for more than 460k. Selling the house to you for 460k would obviously have been advantageous to you, but it would not have been advantageous to the EA's client; the person whose interests she is required to prioritise and to advance. There is no appeal you can make to any concept of "fairness" that will persuade her that she should have adopted a course of action that might have resulted in the house selling for less that it will now sell for.
Nor, I think, is their any concept of "fairness" that dictates that you should have been told about bids before X was told about them. The EA genuinely does not care who buys the house; the practice of going first to the underbidder is not dictated by any sense that the underbidder has a right of first refusal, but by the pragmatic consideration that the underbidder is the one most likely to overbid the current highest bid. It's a practice that can be overridden by the most trivial and arbitrary of reasons — e.g. a timely enquiry from another bidder or potential bidder. The EA could toss a coin to decide which underbidder to go back to first, and I don't think anyone could maintain that that was "unfair", because no bidder has a right to be prioritised over any other bidder.
As others have said, I think you are allowing yourself to be distracted here. All that matters is how much you are willing to pay for this house, and how much others are. If you start engaging with the EA about best practice and fairness and will she undertake to call you first? you mark yourself out as someone who is not focussed first and foremost on buying the property, and then she is even less likely to have you at the top of her list for calls back.