Interested in the house-before-wedding v wedding-before-house debate. I'm getting married next year and will be returning to my rented apartment when we get back from the honeymoon. Won't have to borrow anything to pay for the wedding or honeymoon but I don't necessarily see how you have to own a house before you get married as some others have suggested
Eddie Hobbs - Wedding Plans
- Thread starter gearoidmm
- Start date
gearoidmm said:
I don't think anyone was suggesting that you must have a house before getting married.
For us the priority was to get on the property ladder first and have the wedding later rather than the reverse....especially as house prices are rising all the time...but each to their own
Joe Nonety
Registered User
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Eddie's theory does make sense in some ways, in that a couple or a person that's invited is likley to cover more than just the per person cost and so all this extra money pays for the other costs of the day. However what he doesn't consider is that by inviting lots of fringe relatives and friends it'll probably mean a lot of extra invites to weddings yourself and when you add in the cost of accommodation, drink, present and new clothes it won't be worth it. So if you are going to follow Eddie's advice and go for 300 guests instead of 150, include mainly married couples in the beefed up numbers.
delgirl said:Is this some sort of weird marriage proposal?
We're talking about weddings, and the cost thereof, here - perhaps you'd like to pose your question/point of view in the Property Investment Forum?
Well it beats "how would you like to be buried with my people?"
We bought the house when we got engaged and decided to wait for 2 years to get married and hopefully the equity in the house would pay
for the wedding. We remortgaged and paid €15K for all the trappings and 275 guests.
Bargained everyone (band, dj, photographer, cake etc) down by a lot. Got about 40% off the price of the band, 30% off the photographer, 50% off the price of the video 30% off the flowers. Even got €1.5k off the food and drink costs when we haggled with the hotel manager. The secret was to book everything less than 6 months in advance. That way they all knew they werent going to get another wedding for that date.
After we came back from honeymoon we had some of the usual rubbish (crystal, silver, toasters etc) for presents but to our surprise we had over €22K in cash.
Paid it off the mortgage then. Actually made a profit on the wedding which is a first as far as i know. It seems now that people realise how much its costing you to have them at your wedding and will give you cash as a present. I think we'll get married again.
for the wedding. We remortgaged and paid €15K for all the trappings and 275 guests.
Bargained everyone (band, dj, photographer, cake etc) down by a lot. Got about 40% off the price of the band, 30% off the photographer, 50% off the price of the video 30% off the flowers. Even got €1.5k off the food and drink costs when we haggled with the hotel manager. The secret was to book everything less than 6 months in advance. That way they all knew they werent going to get another wedding for that date.
After we came back from honeymoon we had some of the usual rubbish (crystal, silver, toasters etc) for presents but to our surprise we had over €22K in cash.
Paid it off the mortgage then. Actually made a profit on the wedding which is a first as far as i know. It seems now that people realise how much its costing you to have them at your wedding and will give you cash as a present. I think we'll get married again.
though am a cash giver and was a grateful receiver, a few "goods" are nice, especially from close family. Something to plonk on the mantlepiece or cabinet - who buys crystal for themselves??...
I'd imagine you'll get a few irate responses re describing the other stuff as "rubbish".
I'd imagine you'll get a few irate responses re describing the other stuff as "rubbish".
But most people have plenty of 'stuff' to put on the mantlepiece. And its stuff that they picked themselves and so like them. They might not like some crystal that a relative thinks they will.Betsy Og said:
Even though they wont tell you almost everyone i know think it inconsiderate and a cop-out to buy people 'ornaments' as presents no matter how much they cost. We got a waterford crystal decanter from a couple. It was very nice and one of the few useful crystal presents we got. When they called out for dinner about 3 months after the wedding, they were disgusted to see that we had booze in it rather than have it just on display. Also its hard to put some stuff on the mantlepiece aand put the ugly stuff away and then have the person who gave you the ugly stuff wonder why you dont have it.
We got a huge painting (about 23 ft wide and very expensive), but its ugly to us and we dont want it on the wall. Several times the friend that gave it to us has been asking how we like it. When he comes to the house we have to put it up.
At a time when a couple need a helping hand they dont need glorified glass or someone elses taste in what might look good
It would be interesting to hear other peoples opinions on getting crystal, pictures or kitchen equipment for presents though.
That's the whole point of wedding lists though, isn't it. If there are things that you need around the house, pop into Arnotts (or wherever) and make a list of things that you would like people to buy.
A friend of mine recently got married and had a wedding list for his relatives and some of the older people coming who might not feel comfortable with the idea of giving money. All the rest of the guests gave vouchers or cash.
I think, these days, if there's no list, it's a given that cash is what they want. My taste in ornaments may be different from my auntie in Sligo.
A friend of mine recently got married and had a wedding list for his relatives and some of the older people coming who might not feel comfortable with the idea of giving money. All the rest of the guests gave vouchers or cash.
I think, these days, if there's no list, it's a given that cash is what they want. My taste in ornaments may be different from my auntie in Sligo.
Yeah, we got some hideous gifts- one in particular struck me: an Itlalian crystal "sculpture" of an eagle with a clock insert on a timber base! It wasn't cheap but we hated it. It languished in the attic (unused!) for 5 years until I dropped it into a local charity shop. We also got a Waterford crystal lamp, while not unattractive it doesn't suit our decor and it met the same fate. Neither gift was from family or close friend so we're unlikely to be asked about their whereabouts. I have no qualms about getting rid of stuff we don't want or like- it's only cluttering your life and we have enough of that I think.
minion said:At a time when a couple need a helping hand they dont need glorified glass
It would be interesting to hear other peoples opinions on getting crystal, pictures or kitchen equipment for presents though.
i reckon the only way to go is have your house bought before you get married because folks are less likely give you stuff for your house because in theory you have already fully decorated it yourself.
I got married and bought the house 4 months after, now we did get cash from folks who knew us - we were saving like hell and figureens were the bottom of our wish list but there were canteens of cutlery, crystal and LAMPS
and a few other bizarre gifts.I look at one lamp we got that I know cost in excess of €400 sitting on an argos study table for €39 and i think what were these people thinking? they were obviously blessed with generosity but at least if it was a microwave or whatever i would have been just as greatful and happy - but a load of decorative stuff (not all to my taste) sitting in the attic till i get the cash together to get furniture to display it just seems daft.
Cash aside the best presents we got were department stores vouchers because we got to kit out the kitchen/ house with basics, soft furnishings, linen, and on one very strapped week - the groceries. we had the best craic going shopping for saucepans one saturday (being broke we didn't get out too much!)
So when attending weddings it depends on the couple whether we give cash or vouchers to the same value.
S
SteelBlue05
Guest
Carpenter said:
You b*a$$$$d, that cost me a fortune!