Do you answer the door when not expecting someone?

I would consider it bad manners to ignore the door bell, when it is quite clear that you are in the house. If it is a cold calling sales person, a polite "no thanks", takes 30 seconds of my time.

I like the fact that my neighbours call over unannounced sometimes. I live in a friendly place. My elderly next door neighbour doesn't have a mobile phone and if she has called to my door, it might be to deliver a parcel that she was good enough to take in when a delivery van called. It would be very sad if I left her standing there because I didn't want to be disturbed.

When it was snowing, we were knocking on each others doors every day to check who needed something in the shop, or getting their kids to school.

I couldn't live a life where I felt locked up at home, and only welcoming people in, on invitation and only if the house is spotless ( which is never).

We called into friends unannounced a few years ago, because we were lost and ended up close to their new house which we had not seen. They were delighted and said it was the first time that they really felt at home in their new house, because they got their first unannounced visit.

I like that.
 
I agree with Latrade.

Where I live, none of my friends would be 'just passing by'. They would have to get into their car and drive up to me. It makes sense that they would ring or text first to make sure I'd be there (or give me time to make up an excuse if I want my evening to myself). I live in an apartment block so if the neighbours wanted to pop in with a message or whatever they would knock on my door not go outside and ring the bell.

To be honest, by the time I get home from work via the supermarket and make dinner etc I really just want to be able to sit down for a couple of hours and veg. I prefer to know in advance if someone's calling around so I haven't got into 'zone out' mode and am ready for a bit of chat and socialising. I know my mother would think that very odd, but there you are.
 
huskerdu said:
I would consider it bad manners to ignore the door bell, when it is quite clear that you are in the house. If it is a cold calling sales person, a polite "no thanks", takes 30 seconds of my time.
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I consider it bad manners to be calling in the evening unannounced deliberately targeting dinner or just after dinner time in an attempt to get me to part with money.

But also to reiterate: people still pop around. Friends, neighbours, family all of them and they are always welcome. It just so happens that all of them, even next door, send a quick text to see if either we're home or free.

There's nothing wrong with that, it's not a loss of friendly neighbours, it's just that modern technology affords us a courtesy we didn't have in the past. It's not always convenient for someone to pop around at that specific time, mobile phones enable people just to check that it is. It's not hermetically sealing yourself from society.
 
To be honest I would be mortified if I called around to someone and it was quite clear I was interrupting their dinner, or they'd been in the shower or they had other friends already there and I was not really welcome. I would far prefer to check in advance and know I was calling in at a time that suited them. Even years ago when 'popping in' was commonplace I bet there was a lot of gritted teeth and reluctantly made pots of tea by people who were raging they were missing their favourite programme or had been looking forward to curling up on the couch with a book once the kids were in bed.
 
Perhaps the best thing would be for people to have a hat just inside the door.

An old lady in the village would always have a hat on when she opened the door.

If she didn't want to entertain somebody she said, "So sorry, but I'm getting ready to go out".

If she was happy to see somebody she said, "I'm just back - come in".

Seems, it's not just a sign of the times! :)

Marion
 
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