Dating in 2010 at the age of 40

B

becky

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Bit of advise needed. Met a guy on Sunday night and at the end of the night he asked for my number. I got a text on Monday AM asking how I was to which I replied. Got a reply text to my text but didn’t reply as told to play it cool.

Same friends are saying he should ring by today/tomorrow but so far nothing. Don’t want to be too bunny boiler cos I have seen friends drunk texting and then wondering why he cooled off.

I did really like him. Any thoughts?
 
Play the waiting game.

He is the one who asked for your number - so the ball lies in his court to look for a date.
 
He might not want to come across as a stalker type.

If you ignored his last text, he might think you aren't interested.
 
RMCF -that's what I thought too but I also agree with truthseeker.

I'm at a loose end today is all. The great advisors that are my friends aren't helping what with them looking for updates.
 
becky said:
as told to play it cool.
Click to expand...

Worst advice ever.

Sorry, but I hate when people (mainly women) say this. Might be relevant when you're 16 or something but playing hard to get and other game playing is just ridiculous after the age of e.g. 25.

If 40 odd years on this planet has taught me anything it's that men are generally far less calculating and devious than some women think they are. They tend to be much more matter of fact and blunt in "affairs of the heart" especially at this age.

Just be honest with both yourself and him - employ common sense though and try to be level headed but forget the second guessing and skirting around is my advice.
 
Have to agree with RMCF.
He texted you last - so its over to you to keep things going - Why not text him to suggest he actually call you and have a chat.
Then you will be able to sus out both your levels of interest, much more easily than through impersonal texts...

(I hate texting)
 
Agree with RMCF. I don't understand this whole not replying to texts, the 3 day rule, waiting game etc etc. How is anyone supposed to know you like them and are interested in them if you don't reply? As far as I'm concerned if someone texts me, regardless of who they are, I reply. Also, as it is Wednesday and people will in general start making weekend plans around now it might be an idea to ring him, not text, and just see if he'd like to do something at the weekend.

I'm 23 and if I like someone I tell them, if I don't like them I tell them, if I want to talk to someone I do, if I don't want to talk to someone I tell them I'm just not interested, it's that simple. People aren't mind readers.
 
Yeah give him a call and have a chat. Maybe about Cowen, lighten the mood !!!
 
Also, your friends badgering asking did he call, did he text, offering suggestions like well don't text him, you don't want to seem desperate etc etc, that's not going to help. My advice would be to ring him and just be honest, don't worry about seeming too keen or playing hard to get and feed your friends as little information as possible until you are on firm footing with the man.
 

Agree, the ball is in your court. This guy is probably seeking to arrange a date sometime over the next few days, so you should either call him or text him back to arrange something - suggesting time/place etc.

Guy's dont do the play it cool or play hard to get thing - this is a big mistake that girls often make. They assume that if you dont respond in a timely manner, you're just not interested.
 
Yes csirl, agree with that. Majority of men are not calculating when it comes to dating. He texted you, got no reply, is probably thinking "huh, i thought that date went well".
 
Just text him and start a line of communications up. He can't read your mind if you don't reply to his text. Forget the "games". Text and ask him to call you if he's interested in meeting up sometime. The balls in his court, he'll ring if he's interested. Good luck!
 
I disagree with the lot of ye!

He sent a text, she replied, he replied - end of text conversation.

That does not leave the ball in her court. Its normal to just have a couple of texts back and forth and its irritating to have someone continue to reply and reply and reply - nothing to do with playing it cool, but presumably on a Monday both of ye are in work so itd just be a polite exchange of a text or two.

If becky now texts him she is going to look like she is thinking she is entitled to a date this weekend - and sorry all - but guys dont like girls presuming they are dating after one meeting and a short text exchange.

Becky - play the waiting game!!
 
I assume Becky isn't presuming they are dating, she actually needs to go on a few more dates with him to arrive at that conclusion and that is why she should text him if she is interested, how is he supposed to know her intentions if they haven't spoken and she was the one to end the exchange of texts. Call him
 
Becky, you said you really liked him.

Forget all the teenage "will I let him text me again, what will he think, what should I do" nonsense.

You're a grown adult who obviously is worried about being single at 40. Just go for it. If you have a couple of dates and decide he's not for you, no harm done.
 
Women and their games! He will probably love to hear from you. I usually like to a few texts behind me before I would ring a girl just so I know there is more than polite interest! Cowardly I know!
 
Call him and and him out for a drink with something like ' if I was to wait on you to call.....'
1. He'll (or at least should) like your spunk!
2. If he doesn't and is horrified that you might have initiated a date.. well do you wanna date a fellow like that?
3. Don't play games - if he's 40 odd he won't appreciate it..

Now, make the call...
 
Hi there becky,

It would be my opinion to text him, he has already made contact, so its not as though your stalking him ... Forget about the game to be honest and just focus on having some fun...
 
Life's too short for 'if only' so either text or ring him now and forget about as others have said 'women and their games'. Go with your gut instinct. I'm off to get me weddin' hat out of the box
 
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