Confirmation money: Should we still give €50?

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mct1

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This question has been asked before here, but not (as far as I can see) since the demise of the Celtic Tiger.

We are invited to our good friends' daughter's confirmation party next Sunday. In the days when we earned loadsa money we gave another youngster €50. Now my husband's business is making a loss, times are hard and we have to shop in Lidl :) and watch our bills.

Should we still give €50? We don't want to seem mean and we're fond of the girl. Could we give a book token instead (she loves to read) or is that frowned upon.

What have others here done please?
 
€20 is the new €50. Kids used to rake in thousands but now it is hundreds for their confirmations and communions.

Same goes for weddings, €100 is now considered generous whereas it wasn't three years ago.

Do you hear of stag parties going to Las Vegas and Amsterdam anymore? No. They are going to Westport and Ennis.

Taxi drivers don't get €5 tips anymore. Buskers rarely get €1 coins these days. Kids earn their pocket money now and get a fiver instead of twenty.

Give the child twenty quid in a card bought in the Euro 2 Shop.
 
I'd give €20

Only give €50 if you were invited to a meal for the confirmation, or if they previously gave €50 to one of your kids.
 
a Conformation is about the ceremony , not the money. That said this year we have had a Conformation and in a couple of weeks, a Communion. Hillsalt is right,€20 is the new €50 and rightly so. Our son who has made his Conformation still recieved too much money!. I think the problem people are having today is the perception their friends will have of them now. We and I include myself in this, still like to give the impression that all is still, as it was. The child wont care how much is in the card and if she does , then it say's more about her parents than you.
 
€50 is, and in my view always has been,far too much. Never given anything like that even to my Godson! ( I bought him an album he was after and put a tenner in the card)

If you feel you cannot afford much just give what you can comfortably can. The parents, if they are as good friends as you hope,will understand and the child will probably have forgotten who gave what before the day is over.

You say she likes reading...have a look in a bookshop, many now do offers on books, Buy one get one free or I have seen in local shops 3 for €25.00. You can inscribe the books with the date and your name.

Don't stress out about it or worry what others think!
 
Thanks for all the replies. I know you're right but it's still hard. The previous time when we gave €50 because we were told that was the going rate, I remember thinking at the time it was far too much for a 12 year old who isn't even a relative. €20 it is - as you say, they probably won't even notice.
 
I as a rule never give money as a present be it wedding birthday or otherwise. My nieces and nephews always come up with great ideas for things for me to buy them or I often bring them shopping for their presents bringing them for lunch or a hot chocolate too. They always appreciate it.
I think it is about the occasion and not the gift. A colleague recently for his childs birthday put on the invitation no presents just their presence please. All complied. If thinks are very tight I would just give a card to be honest.
 
Confirmation Money!

I would never give 50 to a child for confirmation. Even in the height of it, in fact never realised till now that people were giving 50 at all. I always gave a tenner, and if the child was close or family, I would buy a little present. To be expected to put 50 in a card for a child is just crazy.........

20 in a card is more than enough..........and if I was struggling like you at the minute, husbands business in loss making situation, I would not give any more than a tenner.
 
niceoneted said:
I as a rule never give money as a present be it wedding birthday or otherwise. My nieces and nephews always come up with great ideas for things for me to buy them or I often bring them shopping for their presents bringing them for lunch or a hot chocolate too. They always appreciate it.
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Great ideas.
 
mct1 said:
Could we give a book token instead (she loves to read) or is that frowned upon.
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I would give her the book token for whatever amount you decide, 20 euro at most. Fifty euro is far too much, in my opinion.
 
I'm interested in this thread as my partner's nephew is making confirmation this week - I thought for family we should give €50. Also his best friend's daughter is doing Communion this weekend and since I really don't want us to look scanty I thought we should give €50 although personally I think it's so much for a communion! My own brother is doing Communion this weekend too and like niceone rather than a present I will bring him on a day out, to a film, buy him a toy and lunch out, he loves the attention of a day out more than being handed a card with money I'm sure.
 
I got a good quality bible for God daughters communion last week, on the grounds that even if it never read it will sit on the shelf as a memento. At first I was thinking of hideing €50 between the pages, but on hindsight €20 might be better!
 
fizzelina said:
I'm interested in this thread as my partner's nephew is making confirmation this week - I thought for family we should give €50. Also his best friend's daughter is doing Communion this weekend and since I really don't want us to look scanty I thought we should give €50 although personally I think it's so much for a communion!
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I am not having a go at you personally, but I had to comment on this, because it think it's sick that a religious cermoney has turned into an orgy of money giving, and the only way it will stop is if people come to their senses.

You are willing to give €50 to an 8 year old, even though you think its too much, and maybe can't afford it ( who can), because you are afraid that you will look tight if you dont.

If your friends are the sort that will think you tight for not giving their child 50 quid, then they are not very nice people and not really very good friends.

I know that sounds harsh, because I'm sure its not true, so why are giving into some pressure you feel to keep the communion money-go-round going.

As I say, this is not about you, a lot of people feel the pressure that you feel, but can we not all get a grip and be a bit more sensible about it.
 
huskerdu said:
I know that sounds harsh, because I'm sure its not true, so why are giving into some pressure you feel to keep the communion money-go-round going.
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Yes you're right it's not true. The harsh comment is fine since I agree with you and many others would. It should be religious, but then so should weddings if you ask me and plenty of people lose sight of that when they plan their big day. I keep the communion money go-round going because how can one person stop it? Personally I remember getting a sum of money for my communion and my Mum telling me to write a note and give back half it to the giver as she felt it was way over generous to give! Also for my younger brother's birthday she always states no presents and only a donation if wished to Down Syndrome Ireland. But like I say, what I personally do is not going to stop the culture of communion / confirmation money giving.
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fizzelina said:
what I personally do is not going to stop the culture of communion / confirmation money giving.
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Actually, it is. By giving less, you are changing the culture just a little bit.
The more people that stop giving too much money, the more the culture changes.
 
50 for a communion

To even consider giving a seven or 8 year old 50 is just ridiculous.

Too hard earned in this day and age.........................would rather give it to a needy charity.
 
My daughter appreciated the gifts more than the cash. By gifts I don't mean expensive stuff, but the themed communion pens, watches, photo albums etc you can buy now.
 
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