Childminder lost temper

it does boost my ego when i think of my children yes.Chisslers get influence from adults and other children alike throughout their lives.The biggest influence on a child will be good parents.When children get involved in crime,robbing joyriding drugs,we are all quick to blame bad parents.Likewise when children are good we credit a good upbringing.I would like to think i am a positive influence on my children and that they are benefiting from being raised at home by their mother the majority of the time.If someone refers to a child as a brat,is there a reason for it.People always say "not my child,they wouldnt do that"but if your not there how can you know.
 
ney001 said:
Smug and out of date comment particularly in the context of the times were find ourselves in, where people cannot afford not to work. Re OP, I am usually fairly black and white about most issues, if there is a doubt or a breakdown of trust then they must go, you will always be wondering if she is losing her temper with the kids and quite frankly given that she has monthly problems she will lose her temper again. If it were me, I would get rid, have enough of my own problems to deal with without taking on babysitter issues.
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Have you ever thought with the spiralling crime rate and children recieving asbos,under age drinking and preteen pregnancies,gangs of out of control teens terrorising neighbourhoods that maybe the smug out of date parenting was the best way.
 
I wonder if we (parents) should apply higher standards to our childminders than we do ourselves?

Would I be in danger of verbally (not physically) losing it with my kids if I was sick and they were grouchy and difficult ( and I didn't realise they were sick too)?

Would I be in danger of shouting...Yes
Waving a finger, maybe a fist (I don't hit my kids but I do wave things)

My kids are in school here in France.
The teachers are MUCH tougher on the kids than the equivalent in Ireland.
The kids are MUCH more controlled and obedient.
Ergo, the teachers and the kids have ALOT more freedom.

The kids have gone on lots of day trips to the city (30 X 5yos)
This friday my sons class of 5 yos are cycling 9 miles to the local lake with the teacher and some volunteer parents. This type of thing is done all the time.

Because they have control.
No way could the equivalent irish class of junior infants do this...in my opinion.

We have sort of lost it I think, being too soft on our kids and abandoning good discipline.
 
Mommah - couldnt agree more... Children and us parents have lost the run of ourseleves.
To the original poster - if it wasnt a regular occurence I would put it down to a bad day and move on...
 
sparkeee said:
Have you ever thought with the spiralling crime rate and children recieving asbos,under age drinking and preteen pregnancies,gangs of out of control teens terrorising neighbourhoods that maybe the smug out of date parenting was the best way.
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No I have not thought that!. I have thought that single, gay, married, working, unemployed doesn't matter what your circumstances are, as a parent you should be vigilant and aware of your parental responsibilities even if that includes hiring somebody to watch your children. In my experience gangs, binge drinking etc happens at the weekends/evenings i.e Friday & Saturday nights - presumably when both parents are home!.

Smug and out of date yes!
 
sparkeee said:
Have you ever thought with the spiralling crime rate and children recieving asbos,under age drinking and preteen pregnancies,gangs of out of control teens terrorising neighbourhoods that maybe the smug out of date parenting was the best way.
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The kids next door to me were brought up by a stay at home mother and were the biggest brats on the road. Now, as young adults, they are still causing chaos everytime they get the house to themselves. The quality of the parents has a lot to do with how the children turn out, and staying at home does not automatically make you a wonderful mother.
 
sparkeee said:
my mother stayed at home and looked after us,my father worked hard and provided,we formed a wonderful bond.Is this valueless nowadays,the reason we have children is to raise them in our mould or likeness,giving them to others to raise while we are out all day working is not a good example in my mind.Who knows what ethics or opinions are being formed in a childs mind.Children form their personalities from the people around them,a nanny shaking a fist will form an unwanted trait.Best to raise them personally the old fashioned out of date way.
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My mother stayed at home and looked after us, and my father worked hard and provided; yet I have a much stronger bond with my father than with my mother. I believe my mother suffered from being in the home, she didn't enjoy it, and we children suffered as a result.
I have an incredibly strong bond with my child even though I work full-time. Children will form the correct ethics and opinions as long as the lines of communication with their parents remain open, and that's not dependent on being at home 24-7.
 
Mel said:
My mother stayed at home and looked after us, and my father worked hard and provided; yet I have a much stronger bond with my father than with my mother. I believe my mother suffered from being in the home, she didn't enjoy it, and we children suffered as a result.
I have an incredibly strong bond with my child even though I work full-time. Children will form the correct ethics and opinions as long as the lines of communication with their parents remain open, and that's not dependent on being at home 24-7.
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well said! :)
 
ney001 said:
No I have not thought that!. I have thought that single, gay, married, working, unemployed doesn't matter what your circumstances are, as a parent you should be vigilant and aware of your parental responsibilities even if that includes hiring somebody to watch your children. In my experience gangs, binge drinking etc happens at the weekends/evenings i.e Friday & Saturday nights - presumably when both parents are home!.

Smug and out of date yes!
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A lot of parents have these presumptions,some get the shock of their lives.
 
Mel said:
My mother stayed at home and looked after us, and my father worked hard and provided; yet I have a much stronger bond with my father than with my mother. I believe my mother suffered from being in the home, she didn't enjoy it, and we children suffered as a result.
I have an incredibly strong bond with my child even though I work full-time. Children will form the correct ethics and opinions as long as the lines of communication with their parents remain open, and that's not dependent on being at home 24-7.
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Thats sad.i still think parents are best at raising their own children.I dont feel it right that couples marry and then elect to have children and then give the child over to a stranger to raise.Do these children form strong emotional bonds with the childminders,i'm sure they do,when the minder is terminated it must be heart wrenching for the little ones.
 
Purple said:
I’m not trying to say that staying at home to mind your kids is not important or rewarding or even difficult at times but it’s much, much easier than working full time and doing all the other stuff as well.
Lets not lose the run of ourselves here.
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I think a lot of people would disagree with this statement.....a lot of women see work as a break. They get to dress up for the office, go out for lunch, attend meetings etc. Staying home with children(esp when they are young) is tough.....I certainly would not say that its much much easier !
 
ice said:
I think a lot of people would disagree with this statement.....a lot of women see work as a break. They get to dress up for the office, go out for lunch, attend meetings etc. !
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But then they get to rush home, panicing that they'll be late and have to pay the creche extra, grab some shopping at the supermarket, tidy up the house (that they had to rush out of that morning without getting time to clear up breakfast things, pick up towels off the floor etc), get the dinner on, check homework, deal with tired, tantrum throwing todder, all in the space of a couple of hours.
 
ice said:
I think a lot of people would disagree with this statement.....a lot of women see work as a break. They get to dress up for the office, go out for lunch, attend meetings etc. Staying home with children(esp when they are young) is tough.....I certainly would not say that its much much easier !
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In much the same way as men think of work as a break from the house, kids and wife, I suppose? Cause they also get to 'dress up', go out for lunch and have meetings ( lucky devils).:rolleyes:
 
liaconn said:
But then they get to rush home, panicing that they'll be late and have to pay the creche extra, grab some shopping at the supermarket, tidy up the house (that they had to rush out of that morning without getting time to clear up breakfast things, pick up towels off the floor etc), get the dinner on, check homework, deal with tired, tantrum throwing todder, all in the space of a couple of hours.
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I have done both and find being at home a harder job....however each persons circumstances are different and its hard to define one as more difficult then the other. It depends on your personality, how many childern you have, what support you have, how stressful your job is etc etc...There are pros and cons to both.

Back the the original post.....Its hard to hand over the care of your child to someone else - even a close family memeber would do things differently then you would perhaps like. Talk to your childminder - her reaction will tell you a lot.
 
not saying anything against your kids,i have 2 and know how they can be.kids dont always act like angels as im sure yours dont also.they also bend the truth.
Have you sat your child minder down and spoken to her in a calm manner.? seems like you have had your fare share of minders.so maybe your little kids need a lesson in dicipline ? i am a single mom also and kids will be kids.its a part of growing up.

if you get another mined you need to screen the minder check cv and referances.
 
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