Ok, totally understand where you are coming from now, but sweet This post will be deleted if not edited immediately 20K? Thats nuts! Pls tell me you are joking, there is no way you want to spend 20grand on the big day? i only ask, cos we did it a few yrs ago abroad, and no way did we spend anything near that money. We were in practially the same boat as youare now, trying to pay off debts, trying to save for a mortgage and trying to save for a wedding. We also had a child 3 at the time, we wanted more children, but things were so up in the air at the time, we couldnt contemplate it. Anyway, we decide to get married abroad, we paid about 4500 in total, with a gift of 1000 on cash. That was punts. Then we changed the tax credits etc, spent 12months getting our bits in order and borrowed the dopsit for a house ( about 12k). We have 2 more girls since then. Anyway, nothing to do with the inital debate, but your story rang a few bells with me. i hope you dont mind me putting in my tuppenceworth. 20k? christ, im weak even thinking about it!!!