Child Maintenance

Ann I'm delighted that mediation worked for you. Sometimes the threat of court is enough to get someone to understand how seriously you feel they need to take their responsibilities.

I would suggest that if you have a court date that you still turn up on the day and arrange for the judget "rubber stamp" your agreement.

Hopefully the mediation will set good foundations for you and your child's future.

I'd be interested to learn if the amount of maintenance was eventually increased but I understand if you feel this is private.

Hi Greenqueen,

When i originally started this thread, the father was paying half her creche @ 92 euro a week but not putting anything towards the rest of her costs. I was footing the bill for everything outside of childcare as he never bought clothes/ shoes/ toys etc but following a run through of our costs and incomes, he in now paying 500 eure per month which works out at 33 eure per week outside of childcare.
He is now also paying back for the months that he paid nothing also.
This may or may not seem like alot but in our circumstances, it's fair. I match his amount in maintence also every week. That is all i want, her childcare costs will go up in September and there is a clause that he is to match half of that when it does (and obviously visa versa when it goes down again).

I hope this is of benefit to anyone in a similar boat....

Hey Ann84, you sound so much better/happier than previous. I, for one, am delighted for you and your little girl. And if I am to be completely honest, your little girls Dad doesn't sound so bad. Unfortunately, not all fathers will attend mediation but I would second that it is the best road to go if a person can at all. I wish you and yours all the best for the future. Carrielou

Hi I just discovered this website & it seems to be the only one which is actually of help to me.
I am a lone parent of 3 & I'm in a new relationship for the past 4 years.We do not live together. We are now 31 weeks pregnant & it has been a very special & happy time for us until 2 weeks ago when I visited my Community Welfare Officer to apply for rent allowance. I have been paying full rent myself of €350 per month for almost a year now. Anyhow the cwo remarked 'oh your pregnant' I said yes & she replied 'oh well as soon as 'that' baby is born I will be deducting your rent allowance IF I decide to grant it to you. She then went on to say that my partner will have to pay me maintenence & it has to be an agreeable amount to her depending on his wages. She also mentioned my bring my partner/boyfriend to court if he doesn't come up with a suitable amount! My health has deteriorated since that day both physically & mentally. I have been ill any day that I have spoken with her & my days are tormented with worry.
My boyfriend is the best & treats my other 3 kids like his own. So far he is the one who has bought everything for our baby (who is due in march) as all of my money goes for rent. He also drives me everywhere as I live in the countryside & don't drive. He has no problem paying maintenence when baby is born but we are both very worried as to how much is involved. My boyfriend works & I do not know his salary nor would I ever ask. He has a lot of outgoings & we both agreed that €30 per week would be fine. It kills me to ask him or take anything of him because he already does so much for us :-( Does anybody know if the Social Protection will accept this amount or what the future may hold for me. I feel really low & my days are taken over with worry as already it is hard to manage on the income I get without facing deductions when baby is born. Long post I know but I wanted to give as much info as possible.

Depending on his income, they might question the amount. €30 a week is very low.

I think you need to ask him his income, and come to a fairer amount than €30. After 4 years together he should be ok with disclosing this information to you. Have SW sought maintenance from the father of your older children also? It would seem unfair that they are only targeting your current partner.

It is unusual, normally at this juncture in your relationship, the partners would be seeking to form a family with all that entails, a shared home, shared responsibility for the baby etc. There is probably a lot more to this story than you can, or indeed should tell here, but I think you need to get this man to step up to his responsibilities a bit more.