Changing your surname after getting married - why?

I will definitely be changing my name when I marry, I'm lucky that I like my boyfriends surname. I like the idea of becoming mr's x when I marry, but I don't think there's anything wrong with not changing. Personally I like the idea of my children, myself and my future husband all having the same surname. My nickname comes from my surname so I could see that causing some confusion down the line when I meet new people after getting married! And I have a brother to carry on the name, I'm not sure how I'd feel if I only had sisters and we all took married names. I have a sneaking suspicion I wouldn't like the surname not to be carried on.
 
I wouldn't change my name as I feel i have worked hard in my career and wonder if I changed my name would anyone know who I was and also because I don't think my name goes very well with my partner's name ! I also hate the double barrelled names Sarah Doyle O'Brien etc its cr*p and pretentious !
 
What do people think of the idea of a woman being married, not changing her own name and the children having her name instead of their father's?
I personally like this idea but anytime I've ever mentioned it to male friends, they've been horrified. I know traditionally it was a way to stamp paternity on your children but these days plenty of unmarried fathers have children with their partner's surname.
 
Personally I don't unterstand why someone would change their name when married. It's like saying you now belong to that person. My mother married in the 70's and kept her maiden name. I can remember one particular teacher saying to me that he would only accept notes from my mother - think he was quite embarrassed when I pointed out that the note was from my mother. I was given my father's surname but my parents told me I could change it if I wanted too.
 
When I didnt change my name I was most surprised by friends my own age, having issues with it. My in-laws, husband and my parents didnt mind either way.

One female friend said to me, when I informed her that I was sticking with my maiden name, "..but who will I send the christmas card to?" to which I said "the same person as last year?"
 
I always assumed I would if/when I get married for tradition etc..(plus, like others have said, I've brothers to keep the family name going)....the only thing is that my (potential/probable) MIL and I share the same name, so if we do marry and I take his name, I literally become his mother!!

I imagine I'll keep my name for work but otherwise change our mortgage/joint accounts into his name and change passport/drivers licence etc..as they come up. If we're lucky enough to have kids, I'd rather travel on a passport with the same name as the kids, in case hes not with me - I've heard it can be a nightmare otherwise ('prove their yours etc..)..
 
Phibbleberry said:
If we're lucky enough to have kids, I'd rather travel on a passport with the same name as the kids, in case hes not with me - I've heard it can be a nightmare otherwise ('prove their yours etc..)..
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Have been married for 11 years eldest child 10 and both of us with different surnames and I have never been stopped at the airport, passport control etc.,
 
Apparently in the US, the trend is now to merge both names...ie Brennan & Dunne could be Dunnan or Brunne. Jones & Kelly could be Jelly or Jolly etc. :)
 
Pique318 said:
Apparently in the US, the trend is now to merge both names...ie Brennan & Dunne could be Dunnan or Brunne. Jones & Kelly could be Jelly or Jolly etc. :)
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So are both parties changing their names then?
Must get complicated for people doing family trees etc...
 
Although i like the idea of becoming Mrs 'X ', i love my surname its extremely rare, i called my child double barrelled name and i have a few friends that did the same, as in the child was registerred double name but after years and after they got married on his rolla is school he is called the family name, he goes by the family name and is only double on legal documents/ passports etc. Works for them!

i think u spend more of your life(depending on the length of your marriage :) )in your married name, so if my surname wasnt so unusual i would def change to his name.
 
Women should only change their name if their husband tells them to...;)
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(he ducks for cover)
 
Purple said:
Women should only change their name if their husband tells them to...;)
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(he ducks for cover)
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Agreed. It all started going wrong when we gave them the vote.

(Safe in the knowledge that Mrs. F. doesn't frequent Askaboutmoney.)
 
To answer the original question

Reasons for changing your name when you get married

1) Tradition - Some people love tradition, never been much of a fan of it myself

2) Its easier if the family all have the same name - True, but plenty of families seem to survive without this convenience

3) Its "Romantic" according to some women I know, which is just puke inducing.

Reasons for NOT changing your name

1) Its my name, why should I change it ?

2) It might really annoy your parents and in-laws, which is always entertaining.

3) Marks you out as someone with strong opinions who thinks that
traditions such as this one should be buried ( or a stroppy lippy
bint who will never do what she is told), which is the best reason of all.
 
huskerdu said:
To answer the original question

Reasons for changing your name when you get married

1) Tradition - Some people love tradition, never been much of a fan of it myself

2) Its easier if the family all have the same name - True, but plenty of families seem to survive without this convenience

3) Its "Romantic" according to some women I know, which is just puke inducing.

Reasons for NOT changing your name

1) Its my name, why should I change it ?

2) It might really annoy your parents and in-laws, which is always entertaining.

3) Marks you out as someone with strong opinions who thinks that
traditions such as this one should be buried ( or a stroppy lippy
bint who will never do what she is told), which is the best reason of all.
Click to expand...
Are you married?
 
huskerdu said:
To answer the original question

3) Marks you out as someone with strong opinions who thinks that
traditions such as this one should be buried ( or a stroppy lippy
bint who will never do what she is told), which is the best reason of all.
Click to expand...

Okay, I'm not married so maybe not really entitled to have an opinion on this. But I'm sticking my tupence in anyway.

IF I was in a profession that I'd worked to build up a name then I would keep my name, or at least in a professional capacity. However, my first preference would be to have the same name as the rest of my family going forward.

I have strong opinions - My personality/identity stands out on it's own without feeling a reliance on a name. I think things would be easier if we shared a name - particularly if children were involved.

On the other hand, if someone wants to keep their name - they can knock themselves out. Makes absolutly no difference to me.
 
I'm definitely going to change my name when I get married! I can't wait to get married and the old romantic in me can't wait to have the same name as my hubby, and hopefully any children we have in the future. I just think it makes it more evident to people that we are a family, our own happy little unit. I just think of it as a nice tradition and part and parcel of the whole of ideal of being married to someone.

If he had a really horrible name though I wouldn't take it :p

I know that some women are appalled at the thought of changing ones name but I really am always at a loss as to why people get so hot under the collar about it. As far as I am concerned a name is just a name. My last name is most certainly not my identity. I will not change in any way as a person when I get married. The person that I am, my personality, things that I have achieved, things I strive to achieve...all these things make up my identity.
I think the idea that if you change your name the man in some way owns you/has power over you is a completely rediculous, I mean seriously, who would marry a man like this in the first place!
 
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