Are there couples who decided not to have kids?

ailbhe said:
I detest when people say to our daughter "Mammy and Daddy will have to get you a brother or sister". Grrrrrrr.... She is 5 and (she thinks) she wants a sister/brother. It is cruel to put such a statement on the shoulders of a child and then me who has to explain why we are not getting a baby.
Click to expand...

Well said! Couldn't agree more. And we have 2 kids!
 
"Are there couples who decided not to have kids?"

Yes. And its no business of anyone else ?
 
If asked why you don't want children, you can always reply "I was worried they'd turn out like yours". That might shut them up.
 
Seagull said:
If asked why you don't want children, you can always reply "I was worried they'd turn out like yours". That might shut them up.
Click to expand...


How about, "I'd be afraid that they would not be able to mind their own business and ask inappropriate questions."
 
I find if you say that you don't mind whether you have kids or not, the (noseyparker) questioner goes all 'suprised' and starts going on about leaving it too late etc.

I didn't meet my husband till I was 31, 35 now and no family (we are trying). My neighbour, who is 34 and has been with her partner 10 yrs, has asked me twice. She even told me that she knows women who have great careers etc, and 'left it too late', and now can't get pregnant at 36.

I already feel a bit bitter, that it took me so long to meet my husband, when other people got their partners so much younger.

She is expecting her second now, and I know she will ask questions again. I feel like saying that 'we can't all be greedy guts, with 2 kids. we can't all have everything.

I think if you tell people that is a very personal question & that you don't like talking about it, this might shut them up.

I wouldnt' mind so much if the people asking really cared about you. Some of the people asking don't care if you have problems trying to concieve, they just want to get news out of you. If you said to them that 'some people (meaning the questioner)dont really care about us, but just want to get news, so I'm not discussing it'. This will give them the hint that they are too newsy.
 
I have 2 good female friends. One is on her third round of IVF and the other and her hubby have decided not to have kids. The thing that amazes me is that they are never allowed to give one line answers. The "We're trying" gets really intrusive questioning about what she's done and what she should do. The "No kids planned" gets lectures about regretting it eventhough she and her husband are intelligent people who have thought very carefully about their decision.
I have 2 and 3/4 children and both friends are really good about me being a baby bore (within reason) and I try not to get too jealous about their dinners out and numerous foreign holidays.
 
The thing is that we don't even go on lots of foreign hols & dinners out. It is annoying having no kids and having little hols/dinners out. I wouldnt mind staying in and no hols if I had kids. My husband doesn't really like going on hols, and I have to drag him off for a city break each year. We only go out for dinner on birthdays. My husband also doesnt like going to pubs cos of the drink driving, even though I don't really drink & I offer to drive.

However, my so called friends with children, had the cheek to get jealous when I bought a span new 1.4 litre saloon car last year. It was a treat to myself, as I dont go out socially & I spend very little on hols/dinners out. They sounded really jealous and begrudging when they were admiring it. It is like as if they want me to have no social life, no kids and no nice car.
 
Maybe you've reached the point where you shouldn't bother thinking about what they think . . .it sounds like a waste of time and pretty annoying too.
 
buzybee said:
However, my so called friends with children, had the cheek to get jealous when I bought a span new 1.4 litre saloon car last year. It was a treat to myself, as I dont go out socially & I spend very little on hols/dinners out. They sounded really jealous and begrudging when they were admiring it. It is like as if they want me to have no social life, no kids and no nice car.
Click to expand...
Sounds paranoid to me.
 
I've had a different but similar problem. Having suffered from a medical condition which meant my stomach became quite swollen, I just could not believe the number of people I hardly knew who asked me straight out if I was pregnant. Their obvious embarassment afterwards when I replied that I wasn't was just as mortifying. Please don't ever ask anyone this question, unless they're going into labour in front of you. It is sooooooo distressing and embarassing.
 
Sounds like you need a new Husband Budybee, not kids.
BTW, why don't you have any?:p
 
Sound like you need a new attitude. Did anyone ever tell you about bullying?? Being immature? BTW hope everything stays fine for you:D and that you get what you deserve
 
My boyfriend and I have been together for eight years. Not only do we not want children but we're not interested in getting married either. When either subject comes up (for example we visited Las Vegas recently and lots of people asked if we were getting married) most people hardly react - but some people are really taken aback and try to persuade me otherwise.

Previously I've tried to explain my reasons but often my explanations have made them defensive, like I'm insulting their decisions in some way, even when I explain that we're not against having children and marriage per se, it's just not for us. I tend to laugh it off now or change the subject.
 
Caveat said:
I would be great if that was the end of it - but it often isn't - next question is often "why not?"
Click to expand...

I just answer "because there's already too many people in the world".

The look of confusion/anger on their face is worth it...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top