always skint at end of the Month

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forgot to say we do have dogs and spend about 160 a month on them for their food, we normally would buy a few chickens a week for them and dog nuts. as the dogs always leave dog food from tins after them and i would prefer them to eat freshly cooked meat anyway...
 
god lot of money on petrol there. lots of ways to easily cut back. just buy essentials in the shopping to to places like aldi and lidl they save a few quid. life insurance i got my life insurance from www.mylife.ie and it worked out at 150 for the whole year. mayb you should do an online quote.
electricity wise always turn lights off after you. just cut back on the luxurys for a while itll be hard but if it gets you out of this hole its worth it.
 
Who pays for the dog food and the chickens? €160 a month sounds very expense as well, would suggest feeding them your dinner left overs and potato skins, when they get hungry enough they'll go for them.

TBH it seems like ye have lots of items that sound way above what I would expect to hear people spending on same; namely the holiday fund, the dog food, the public transport, the petrol (would you mind me asking what type of car and size engine it is?).

Coupled with that, TBH your wife is taking the proverbial and using you like a doormat. Im not trying to offend but people constantly (you have mentioned "it being going on like this for the last few years") taking others for granted really gets on my goat.....
 
Hi soldier,

its not that we are in a hole we have only a small amount of debt and that will be cleared shortly, but its just that as soon as we clear one debt another debt pops up and then the whole charade begins again.

i think what iwant is to be in a position where we both contribute and the contributions are reliable from both of us.

its just that we seem to be firefighting bills all the time and that is serious hassle. i would prefer a situation where there is money in the bank and if we need something that we save up for it and not just put it on the cards and pay for it over a few months.

however when we do clear loans any extra cash never materialises and hence the dilemma.
It seems the more we earn the more that is spent and this is going on for a long time.
the OH attitude is if she needs more money she will just go out and earn more through contract work and she often does this when things are getting out of control.

I think our attitudes are different towards money, The OH is working on career advancement and when finished her courses will be pulling in a lot more moneyat least 70k, and she can do private work as well. its just that she seems to spend this before she gets onto that step of thwe ladder.

Whereas i have the attitude that we should/could survive on what we earn now, no bother and that if we do have kids that we can cut back on certain areas to afford it...

I suppose i just want to get to a level of not stressing over this and that any money issues are a shared burden.
 
Hi NatNif

The problem seems to be with your relationship, as opposed to spending problems. If your OH doesn't take your desire to resolve your financial situation on a more longterm basis seriously, there is no money advice anyone here can give you that'll help!

You have a healthy income, and there's no real excuse for you to be just breaking even when you should be making your money work for you! The fact that you don't have a pension, amongst other issues you raised, needs to be addressed sooner as opposed to later!

Maybe you need to just sit her down and explain how important this is to you. If she realises that this is really stressing you out, then she may listen to you as opposed to feeling like you nag her. Failing that, I would advise that you stop subsidising her lifestyle and let that action get her attention! It may be harsh, but if this pattern continues, you could find yourself in a bad debt situation.
 
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NatNif said:
forgot to say we do have dogs and spend about 160 a month on them for their food, we normally would buy a few chickens a week for them and dog nuts. as the dogs always leave dog food from tins after them and i would prefer them to eat freshly cooked meat anyway...
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The dogs are better fed than some families are!! Go to the butchers and asked for scraps and bones, boil them up at home the dogs will love them
 
I have tried to broach this subject many times with OH but its always ends badly and achieves nothing.
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Why is this? What are you suggesting to her and what exactly is her reaction?

but when we got clear the OH wanted independence again and then it being going on like this for the last few years.
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even tried to get her to get receipts for everything and then i would do it for her but then she would have no privacy...
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Is the independence and privacy an issue for her? she obviously has a completely different approach to cash in any case. Personally I think that trying to force her to manage her money your way could be impossible.

Should you consider having totally separate finances but coming to an agreement in terms of savings and contributions from her which is acceptable to both of ye? Can you set up some way of her managing her own debt whatever way she wants and not allowing it to interfere with you?

Possible scenario - she does her own spending and you control everything else. She sets up a standing order which contributes to you what you require to service the bills regularly and perhaps to save for the future. As larger expenditures come up like holidays - she should stump up her contribution or else ye are not going. Refuse to take out loans for other expenses - wait until the savings are there. If she does want it now - she can take out her own loan in her own name, contribute her half to you and deal with the debt herself.

Her own debts may spiral completely out of control but maybe thats what it takes for her to take more responsibility for paying them.
 
The dogs will eat the nuts when they're hungry enough. redmils dog food lasts our dog for a month when mixed with scraps ( pasta/potatoes/rice/meat e.t.c. and costs 25 euro for 15kgs. redmills is a very good brand of dog food.
160 euro is pardon the pun "nuts"
 
Yeah I reckon we can cut back on certain items including the dog food.

I do try to speak to the OH about it often and i get assurances that she will send on cash to me every month then does it for a month or two but it eventually stops and is very inconsistent.
She then seems to live very frugally for a month or two but then ends up on a splurge. and then we are back to square one.

As i said i have tried seperate accounts and with the OH transferring money to the joint account to cover bills but this works only briefly before reverting back to smaller sums or none at all...

i would like a consistent cashflow as that would be the best way to budget for both of us...
 
Why dont you get a standing order or direct debit set up? Get the one thats most difficult to cancel so she might just not be bothered. Better still get the bank to set one up where both parties must sign to start it and sign to stop if, if this is possible. You are heading down legal routes at this stage though....
 
160 euro a month on dog food is crazy... we fostered our parents dog as she was a bit too much for them. They had only fed her on the best of meats and boiled chickens... when we got her we grandually switched her to dry food and she is perfectly happy on it now..
 
Natnif
This is starting to sound ridiculous. You've tried talking to her, works for a while, the she doesn't bother anymore etc etc relying on her to transfer money instead of setting up a regular standing order. What kind of advice are you looking for here? How to survive being married to a golddigger?
A
 
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