2 mortgages in arrears, separated, what should I do?

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Bard123

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I am recently separated from husband (abusive relationship) have 4 small kids, have 2 mortgages in joint names both of which in arrears and both on reduced payments. Family home has 385k (had been building it for last 7 years) other house which we lived in upto 2 years ago and tried to sell just as bubble burst 285k. Am getting mortgage interest supplement of 91.40 per wk and paying lender 500 pm on family home, other property rented out and paying 400 pm to other lender.I am getting maintenance from ex, but know that I will never be able to pay back mortgage on family home. If I moved back into rented prop (my parents said they would move in with me and help with mortgage) I may just be able to manage interest only pyts. I really dont know what to do? Ex wants to hand back keys on both (he has severe mental health probs and does not want the stress or hassle).Should i wait for repossession? Both properties are in negative equity. If lender repossessed family home could they apply charge for any monies owed to other property if i moved back there. I dont know where to turn to, am having to deal with it on my own as ex doesnt want to know, am making myself sick with worry
 
You, I and so many others.

You and your children have health. That is priceless.

I would simply meet with the bank, follow up with a letter but do not hand back the keys without professional advice.

There is also new legislation due regarding personal onsolvency so hopefully that will be an improvement on the current mess.

We have an excellent socail welfare system so you and the kids will be ok. The state will reward you much better if you put your hand out for help, rather than battling for a solution.

You need to manage the worry, talk to somebody. I have developed a stress related illness with physical side effects that will be with me for the rest of my life, due to worrying about mortgage loans.

The worry did not make the loan go away but it did make me ill.

If the bank start to send you threathing letters, I would contact New Beginings, but for now focus on caring for your kids.

People are close to the edge and close to cracking. Suicide has been an option for some but there are others who will explode in rage. It will probably take some unfortunate individual to be killed accidently by a stressed out debtor for big bankers and goverment to realise the scale and consequences for all of society.

The real moral hazard is push people to the edge and think there will be no reaction. I have heard of one case where a distressed borrower brought a 5 gallon gerrycan of petrol to a meeting in a bank hidden in a suitcase. His solution was to burn himself and the bankers alive in the bank. Thankfully he changed his mind as the bank as the bank were accepting the reality of his inability to pay.
 
Hi Bard123
Really sorry to hear about your situation, unfortunately there are more and more people finding themselves in similar situations. The first thing you need to do is try and arrange to meet with MABs or the citizen advice bureau and explain your situation to them and get them to help you. You definitely need a third party to try and help you out here. A problem shared is a problem halved and it will be the first step in trying to see what your options are. You shouldn't have to go through this on your own and get yourself even more stressed out because you don't appear to have a huge level of human support right now. They will be used to dealing with situations like yours and are best placed to advice you/help you in dealing with your bank and also making you aware of whatever welfare entitlements are available to to you.
 
Hi, thanks for replies. Have already been to MABs 3 times, told me to just continue paying what I am and to tread water like everyone else is doing, but I am not treading water, I am drowning.The house I am living in isnt even finished, there is no insulation, kids are walking around on concrete floors, there is no groundwork done. I even met up with my local TD and explained my situation, he promised to get back to me, but never did. The community welfare officer told me that as soon as inspectors find out that I will not be able to make full payments on mortgage they will stop my mortgage interest supplement. My G.P has put me on anti-depressants now. My ex said hand back keys and get a nice house from the social, this will absolve him of any responsibilty for his 4 kids. My parents are elderly and living off their pension and trying to help out when they can. There is no one else to turn to. Letters from the banks becoming more demanding, dont know where to go from here.
 
No such thing as "handing back the keys", your ex-husband is fooling himself if he thinks that will remove the issue. The mortgages are recourse loans and you are both jointly and severally liable for the full amount. What I am trying to say, is that he is sticking his head in the sand but the problem will not disappear. That doesn't help you as you are not sticking your head in the sand. I think it might be a worthwhile exercise for you to fill out the money makeover and post there, it would perhaps help with sorting out your budget and start giving you back some control over your finances.

Have you spoken with your lenders? Is the amount you are paying an amount you agreed with them or have you unilaterally reduced it to suit your changed means? Have you looked at the MARP process?

Your current home sounds like it may not be liveable without quite a bit of work, is this the case? How have you been managing to live there for the last two years? Unfortunately it makes it harder for you to set up home once again in your cheaper rental property as you cannot rent out the current family home instead. This is not going to be a short fix, this may take quite some time for you to put right but start with filling out the money makeover, it will help to spell it out in detail and there may be some more practical suggestions that might be sparked by it.
 
Socrates post seemed harsher than intended in his first sentence.
Whist technically he's correct in that ,yes, you are liable for the debt it is most unlikely that the lender will take heavy action.Indeed, the courts will not allow that.

The banks do not want your properties. They do not want to evict you. They will allow you possession of your home for years if they see some money coming it. And even if they see nothing it'll take a long time before the courts will do anything.

And, even then, the courts will not allow an eviction in your circumstances unless they are satisified that proper alternative accommodation has been found for you.

The banks are sending letters every day. They are almost automatic. It's not personal . They shouldn't be bothering you so much and have been told by the aurhorities to stop constant harrasment. The sad fact is that good honest people in a vulnerable position like you are more easily intimidated by bullies ,like the banks, than you should be. Artemis's post has some wise words on not worrying (Easily said than done ,I know).

As we don't know details of each property or the loans it's difficult to advise -but if the rented property is better/warmer for the kids -and your kind parents are willing to move in, it does seem a better plan than trying to hold on to both properties ,unless the banks make a very good deal ( i.e. payment free period, followed by 3 years interest only etc ).

Please keep us informed and maybe other posters may have some good ideas.

..and go easy on those anti-depressants.
 
Yes, thanks oldnick, I wasn't trying to be harsh to the OP, merely to point out that her ex-husband's attitude is futile and that eventually he will have to face up to his responsibilty in this.
 
If the house you are living in is not up to scratch then move into the other property and make that your family home and apply for mortgage interest supplement on that instead. Discontinue paying on the new built property and pay as much as you can on the house you are living in. Contact someone like new beginnings to get proper advice about what to do. They are unlikely to go evict you from the property you are living in particularly if you are making as much of the payment as you can. Put in writing to the banks what you are doing and then dont get stressed about any letters they write.
 
Many thanks for your replies. I managed to get through to New Beginnings today, but they can only offer advice or representation if you have received notice that the banks intend to take you to court to repossess your home. Do I just sit it out now and wait for the inevitable to happen? Does anyone know if there is any other company out there that can give me some free advice about what I should do? Waiting for the post to arrive everyday is making me ill. Thanks
 
I don't think you should get your parents involved, it only makes things more messy. If the letters from the bank are distressing you then you need to write to the bank and tell them so.

If your ex has mental health issues there is probably no point in involving him, in any case it sounds like he has reached a decision in his head that he is going to ignore the bank.

The house you are living in sounds uninhabitable and the other house has a lower mortgage, I'd move into that and tell the bank you cannot afford to pay for the new house mortgage and let them decide what they want to do. One day soon the banks are going to have to make decisions on what to do with people in your situation. But remember even if you lose both houses you will be housed by social welfare.

As you have not given facts and figures it's is impossible to give you better advice.
 
If you are still building your home, has there been any deeds made yet?

if its not signed off and no deeds given to the bank, can the bank do anything with the property?
 
Hi, family home mortgage with PTSB 385k int only pyts about 1800 pm, rental prop with BOS certus 285k int only pyts 854 pm. Receiving 350 wk maintenance 86.40 pw in mortgage interest supp (has been cust by 6 a week)and 700 mth rent. Paying PTSB 500 and BOS 400 monthly plus paying 300 per month in life insurance between both properties (prob quite high due to ex's mental health) With the maintenance I get and the rental income whichever way I add up things I wont ever be able to pay family home. Bluemac, we are living in house for last 2 years didnt have the money to put in flooring, insulation and do groundwork, as far as i know it has been signed off.
 
Income

Maintenance 1500
Rent 700
Mortgage supplement 372

Total 2572

Outgoings
Mortgage 1 1800 or are you paying 500
Mortgage 2 854 or are you paying 400
Insurance 300

Can you confirm the figures please. Also what are your mortgage terms, rate of interest and what has the bank done about the arrears? Any other debt or major outgoings.
 
Hi Bronte, 385k - PTSB over 23 yrs rate 5.8% paying 500 pm, BOS Certus - 285 k 23 yrs left as well 3.9% paying 400 pm. Dont know what bank have done about arrears I am assuming that they added to balance of mortgage, have private health care but that is going to go when up for renewal. Ex has credit card which I am paying for him 50 pm as I know that he wont pay it.Have house insurance on both houses about 150 per month, car tax and ins no other major outgoings I have no credit cards or loans, except the 4 kids!
 
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