What is it with so many couples, or one of the couple's, obsession with buying a house without thinking about the consequences of it legally, financially and emotionally? Does one half of the couple go along with it to keep the other partner happy? What percentage of these transactions ends in disarray does anyone have an idea? Or is it all boundless happiness apart from a few poor souls?
Unmarried couple buying houses
- Thread starter Bronte
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Well, I guess a lot of people go into buying a house being certain that they are with their life partner, a person they will be with forever.
They don't go into it thinking it may all go belly up and they will be left with the mess. Same as most married couples don't go into a wedding thinking about how messy a divorce will be.
If I were in a relationship and paying €1000 per month to rent a house with my OH and had the option of owning our own house for the same or less then I'd go for it.
This has only become an issue in light of the economic downturn and fall in property prices.
A friend of mine split with her OH 4 years ago, a year after buying a house. They sold it, split the profit and went their separate ways.
My ex and I split a year ago, a year after buying a house. It's been on the market since. No viewings. It's priced high but we can't afford to sell for less.
Its caused problems and hassle and it's a pain in the backside but we did what we felt was right at the time. It's just unfortunate timing.
They don't go into it thinking it may all go belly up and they will be left with the mess. Same as most married couples don't go into a wedding thinking about how messy a divorce will be.
If I were in a relationship and paying €1000 per month to rent a house with my OH and had the option of owning our own house for the same or less then I'd go for it.
This has only become an issue in light of the economic downturn and fall in property prices.
A friend of mine split with her OH 4 years ago, a year after buying a house. They sold it, split the profit and went their separate ways.
My ex and I split a year ago, a year after buying a house. It's been on the market since. No viewings. It's priced high but we can't afford to sell for less.
Its caused problems and hassle and it's a pain in the backside but we did what we felt was right at the time. It's just unfortunate timing.
truthseeker
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This question has a temporal aspect (sorry for going all star trek).
The thing is, a few years ago if a couple bought together and then broke up the house may well have gained in equity leaving everyone happy with a quick sale and money in hand to boot.
But if you break up and the house is worth less - thats when the trouble starts.
I know a few couples who took this route and my impression was that this was sort of 'pre-engagement'. Fortunately, all of them are still together, some even married since.
On the other hand, an acquaintance was in a long term relationship with two kids and a house between them, but no marriage cert. It all went belly up, his partner wanted to keep the house but couldn't afford to buy him out, he couldn't afford the rent and child support,... it all got terribly messy.
I would say that given the price of property in recent years, a lot of people just wanted to get on the property lader without even thinking what may happen. It's not only break ups that buggered people up.
On the other hand, an acquaintance was in a long term relationship with two kids and a house between them, but no marriage cert. It all went belly up, his partner wanted to keep the house but couldn't afford to buy him out, he couldn't afford the rent and child support,... it all got terribly messy.
I would say that given the price of property in recent years, a lot of people just wanted to get on the property lader without even thinking what may happen. It's not only break ups that buggered people up.
In a falling market you can't afford to wait.
Get out and deal with the losses. The longer you wiat the worse it will get.
It's a gamble but we've decided to wait for a few years if need be. Again, not ideal, but we are in agreement that we don't want to be left paying for a house that we don't own for the next 5 or 6 years.
We'd rather hold onto it as an asset and sell when we are in a position that it won't end up haunting us for the next decade.
We'd rather hold onto it as an asset and sell when we are in a position that it won't end up haunting us for the next decade.
There is really no telling when houses will be worth anything like their peak values. After the UK crash in the 90's it took 8 years for them to recover (not including inflation) and the crash here looks likely to be worse.
potnoodler
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Thats a very weird and narrow minded question to put out, many people have absolutely no desire to marry and yet are in long term, stable and loving reationships.
Marriage has been forced upon people for generations by the state, church and society. Is it surprising that some people shun it, and besides if a relationship was to break up surely it is less complicated to get rid of a house without the legal eyes of the state getting involved
Marriage has been forced upon people for generations by the state, church and society. Is it surprising that some people shun it, and besides if a relationship was to break up surely it is less complicated to get rid of a house without the legal eyes of the state getting involved
Z
z104
Guest
In my own situation it is all boundless happiness. When I decided to buy with my then girlfriend (now my wife) I knew that she was the one, If you don't think this is a possibility then thing long and hard.
It's a big warning sign if one of the couple is only buying to keep the other happy.
Life is about experiencing things so it's only natural that you might be apprehensive about it assuming you are talking about your own situation. People like to settle down in their own place so it's a fairly natural thing for people to want to do this.
Z
z104
Guest
I fully agree with this. It makes it alot less complicated. Even though I am married ( I have the piece of paper to proove it ,whoo hoo) There is absolutely no difference between being a married unit and being in a stable long term relationship. It's a pity the state have not caught up yet with regards to being jointly assessed and social benefits.
Ericson I'm not saying that unmarried people who are couple's gay or hetrosexual or sibling's shouldn't buy a house. You're misunderstanding me. I actually bought my first house with my husband before we got married but we made sure we knew what we were doing.
All I'm getting from AAM are complete messes and more people wanting to get into a mess. Couple's splitting up with no legal agreement as to how to divide the house, one partner trying to buy a house where one partner pays the mortgage but has no title, one partner buying the house but the other is on the dole and not understanding that they will be paying for the person on the dole when they are means tested but pretending they are a 'friend', couple's trying to evade stamp duty when purchasing, couple's splitting up with the house in negative equity, rent not covering the mortgage and people refusing to sell to get out of the mess. Couple's splitting up and wanting to sell one half to the new partner and not knowing how to deal with the equity either positive or negative.
People who are not married should have a watertight legal agreement in place as to what happens when they split up in relation to the assets/liability. The worst case scenarious seem to mysteriouly be forgotton in the headlong rush to nail down that dream home. That was my point.
In relation to married couple's it is not as complicated as there are more clear legal rules in relation to this.
All I'm getting from AAM are complete messes and more people wanting to get into a mess. Couple's splitting up with no legal agreement as to how to divide the house, one partner trying to buy a house where one partner pays the mortgage but has no title, one partner buying the house but the other is on the dole and not understanding that they will be paying for the person on the dole when they are means tested but pretending they are a 'friend', couple's trying to evade stamp duty when purchasing, couple's splitting up with the house in negative equity, rent not covering the mortgage and people refusing to sell to get out of the mess. Couple's splitting up and wanting to sell one half to the new partner and not knowing how to deal with the equity either positive or negative.
People who are not married should have a watertight legal agreement in place as to what happens when they split up in relation to the assets/liability. The worst case scenarious seem to mysteriouly be forgotton in the headlong rush to nail down that dream home. That was my point.
In relation to married couple's it is not as complicated as there are more clear legal rules in relation to this.
Tomodinhio
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truthseeker
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I agree with Bronte - there does seem to be a general lack of foresight with people buying homes together.
No experience of it personally but I would have imagined that the solicitor involved in the transaction would have advised a watertight legal agreement to cover worst case scenarios. Does this not happen? Or is it ignored?
No experience of it personally but I would have imagined that the solicitor involved in the transaction would have advised a watertight legal agreement to cover worst case scenarios. Does this not happen? Or is it ignored?
Normally its ignored!
The other thing is that no-one wants to pay extra for anything and the grief factor in trying to persuade people that it is a sensible idea is just huge. If they are sensible they will think it through and it is simple. if they are not sensible, then you can waste a lot of time asking them to consider their position and the alternatives. My favourite is when one is getting a gift of the deposit from the parents and you ask the question - is that a joint gift to you both or a gift to one only? At the time of the gift, its a gift to both. By the time they split, its a gift to one - now how did that happen?
mf
I would suggest that the bubble simply hid this problem, and in many cases both caused and accentuated it.
That your friend bought, split and subsequently made a profit was just pure dumb luck. With high transaction costs and nearly all mortgage repayments from the first few swallowed up in interest it makes absolutely no sense to buy property in Ireland with someone to whom you don't have a civil union without recourse to a cast iron legal agreement.
The economic downturn didn't cause this to beome an issue, the bubble did.
Have to say, I agree with you on this. Did solicitors ever advise unmarried couples to do this as standard? Surely part of their remit would be to advise their clients of the consequences of their actions
Same would also apply to friends who bought property together. I've one staff member who bought an appartment at the peak with a mate of his, they're probably €200k in negative equity at this stage and never signed any kind of legal understanding as to what they would do if one wanted out
I think on this site there seems to be a lot of couples with problems having bought together.
However, I would say it is a very small proportion of the total. Not many people are going to post here to say everything is hunky dory.
of all the people I know, or know of, in this situation i don't think i have come across any that have run into major difficulties.