balancing the needs of your children and your job.
- Thread starter Purple
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I'd be careful with some of these acronyms and when and where they are used.
They can mean very different things in other... eh ...scenarios.
Indeed, DS could stand for Dip.. never mind.
A
AgathaC
Guest
Excellent!!
If someone started going on about their fab DP and DS or GS whatever, I think I would have to tell them to PFO.
On another note, we did have a person with no children, who went on about his dogs all the time, we would get the updates on their dinner, walkies, (they employed a dog walker) and he even phoned home to "speak" to the dogs on the telephone. Even our clients used to get it. Saw him cornering one poor woman at a social and taking out the wallet and going through the photos. It was hard to keep a straight face if he cornered you, but better than any sitcom if you could observe him from afar with someone else.
When my friend was pregnant, she said, please tell me if my brain turns to mush and I become a baby bore. I ended up having to take her up on it. What a laugh we had.
On another note, we did have a person with no children, who went on about his dogs all the time, we would get the updates on their dinner, walkies, (they employed a dog walker) and he even phoned home to "speak" to the dogs on the telephone. Even our clients used to get it. Saw him cornering one poor woman at a social and taking out the wallet and going through the photos. It was hard to keep a straight face if he cornered you, but better than any sitcom if you could observe him from afar with someone else.
When my friend was pregnant, she said, please tell me if my brain turns to mush and I become a baby bore. I ended up having to take her up on it. What a laugh we had.
It is natural for new parents to focus on their children. And, while it's OK to reply briefly to 'how's the kid doing?' from a colleague, it is not OK to make it the sole focus of conversation. Home is home and work is work.
I am a parent but I realise that my children are interesting only to me and that other people have their own priorities. And my priority at work is work. I have of course taken time off for minding sick children and have had the odd emergency where things had to be juggled but on the whole I avoided mixing the two and I think it is a good approach.
Endless conversations about other people's children with all the details about eating patterns, waking patterns, sleeping, nappies etc do not belong to the workplace, in the same way that endless conversations about football don't. It indicates a lack of focus and is unprofessional. Also, in some way, they make it harder for parents to clearly divide the two worlds and contribute to various guilt feelings. Not good.
I am a parent but I realise that my children are interesting only to me and that other people have their own priorities. And my priority at work is work. I have of course taken time off for minding sick children and have had the odd emergency where things had to be juggled but on the whole I avoided mixing the two and I think it is a good approach.
Endless conversations about other people's children with all the details about eating patterns, waking patterns, sleeping, nappies etc do not belong to the workplace, in the same way that endless conversations about football don't. It indicates a lack of focus and is unprofessional. Also, in some way, they make it harder for parents to clearly divide the two worlds and contribute to various guilt feelings. Not good.
In fairness, I know lots of working mothers who come into work to get a break from talk about kids and nurseries and postman pat and absolutely hate when other Mums try to drag them into 'mammy' conversations all the time. They'd far rather be part of the conversation going on at the other table about the X factor, or the price of petrol, or the Bord Snip report or all the other million and one things going on in the world.
Thank you Liaconn you have summarised better than I ever could my entire thoughts about this whole thread! I can't wait to go to work tomorrow morning and I only have one wonderful baby but . .. I need a change, a break. Sometimes people ask me about her and I just say 'She's fine'. The end. I have nothing more whatsoever to add unless I say, she's at the creche having a ball and I am so glad someone else is looking after her for a while.
The funny bit is that I thought I would like to be a stay at home mum. . .
....and Im the exact opposite. I really thought Id want to work work work - get out and not think about nappies, nappy rash etc. but it is so tough and to be honest I think I may not be cut out for it. Bizarre isnt it.
I have recently changed job after 11 years with the same company and now here I am back at work post maternity leave in a different organisation (too long a story and not relevant as to why I changed), however the team I joined just dont get on. They bicker. There is so much political rubbish going on, they all go to lunch together and ignore eachother and glare at eachother (so why go to lunch together). So I find myself rattling on about my child/their children to fill in the silences. Crazy I never thought I would be like this. The silence makes me miserable though, homesick for my daughter and for my old company. I will start going to lunch on my own with a book but as the new girl I want to be seen putting the effort in to get on with this very difficult team.
Anyways neither here nor there. Just Im embarassed to find myself rattling on about my little girl at lunchtime when I never thought Id be like this!
Casiopea
It helps that my transition back to work has been fairly easy and the whole thing is not as hard as I thought. Sounds like you're just not happy in the job, this would probably be the same if you didn't have your baby, you just wouldn't have that aspect to be talking / thinking about!
A
It helps that my transition back to work has been fairly easy and the whole thing is not as hard as I thought. Sounds like you're just not happy in the job, this would probably be the same if you didn't have your baby, you just wouldn't have that aspect to be talking / thinking about!
A
Complainer
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Just a suggestion - don't start going to lunch on your own, as once you start this, it will be very difficult to break out the habit. You must have made contact with some others in the organisation outside of your own team, so reach out to some of them for the odd 1:1 lunch. Or invite one of your colleagues out for sandwich, just to get to know them a bit better away from the group.
Bubbly Scot
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Reading this thread, it seems I'm the only one doing a job with no prospects :-( At the other end of the scale there are people doing the mundane type of jobs like shop assistants (like me) who are just trying to keep the family's heads above water, so to speak. We're not actually on a career path..which is a good job because there isn't one where I work.
My work are great at accomodating parents. The girls who don't have kids will work Christmas eve so the rest of us can be home with our families. I am not expected to work after 2pm on a school day so I can pick my youngest up from school...although I do have to work a few evenings. If my child is ill..or as happened one day, forgot her lunch so I had to call in and say I'd be late cos I had to go back for it, there isn't a problem. Our boss is a family man and thankfully understands that children are unpredictable.
We don't hear many complaints from the childless collegues but I know one got rightly upset when she agreed to work the christmas eve shift til 10pm because another member of staff absolutely insisted she had to be home with her child that night.........there was no problem whatsoever from the girl who agreed to work as she thought it was right and proper.....and then she discovered that the mother had been in the pub since four pm and left her child at home with a babysitter til gone 11 christmas eve.
Parents at my work do enjoy a certain amount of flexibility but that one parent aside (and she does a lot more to brass people off than that) we don't abuse it. During school holidays I take all the crappy shifts going to give the others a break.
My work are great at accomodating parents. The girls who don't have kids will work Christmas eve so the rest of us can be home with our families. I am not expected to work after 2pm on a school day so I can pick my youngest up from school...although I do have to work a few evenings. If my child is ill..or as happened one day, forgot her lunch so I had to call in and say I'd be late cos I had to go back for it, there isn't a problem. Our boss is a family man and thankfully understands that children are unpredictable.
We don't hear many complaints from the childless collegues but I know one got rightly upset when she agreed to work the christmas eve shift til 10pm because another member of staff absolutely insisted she had to be home with her child that night.........there was no problem whatsoever from the girl who agreed to work as she thought it was right and proper.....and then she discovered that the mother had been in the pub since four pm and left her child at home with a babysitter til gone 11 christmas eve.
Parents at my work do enjoy a certain amount of flexibility but that one parent aside (and she does a lot more to brass people off than that) we don't abuse it. During school holidays I take all the crappy shifts going to give the others a break.