All teenagers are thiefs and troublemakers

B

Bubbly Scot

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At least that seems to be the opinon of those who teach my daughter!!

My daughter was on a trip today arranged by her school as part of her TY. We were just chatting about it when she mentioned that they weren't allowed to take bags into the heritage centre they visited, they were also banned from entering the restaurant and gift shop "incase we steal something".

I thought maybe it was just that one centre but she said there are restrictions placed on most of their trips because they might misbehave or steal something. What I don't know (yet!!) is whether it's the individual establishments that are putting these restrictions on them but now I'm wondering if it's the school.

My initial reaction was to write to the heritage centre and complain. Then I realised these girls are 16 and 17 years old and are well capable of sticking up for themselves in such matters (we suggested possible solutions to our daughter) so I can't rant at them, I need to vent out here!

As my daughter said, "TY is supposed to be teaching us how to be adults and tolerant but everywhere we go we're treated like criminals" It's not the first time, my daughter says bus drivers are really rude to her when she's in uniform but not when she's in regular clothes (she looks older than 16). Shop assistants watch her when she's shopping and once she was even grabbed by a shop owner who accused her of setting of his alarm. Everyone seems to be looking for the worst in them, prior to a school trip abroad my daughter was made to sit through not 1 or even 2 but THREE lectures on what would happen if anyone misbehaved, parents even had to sign a contract saying they would pay the fare if their daughter had to be sent home. I wanted to complain but everyone else appeared to accept it and my daughter looked ready to fall through the floor when she saw the determined set of my jaw!

How can we teach young people respect if we don't show it to them? More to the point, if those teaching our children are treating them with such contempt, what chance have they got?
 
Bubbly Scot said:
At least that seems to be the opinon of those who teach my daughter!!

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What I don't know (yet!!) is whether it's the individual establishments that are putting these restrictions on them but now I'm wondering if it's the school.
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So you're jumping to conclusions then?
My initial reaction was to write to the heritage centre and complain.
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Why? If you don't know if they are responsible for this policy?
As my daughter said, "TY is supposed to be teaching us how to be adults and tolerant but everywhere we go we're treated like criminals"
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Everywhere? Are you sure that she's not overgeneralising?
It's not the first time, my daughter says bus drivers are really rude to her when she's in uniform but not when she's in regular clothes (she looks older than 16).
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What exactly constitutes "really rude"?
How can we teach young people respect if we don't show it to them? More to the point, if those teaching our children are treating them with such contempt, what chance have they got?
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How about teaching them logic and objectivity first - i.e. looking at the evidence and drawing conclusions from that rather than launching into emotional tirades based on woolly language and partial knowledge of the facts?
 
I can appreciate your annoyance but as a relative of mine who has a shop near a large private school has had to install a very expensive CCTV system in order to deter the large amount of petty shop lifting done by its pupils, I feel you are being quite naive about the level of petty thieving that teens do.

I have other relatives in teaching who tell me that it is fairly standard practice to only allow so many children at a time into shops when they are on bus tours etc. I really don't think teachers and shop owners are doing this for no reason. If your daughter isn't involved at all in these activities, then understandably she may not even be aware that others are, but you can be sure of one thing, they are.
 
All teenagers cannot be tarred with the same brush. A tiny minority of them no doubt will nick the odd bag of crisps. The majority will not break the law and are quite outraged by the notion held by some shopkeepers / bus drivers / taxi drivers etc that they (the teenagers) are out to get them. The number of times my kids came home feeling annoyed and upset by rude bus drivers and shopkeepers who made a disgrace of them at the shop door demanding a receipt of them. If this happened in the States the parents would sue them for defamation.
As for trips abroad, or even to places of interest within the country, Yes, I am all for the school laying down the law several times to the group before they travel. Trips can go terribly wrong by the actions of a few nutters, and then the entire school's reputation is destroyed. Everytime mine went away I had to confirm that they were aware that no tobacco, alcohol or drugs were to be consumed when on the trip, and this was from second class onwards! I wouldn't take any of this personally, schools are frequently having to fork out money to hostels and hotels abroad for damage done to rooms by TY students.
 
Shoplifting was rife among my schoolmates in the early years of secondary school. The local Woolworths was the most common target. Little wonder it closed during the mid-80s with the loss of several jobs. A few daredevils used to steal from Dunnes but most were afraid to because they had a reputation for not being nice to shoplifters.
 
Yep.

Our entire school was eventually banned (by the school itself) from "commercial areas" of our town at lunchtime because of shoplifting.
 
I can totally understand the school hammering home the rules several times before taking a gang of teenagers abroad. Its a huge responsibility and, if anything terrible happened, they could be held accountable.

In relation to shops, lots of teenagers dare each other to steal things for a laugh. You can't blame any shopowner who's been stung like this a few times for clamping down.
 
ophelia said:
All teenagers cannot be tarred with the same brush. A tiny minority of them no doubt will nick the odd bag of crisps.
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Unfortunately the reality is that it is far more than a tiny minority of Irish kids who steal. Of course not all teenagers can be tarred with the same brush, but ask any small shopkeeper ....

A gang of 6 - from a respectable school- came in to a small shop I know and they all went to different parts of the shop , distracted the only attendant there + robbed the single attentant blind...so blind he dind not know 10% of it.
 
rabbit said:
A gang of 6 - from a respectable school- came in to a small shop I know and they all went to different parts of the shop , distracted the only attendant there + robbed the single attentant blind...so blind he dind not know 10% of it.
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Sadly this sort of incident is extremely common. And sadder still, when shopkeepers have the temerity to report to the Gardai such incidents and the identities of those involved, a significant proportion of parents seem happy to defend their offspring at all costs.
 
I also think that its great that teachers are interested enough to discipline children. To be honest rearing children is difficult enough and any help to civilize them or if necessary frighten them into being well behaved is welcomed by me. Yes , I am old fashioned and remember when I behaved myself, not necessarily out of inate goodness, but because if my mother heard about it from neighbours etc. I'd know all about it.
I have a friend who has raised six children, all good kids , however she always said that anyone who trusts teenagers is by definition a fool, meaning that its their job, at that stage in their life, to chance things and do adult things whilst equipped with the brains of kids. Her theory is that the parents' job is to pretend to believe them , but not be surprised if they try to fool you . They inhabit a parallel universe at that stage, not all of course, but a lot of them.
 
ubiquitous said:
Sadly this sort of incident is extremely common. And sadder still, when shopkeepers have the temerity to report to the Gardai such incidents and the identities of those involved, a significant proportion of parents seem happy to defend their offspring at all costs.
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Very good point and probably the crux of the issue.
 
rabbit said:
not all teenagers can be tarred with the same brush, but ask any small shopkeeper ....
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Reminds me of the advert where the shop assistant(s) are watching the teenager, and do not notice the old lady with her hand in the till.
 
There is no doubt that teenagers and young people are demonised in the media to such an extent that many adults are terrified of meeting a group of two or more hoodie wearing teens after dusk (teen = thug). Teenagers themselves have set up a campaign to try to end such stereotyping.
 
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