Full-Time Mothers: Does this mean that women who work are only part-time mothers?
- Thread starter DeeFox
- Start date
truthseeker
Registered User
- Messages
- 2,577
I would assume language aquisition is also slightly ahead of time with creche going children as they are exposed to a greater range of vocabulary from other daily interaction with other children also?
truthseeker
Registered User
- Messages
- 2,577
Despite the horror story in this article:
[broken link removed]
it does say:
but unfortunately fails to mention the sources of the countless research publications.
Note the key phrase in the paragraph,
, so getting a child into a good creche that they enjoy seems to be the key.
That's the thing...As the industry is largely un-regulated it makes the search for the best creche more difficult.
That link was very sad btw.
truthseeker
Registered User
- Messages
- 2,577
Agreed and agreed.
I do know one family who dont send the children to creche (mother stay at home) but they do send the children to various play groups and activities so that their children will not be behind creche goers in terms of social skills etc when they start school.
That's exactly what we're doing at the moment. Mrs Firefly gets to chat to other mothers (mainly) whilst the kids are playing away.
The problem to my mind is exactly that. You never heard of him being treated badly. Who is going to tell you? Absolutely not knocking creches - my sister's two kids are in a great one in Crumlin and are happy well adjusted children. (Though the not sharing rings a bell - I had linked it to having to "protect" his belongings from other kids which maybe he wouldn't have to do at home) That part wouldn't worry me though, it will all fall into place. There are many pros to creches. The cons as I see it are:
1. The children are; during the years when love is the most important, being cared for by someone who doesn't love them. They may be beautifully cared for, clean, dry, fed but when my kids are with me I spend half my time kissing or hugging them or telling them how special they are. That is absent with the most caring professional. Love.
2. Abuse / neglect are hard to police (I know some creches have webcams) .
3. The day is very long for small kids. The routine at home can be much less structured and more adaptive for little ones.
By the way, I have worked full / part time and not at all during various stages of my childrens lives and have been lucky enough to share any necessary childcare with the grandparents. A total luxury I know.
A.
Various longitudinal studies confirm the common sense intuition that young children fare better at home with their mother, or father. This BBC report refers to one such study.
Creches ARE regulated by the HSE see for further details. Further guidelines are available [broken link removed].
The HSE conducts inspections of creches and inspection reports are made available. Horror stories are certainly out there but most responsible creche owners will address your concerns.
As are nursing homes ... in theory!
So this is now a thread about creches.
The research shows that daycare type situations cause stress in young children. Read "The science of parenting" by Margot Sunderland
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Science-Parenting-Margot-Sunderland/dp/075663993X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1265976171&sr=8-1
Its not nice to know that but for most parents there is little choice.
There are loads of compromises that we have to take when raising our children either way. Stay at home parents will end up with less money for their children in the long run, thats not a wonderful choice to have to make either. Lets not make each other feel bad about our choices.
Ideal situation for me would be extended unpaid leave from work (like some European countries who have 3 years per child) but thats not available here. I'll be talking to the politicians at the next election.
The research shows that daycare type situations cause stress in young children. Read "The science of parenting" by Margot Sunderland
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Science-Parenting-Margot-Sunderland/dp/075663993X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1265976171&sr=8-1
Its not nice to know that but for most parents there is little choice.
There are loads of compromises that we have to take when raising our children either way. Stay at home parents will end up with less money for their children in the long run, thats not a wonderful choice to have to make either. Lets not make each other feel bad about our choices.
Ideal situation for me would be extended unpaid leave from work (like some European countries who have 3 years per child) but thats not available here. I'll be talking to the politicians at the next election.
Re: Full-Time Mothers
This "quality " time baffles me.It seems to say that those of us at home dont have "quality " time with our children.
I live in an area where there are many many parents,some stay at home with the children and a lot more bring them to creches.
Let me give you an example of what I see:
Those who stay at home;Most if not all of these children would go to playschool or montessori,therefore they get to spend time with other kids,learn to interact,share and gives them and the parent time apart.
Usually the parent would use this time to tidy the house,clean,prepare,iron,go to the hairdressers,gym,meet friends for coffee etc.
When the child is collected ,I often see the parent bringing them to the park.And then its the usual round of collecting other the other children from school,after school activitys,dinner,homework etc.
For those who work outside the home:
Most if not all of these children are dropped off at creche,at 7 to 7.30.
Tiny babies in the cold dark winter mornings,wrapped up in their car seats ready to spend a day at the creche.A lot of them crying/upset.
The parent whom has obviously had to get up earlier to get the baby ready and feed it ,give baby a bottle ,dress baby and get their own stuff in order,then jumps in their car to face a battle of traffic and a full on full day at work.
They then battle the traffic home,trying to get back to the creche on time to collect the baby,,whom has been there for over ten hours.
They then have to get home,cook clean,iron,perhaps do homework with siblings,afterschool activitys,same as a stay at home parent.
Baby has to get to bed at 7.30/8.00 so that gives the parent and child ,max 2 hours,during which time naturally the parents may have other siblings to attend to and do all I have written.WHERE IS THE QUALITY TIME??.
I know of parents who are working full time ,and if they have a day off,a half day etc they will still leave the child into the creche and collect them at 3 minutes to six!
Because the parents are so busy during the week,most weekends are spent playing catch up,hairdressers,paying bills ,shopping,coffee with friends etc.
I think that parents who work fulll time,have children,run a home etc have it very hard.
Obviously stay at home parents can have it hard too,but they dont have the extra pressure of someone who works full time as well,fair play to those of you that do both.I salute you.
However,I would not remain sane,with all the pressure ,nor would I like to spend so little time with the children whom I chose to have,nor would I want them to have such a rushed ,stressed parent who doesnt see them for ten hours a day.
Each to their own....
This "quality " time baffles me.It seems to say that those of us at home dont have "quality " time with our children.
I live in an area where there are many many parents,some stay at home with the children and a lot more bring them to creches.
Let me give you an example of what I see:
Those who stay at home;Most if not all of these children would go to playschool or montessori,therefore they get to spend time with other kids,learn to interact,share and gives them and the parent time apart.
Usually the parent would use this time to tidy the house,clean,prepare,iron,go to the hairdressers,gym,meet friends for coffee etc.
When the child is collected ,I often see the parent bringing them to the park.And then its the usual round of collecting other the other children from school,after school activitys,dinner,homework etc.
For those who work outside the home:
Most if not all of these children are dropped off at creche,at 7 to 7.30.
Tiny babies in the cold dark winter mornings,wrapped up in their car seats ready to spend a day at the creche.A lot of them crying/upset.
The parent whom has obviously had to get up earlier to get the baby ready and feed it ,give baby a bottle ,dress baby and get their own stuff in order,then jumps in their car to face a battle of traffic and a full on full day at work.
They then battle the traffic home,trying to get back to the creche on time to collect the baby,,whom has been there for over ten hours.
They then have to get home,cook clean,iron,perhaps do homework with siblings,afterschool activitys,same as a stay at home parent.
Baby has to get to bed at 7.30/8.00 so that gives the parent and child ,max 2 hours,during which time naturally the parents may have other siblings to attend to and do all I have written.WHERE IS THE QUALITY TIME??.
I know of parents who are working full time ,and if they have a day off,a half day etc they will still leave the child into the creche and collect them at 3 minutes to six!
Because the parents are so busy during the week,most weekends are spent playing catch up,hairdressers,paying bills ,shopping,coffee with friends etc.
I think that parents who work fulll time,have children,run a home etc have it very hard.
Obviously stay at home parents can have it hard too,but they dont have the extra pressure of someone who works full time as well,fair play to those of you that do both.I salute you.
However,I would not remain sane,with all the pressure ,nor would I like to spend so little time with the children whom I chose to have,nor would I want them to have such a rushed ,stressed parent who doesnt see them for ten hours a day.
Each to their own....
Re: Full-Time Mothers
I agree with every word.
I also know people who, when they have a week off will let hubby drop baby or small kids to the creche while they have a (well deserved - not disputed) lie in. I simply don't get this. Why not give the child a week off the regimen as well and bum around in your jammies together.
Also in the job I last worked in, a manager was commended in the company newsletter as being back on the job 5 days after her baby was born . YES 5 DAYS. She was held up as an example of dedication. I think it constitutes neglect. I mean what is the point of having the child. Some kind of trophy?
I agree working parents have it very tough but there are always choices about the amount and quality of childcare and time with your children.
A.
I agree with every word.
I also know people who, when they have a week off will let hubby drop baby or small kids to the creche while they have a (well deserved - not disputed) lie in. I simply don't get this. Why not give the child a week off the regimen as well and bum around in your jammies together.
Also in the job I last worked in, a manager was commended in the company newsletter as being back on the job 5 days after her baby was born . YES 5 DAYS. She was held up as an example of dedication. I think it constitutes neglect. I mean what is the point of having the child. Some kind of trophy?
I agree working parents have it very tough but there are always choices about the amount and quality of childcare and time with your children.
A.
I'm not really sure I understand the repeated reference to it being a 'luxury' for mums to be able to stay at home or that not all parents can 'afford' to have one parent stay at home as a carer and forsake a salary as a result.
With the cost of creches/childcare, particularly in Dublin, is it not pretty much the case in many instances that it would make more sense (at least financially) for one parent to stay at home, particularly if there are two or more youngsters? My sister pays €2,000 a month in creche fees to a very ordinary (but well run) creche in Dublin city centre. That is a not inconsiderable amount of anyone's net monthly income. She is a self-employed professional and her husband is a PAYE worker, and this arrangement with the creche works for them for the time being, but I would imagine that there are many couples who, when creche fees are taken into account, find that it makes more financial sense for one of them NOT to continue to work and to stay at home instead, rather than fork out huge creche fees.
As for the comments on this thread about working mothers effectively abandoning their kids to be reared by someone else
I hear these comments regularly from stay at home mums, the majority of whom never had any particular interest or ambition in forging their own careers. These very same women are the first to boast about how their own children (including their daughters) are going to be doctors, vets, lawyers etc. You can only laugh really.
With the cost of creches/childcare, particularly in Dublin, is it not pretty much the case in many instances that it would make more sense (at least financially) for one parent to stay at home, particularly if there are two or more youngsters? My sister pays €2,000 a month in creche fees to a very ordinary (but well run) creche in Dublin city centre. That is a not inconsiderable amount of anyone's net monthly income. She is a self-employed professional and her husband is a PAYE worker, and this arrangement with the creche works for them for the time being, but I would imagine that there are many couples who, when creche fees are taken into account, find that it makes more financial sense for one of them NOT to continue to work and to stay at home instead, rather than fork out huge creche fees.
As for the comments on this thread about working mothers effectively abandoning their kids to be reared by someone else
I hear these comments regularly from stay at home mums, the majority of whom never had any particular interest or ambition in forging their own careers. These very same women are the first to boast about how their own children (including their daughters) are going to be doctors, vets, lawyers etc. You can only laugh really.
What ,can you tell me ,do you not understand about it?
I would imagine that their are some people whom would prefer not to work outside the home,but maybe have to as the other partners income isnt sufficient to facilate this,or could it be a lifestyle choice that the couple make?
I would also imagine that there are people whom choose to work full time, as this is what they want to do,regardless of children.
In other words those who are in a position to be able to stay at home ,are in such a position that it gives them the choice/luxury.
There are also some who make zero amount having paid the creche but they prefer to go to work rather than looking after children,or dont want to break their career path etc.
I certaintly know of people who lose money due to creche fees but as the mum isnt really into kids and was back in work before her leave was up,had the baby in the creche the day it was old enough,and four and a half years later the child still goes to the same creche monday to friday 7.15 to 5.40,even if she has the day off.
so some people do want to tick the box so to speak,ie;have a career,new house ,new car,baby,extend the house ,have a couple of holidays etc.
I for one didnt say they abanded their children.However leaving a child in a creche for over 50 hours a week is an interesting way to bring up a child.As for the comments on this thread about working mothers effectively abandoning their kids to be reared by someone else
Funnily enough ,I have heard full time working parents say THEY feel like they are abandoning their children,
Without exception ,I know of no stay at home mothers who dont have an interest outside the home,whatever that may be,and most of them are professionals whom intend to return to work at some stage.They have had an interest in forging their own careers however they obvioulsly feel that having had a child their interest and ambitions change.
.
The logical conclusion is having to laugh when you see a full time working mother with a young child,who is pusing a little buggy up the road?
Yeah
Ye two are gone just a tad off topic.
Look, child rearing is one of those things that everybody has their own ideas about. Some agree with creches, some don't, some get defensive because they stay at home, some get defensive because they don't stay at home. Do you really think that you will change somebody's mind on an internet forum???
Just rear your children the way you see fit - you are the parent, do what is right for you and yours.
Ye two are gone just a tad off topic.
Look, child rearing is one of those things that everybody has their own ideas about. Some agree with creches, some don't, some get defensive because they stay at home, some get defensive because they don't stay at home. Do you really think that you will change somebody's mind on an internet forum???
Just rear your children the way you see fit - you are the parent, do what is right for you and yours.
C
Capt. Beaky
Guest
Exactly!
Re: Full-Time Mothers
Going off topic started much earlier than my post...
Children at school 9 to 3, doing homework/ having snacks/ playing 3 to 6; at home or at sport training for the next 15 hours. I would hardly describe them as being being "reared" by somebody else when it's really less than 3 hours a day.
I would much prefer a child to be in after-school care than being dragged to shops, supermarkets and appointments (hairdresser, queuing for car tax, yadda yadda).
Going off topic started much earlier than my post...