As usual, you excel at the general narrative enough to reduce the groan factor of the punchline.
That's a matter of opinion surely.
That's a matter of opinion surely.
Yes, in this case, mine.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Staples http://www.askaboutmoney.com/showthread.php?p=961355#post961355
That's a matter of opinion surely.
Beware, Caveat. Staples is prickly.
Originally Posted by Staples http://www.askaboutmoney.com/showthread.php?p=961355#post961355
That's a matter of opinion surely.
Beware, Caveat. Staples is prickly.
This is not another carp joke...
After every flight, pilots fill out a form colloquially referred to as a Gripe Sheet, which conveys to the maintenance engineers problems encountered with the aircraft during flight that need repair or correction.
The engineers read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form describing the remedial action taken, and the pilot reviews the Gripe Sheets before the next flight.
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.
(P = Problem logged by the pilot)
(S = Solution and action taken by the engineers)
P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.
P: Test flight OK, except automatic landing facility very rough.
S: Automatic landing facility not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found attached under right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be more serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
After every flight, pilots fill out a form colloquially referred to as a Gripe Sheet, which conveys to the maintenance engineers problems encountered with the aircraft during flight that need repair or correction.
The engineers read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form describing the remedial action taken, and the pilot reviews the Gripe Sheets before the next flight.
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.
(P = Problem logged by the pilot)
(S = Solution and action taken by the engineers)
P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.
P: Test flight OK, except automatic landing facility very rough.
S: Automatic landing facility not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found attached under right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be more serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
That's LOL-tastic.