To work or not to work , baby due , what to do ! !

[sandrat]

jubi et al can't post now its been moved to LOS

 

[michaelm]

. . it is not possible for many 2 parent families to have a stay-at-home-parent and a working parent. That is the financial reality, and not for lots of holidays- for mortgages, bills and living expenses.

I'm all for choice.

Who wouldn't be all for choice? But you are surely aware that Government policy is to have both parents working and they have deepened their tax individualisation policy over the last number of years which has pushed the stay-at-home option out of the reach of many more families.

 

[micheller]

Yes, which is exactly why I said that if it was important to the state/ society you'd think they could make it a more financially viable option.

 

[michaelm]

Yes, which is exactly why I said that if it was important to the state/ society you'd think they could make it a more financially viable option.

Ok. So can I infer that you think that because Government tax policy (borderline social experiment) makes it less viable, that it is not then important to society? If so, I submit that the Government have got it wrong: on the basis that the Government gets practically everything wrong, notwithstanding the broken clock rule - even a broken clock is right twice a day.

 

[micheller]

I don't think that it is wrong to work outside the home for whatever reason people do.

I'm telling you that I think it would be nice if the government made it a more financially viable option to mind my children if I so choose.
So that my choice, for me (but also I'd bet for some other people too), wouldn't be made around financial circumstances.

I don't think I can really add anything more to this thread anyway...

 

[Bronte]

shouldn't the government care more & attempt to make it more financially viable for us to raise our own children if we so choose?

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Believe it or not I completely agree with this.

I think it's a pity the other posters cannot contribute as it was actually a serious subject.

 

[Bronte]

My mother (and many other parents) have also said that one of the most important times to be around is during the teenage years, the possibilities for a teenager getting into trouble are almost endless.
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I also agree with this, I think it's a very important time in a child's life and it's good for a parent to be there for them through these difficult years.

 

[Purple]

Believe it or not I completely agree with this.

I think it's a pity the other posters cannot contribute as it was actually a serious subject.

I think some posters take issue with the misogynistic assertion that mothers should be at home raising their children and the inference that those women who do work outside the home when their children are small are bad mothers and are engaging in some self indulgent pretence that their “little job” is anything more than dead end time filling.

I do agree that the government has engaged in what is tantamount to social engineering and I agree that this may well have negative social implications. Where I take issue is when it is suggested that mothers shoulder the blame. I thought that sort of sexism went out of fashion in this country in the 1970’s.

 

[Sherman]

I do agree that the government has engaged in what is tantamount to social engineering and I agree that this may well have negative social implications. Where I take issue is when it is suggested that mothers shoulder the blame. I thought that sort of sexism went out of fashion in this country in the 1970’s.

I would argue that the move to individualisation of tax credits etc. over the past few years has been a deliberate move away from social engineering.

 

[micheller]

I would argue that the move to individualisation of tax credits etc. over the past few years has been a deliberate move away from social engineering.

Can you explain why; or detail what you mean?

 

[Bronte]

I think some posters take issue with the misogynistic assertion that mothers should be at home raising their children

I understand that but we believe in free speech and it's important everyone gives their view whether we like it or not, that's where I was coming from.
Sherman the tax changes forced women to work who otherwise would have stayed at home. That is social engineering. The non subsidising of childcare forces people to have less children etc.

 

[Purple]

Sherman the tax changes forced women to work who otherwise would have stayed at home. That is social engineering. The non subsidising of childcare forces people to have less children etc.

It didn't force them to work, it made it more attractive to work. Not the same thing (there was no coercion involved).

 

[Sherman]

I understand that but we believe in free speech and it's important everyone gives their view whether we like it or not, that's where I was coming from.
Sherman the tax changes forced women to work who otherwise would have stayed at home. That is social engineering. The non subsidising of childcare forces people to have less children etc.

I would argue that anything which treats one group, in this case families with children, as any different to another group, using the tax system, is social engineering. How could it be social engineering to treat every individual as an individual irregardless of their particular family situation?

 

[casiopea]

Please ignore, my question didnt really contribute to the thread.

 

[annR]

Can I ask, how many parents who are recommending going back to work when the kids are in school have school age kids? My oldest started Junior infants this year, and it has made us much much busier as a result. My mother (and many other parents) have also said that one of the most important times to be around is during the teenage years, a toddler in a creche can only get into so much trouble, but the possibilities for a teenager getting into trouble are almost endless. The older my kids get, the more I realise that the early years when the child can be looked after full time by a creche/childminder are the easiest to combine with working full time.

Thanks terrysgirl for this post. I've often thought the same, partly because I remember what a relief it was to come home to my mother from school. Out of interest, how do parents of school going children manage? What do the kids do after school, who picks them up etc? I'm on maternity leave at the moment. I'll try going back fulltime and I hope my baby will be happy in the creche. But when she starts school I would prefer to be able to pick her up and take her home myself. I draw the line at the child being ferried to some other venue to wait for me to finish work - I think it's too long a day. Especially because I think school is more like work to them than the creche is for babies. From what I remember anyway!
However I'm also aware that I may not have that choice to work part time or be a SAHM . . . I think this government has done squat for families. If that's the case I'll have to do my best just like all the previous generations of women/families. I'm sure that they all wondered if they were doing the right thing. Surely being in a happy family is ultimately the most important thing.

 

[ice]

I dont just mean financially either, i may sound selfish but i went to college for 4 years have a good degree, am studying for exams at the moment and will hopefully start my training to become a solicitor soon.
I love my daughter and want the best for her but having a Mam who isnt happy to wave goodbye to her career before it even started and is unfulfilled at home is not best for her.
I want her to grow up knowing women can have a career i want to be a role model for her.

I think its very much an individual choice (taking out financial considerations) and women should not be made feel guilty for wanting to be more than a SAHM.

Nor should a SAHM but made to feel guily about her choice. There are lots of well educated, intelligent women who choose to stay at home. This does not mean that their children will not know women have a choice.

Each situation is different. The SAHM V working mother is always going to be an emotive topic. Each situation is different and its difficult to generalise and say 'this is the best way'
Whats best for your family may not be for the next.