Lots of good replies since yesterday!
Re Missus enjoying shiny things - she is on board, I was exaggerating a tad. I've got our salaries mandated to our shared account and I use a standing order to give us both an allowance for the month. The rest is used for savings etc...
Re factoring in childcare costs - this is in my financial plan. I've budgeted €1000 per month per potential baby.
Re saving for deposit. We have this plus ~25k in savings and adding to it rapidly.
Re: 2m for a pension pot. This is a separate question I had, but it's for another day. Seriously though, 2m seems like a lot! Definitely not relying on the state pension being there in 40 years though.
Re Job Security: Hers is 100% secure and on a scale. I'm in tech....that industry is strong but I'm not foolish enough to think it can't crash. I've a lot of transferable skills so if it should collapse tomorrow I'd be able to find work, but at a lower rate of pay. For this specific reason I want to secure a home.
It seems like striking a balance between owning our own home (overpaying mortgage), pension, and emergency cash is needed, which is what I'd always expected and planned for.
The 2nd house down the line is a plan - it is not set in stone. If it happens, great. if not then we'll re-evaluate as needed. For the present we need a home for the family and security, so to answer my original question: It doesn't make sense to double down on the mortgage and sacrifice the pension as per this thread:
http://www.askaboutmoney.com/thread...-a-pension-but-dont-leave-it-too-late.189981/
Thanks!