Nursing homes are truely awful places to park the elderly in my opinion.
It is definitely not the preferred option but in many cases it is the best option.
My parents had a pact, no matter what happened neither would put the other in a nursing home. We were all aware of this arrangement.
Alzheimers then struck my dad, after many issues of wandering out at night getting lost, and many of the other consequences of this horrible illness, my 80+ year old mam could no longer cope. The HSE did provide home help, the max available was 21 hours a week, but there are 168 hours in a week and my dad needed care 24/7. Despite the pact, the only option was a nursing home.
My dad passed away peacefully after 6 years of exceptional care by a devoted team of professionals who were far better able meet his needs than anyone could have done at home.
Soon after, my mam then in her 90’s needed nursing home care and after a few years of exceptional care that she again could not have got at home, passed away peacefully having been looked after by an exceptional team of caring professionals.
None of us had any regrets about breaking the pact, and have no doubt that our parents will understand that we did what we had to do for all the right reasons.
Nursing homes are not always awful, they are very necessary and caring places for many.