I’m fast coming to the conclusion that my marriage is ending. It’s almost a relief in a way. But I just can’t see a financial solution to separating from my other half.
As a couple, our financial situation is relatively comfortable, certainly a lot more comfortable that the many nightmare stories you read around here about debt and negative equity. But if we separate, it would be a very different story. Here’s our current situation:
Age: 49
Spouse’s/Partner's age: 48
Annual gross income from employment or profession: €73k public sector, so pension levy comes off gross
Annual gross income of spouse: €3k
Monthly take-home pay : €3,464 (after additional years pension purchase)
Type of employment: Moved to public sector 10 years ago, niche specialist role, very few opportunities for promotion or additional income
In general are you:
(a) spending more than you earn, or
(b) saving?
Definitely spending more – have been running down all savings built up in the good years to the extent that credit card debt has built up (part of the reason for splitting up, as it happens)
Rough estimate of value of home: €450k – maybe more after recent price jumps – 4-bed semi-D in a nice part of south Dublin
Amount outstanding on your mortgage: €5k
What interest rate are you paying? Tracker
Other borrowings – car loans/personal loans etc : €8k in credit card debt from last couple of years converted to personal loan, paying €260 per month to clear over 3 years
Do you pay off your full credit card balance each month? No,
If not, what is the balance on your credit card? about €3k (on top of €8k mentioned above)
Savings and investments: €3k left in credit union
Do you have a pension scheme? Yes, about €100k in two DC schemes from previous private sector employment
Do you own any investment or other property? No
Ages of children: Two boys, 14 and 10, older lad has done 1 year in private secondary school
Life insurance: Mortgage protection policy still in place, but due to finish soon with mortgage
What specific question do you have or what issues are of concern to you?
How on earth could we afford to run two houses if we split? I would imagine that the kids will end up staying with herself in the family home, as that seems to be the way things go in Ireland. I really couldn’t go back to housesharing at my age, and I’d need to have room for the kids to stay. I’ll almost certainly inherit the cats too. So I’d need a 2-bed or more likely 3-bed house or apartment. I know pets can be a dealbreaker in many apartments, so a house seems the more likely option. If I look at 3-bed houses in the current area, even the very much less salubrious parts of the area, they are at about €300k. I’ve just no idea how I could fund this, or fund equivalent rent, while continuing to support ex-wife and family to stay in the family home.
I've been a good provider to my family. I was earning €100k in the private sector before I switched to public, so we had lots of good times, with nice car and nice holidays. I'm really not that bothered about material stuff, but herself doesn't share that particular world view - another reason why we're probably not going to stay together.
Maybe I could draw down my €100k approx pension pot early, once I pass 50, and get a lump sum that would cover a house deposit, but I still wouldn’t get near a 20% deposit, which I understand is what is required these days. I could cancel the purchase of additional pension years, though it is great financial value, given that it is based on the old (pre-2006) pricing. As a last resort, I might have to think about cancelling the private school, though it would be particularly hard on the oldest lad who has already done a year there. The rough plan was the that savings on outgoings from clearing the mortgage would allow us to cover the school fees and cover the personal loans too.
I do see other separated folks out and about who seem to be able to find workable solutions without ending up living on the breadline, so I’m wondering if there is some magic solution out there, beyond the lotto tickets.
All suggestions welcome.
As a couple, our financial situation is relatively comfortable, certainly a lot more comfortable that the many nightmare stories you read around here about debt and negative equity. But if we separate, it would be a very different story. Here’s our current situation:
Age: 49
Spouse’s/Partner's age: 48
Annual gross income from employment or profession: €73k public sector, so pension levy comes off gross
Annual gross income of spouse: €3k
Monthly take-home pay : €3,464 (after additional years pension purchase)
Type of employment: Moved to public sector 10 years ago, niche specialist role, very few opportunities for promotion or additional income
In general are you:
(a) spending more than you earn, or
(b) saving?
Definitely spending more – have been running down all savings built up in the good years to the extent that credit card debt has built up (part of the reason for splitting up, as it happens)
Rough estimate of value of home: €450k – maybe more after recent price jumps – 4-bed semi-D in a nice part of south Dublin
Amount outstanding on your mortgage: €5k
What interest rate are you paying? Tracker
Other borrowings – car loans/personal loans etc : €8k in credit card debt from last couple of years converted to personal loan, paying €260 per month to clear over 3 years
Do you pay off your full credit card balance each month? No,
If not, what is the balance on your credit card? about €3k (on top of €8k mentioned above)
Savings and investments: €3k left in credit union
Do you have a pension scheme? Yes, about €100k in two DC schemes from previous private sector employment
Do you own any investment or other property? No
Ages of children: Two boys, 14 and 10, older lad has done 1 year in private secondary school
Life insurance: Mortgage protection policy still in place, but due to finish soon with mortgage
What specific question do you have or what issues are of concern to you?
How on earth could we afford to run two houses if we split? I would imagine that the kids will end up staying with herself in the family home, as that seems to be the way things go in Ireland. I really couldn’t go back to housesharing at my age, and I’d need to have room for the kids to stay. I’ll almost certainly inherit the cats too. So I’d need a 2-bed or more likely 3-bed house or apartment. I know pets can be a dealbreaker in many apartments, so a house seems the more likely option. If I look at 3-bed houses in the current area, even the very much less salubrious parts of the area, they are at about €300k. I’ve just no idea how I could fund this, or fund equivalent rent, while continuing to support ex-wife and family to stay in the family home.
I've been a good provider to my family. I was earning €100k in the private sector before I switched to public, so we had lots of good times, with nice car and nice holidays. I'm really not that bothered about material stuff, but herself doesn't share that particular world view - another reason why we're probably not going to stay together.
Maybe I could draw down my €100k approx pension pot early, once I pass 50, and get a lump sum that would cover a house deposit, but I still wouldn’t get near a 20% deposit, which I understand is what is required these days. I could cancel the purchase of additional pension years, though it is great financial value, given that it is based on the old (pre-2006) pricing. As a last resort, I might have to think about cancelling the private school, though it would be particularly hard on the oldest lad who has already done a year there. The rough plan was the that savings on outgoings from clearing the mortgage would allow us to cover the school fees and cover the personal loans too.
I do see other separated folks out and about who seem to be able to find workable solutions without ending up living on the breadline, so I’m wondering if there is some magic solution out there, beyond the lotto tickets.
All suggestions welcome.