My thoughts exactly Clubman - if he is unable emotionally, physically, mentally or otherwise to earn a living, or claim his soc welfare entitlements and consequently putting family and family home at risk - is this a "cant" type behaviour through illness? If so, then if he is agreeing to sell family home, how can he be able to make this decision?
To me, this doesnt seem to be a "wont" type of behaviour but rather "cant" through some form of depressive illness, which unfortunately, I dont believe can be properly diagnosed by either GP or nurse.
I am speaking here, as the eldest sibling in my family where my dad was severely injured -brain injury- 2 yrs ago, young parents like you, and because my dad had a recognised and diagnosed disability/illness, I am at the minute talking to my dad ( difficult as he now has communication disorder) about giving me power of attorney, in the event that he has accident again. This alone is tricky as it is imperative that he is legally able to give instruction. What I am saying is - if your dad is ill, he may legally not be able to give instruction/consent? And who is saying he is ill or not ill - "cant" or "wont"? Be very careful here, is my guidance, in relation to sale of house. Check this legally, in the event that your dad, in 5 yrs time, your dad is well, and comes back to family, bulling that ye sold family residence, when he was ill! Could he sue? Legally, maybe?
Am wondering why bonds for your mum with the 65K. Again, in same boat, in relation to dad ensuring that has enough money to see him out (59yrs old - will never work again, sold business, separated from mum). My opinion is this - in relation to my dad - he is not in a position to gamble his money on stocks, shares, property as is no guarantee! Some bonds included as only capital guranteed! No good if only get back cap in 6 yrs, as then have lost money effectively. So only other option is cash deposit at max rate which is 4% Northern Rock. Is your mum gambling the valuable money she has??? this is just a thought really, your the financial person, Im a joe-soap really. Bottom line for me is - what risk am I willing to take on someone else's money - none. Also, for you, what if you make wrong decision, on bonds - will your mum accept it. Afterall, there are NO guarantees.
If you feel your dad is "ill", like my dad, I think you can apply for soc welf like dis ben/all on his behalf - get the forms, apply and write a note accompanying. I did so and then on assessment had to sign document saying that I was acting on his behalf and all correspondence went through me. But, his illness had to be certified. No prob. there.
I wish you the best, really do, such a load on your shoulders, at 22. I was in v.similar spot with parents too at 22. I learned a hard lesson:
1. you cant protect your parents, you can only support them. they are grown ups. one of my parents, the victim parent, used me as a "football" and until I saw it - 5 yrs later- that parent couldnt help themselves. Not until I stepped back, then it left room for that parent to sort out prob. (note prob was impossible, something like yours).
2. I got stuck in middle of problems, thought Id fixed it, but didnt (coz only parents could as they owned the problem, not me) - did think Id sorted it at the time - when things went belly up - i was to blame. Feck that!!!
Good luck, helpasap.