T
twee
Guest
Sorry in advance for the really long post. It is about my ex
After enduring his verbal aggression, a physical threat and using me as a taxi to bring our child down to where ex now lives (160 km round trip) It was getting more frequent that ex would leave me no choice in this by telling me as I was dropping our child off and going into work that they wouldnt be able to bring him back to the half way point and I had to go collect the child after a 12 hr shift in work meaning that we wouldnt reach home until 10.30pm.
After all this I told ex that if he wanted to see the child that he would have to come to my house to collect and be able to drop him off home too. That brought about the court threat. So then he didnt see the child for 5 wks and only talked to him once on the phone. Until it came to the childs birthday in the summer, he rang and asked if he could take the child to see his mother and get presents- that was fine- they collected the child and dropped him off with no problems. Months went by with zero contact from ex, until I got a solicitors letter in the post. Had a date for court, have now been down to the district court twice and have yet to get in front of the judge. Our solicitors have been trying to get an agreement in place but it is impossible. Their proposals include
1 Me dropping the child down to where they live in the morning before having to be in work for 8am- that would mean getting us both up at 5am and driving for 2.5 hours before working a 12 hour shift and then the next day after another 12 hour shift to repeat that journey getting home at 10.30pm. This would be repeated once a fortnight, they would be responsible for transport the other week.
2 I work three 12 hr shifts a week, their second proposal is to take the child two long days/1 night a week that I don't work. That would mean that the child would never be home. They are also ignoring the fact that from January the child will be in school 5 days a week so it is impossible. They also wanted me to share transport 50/50 in this option.
3 Their last proposal is to take the child every Friday afternoon until Saturday evening again me sharing transport 50/50 (although this last one had "twee or somebody else to collect at twee workplace" This is because they planned to drop the child there at 3pm even though I dont finish until 8pm).
My viewpoint: I have no problem with ex coming up for a few hours during the week and taking the child swimming or the likes (They refused this)
I have no problem with ex taking the child from Saturday to Sunday on the weekend I work as long as they take responsibility for the transport (They refused this)
I have no problem with them taking the child for alternate Friday nights as long as they take responsibility for transport. (They refused this)
My solicitor is telling me that I will need to share transport, is this true? There is no way I can commit to that. I dont know fortnight to fortnight what my shift or even my work location will be. Can anyone advise? My head is addled and I am so stressed over this. My parents think that the solicitor is not instructing me properly. My dad was with me the last day and so heard all he had to say.
After enduring his verbal aggression, a physical threat and using me as a taxi to bring our child down to where ex now lives (160 km round trip) It was getting more frequent that ex would leave me no choice in this by telling me as I was dropping our child off and going into work that they wouldnt be able to bring him back to the half way point and I had to go collect the child after a 12 hr shift in work meaning that we wouldnt reach home until 10.30pm.
After all this I told ex that if he wanted to see the child that he would have to come to my house to collect and be able to drop him off home too. That brought about the court threat. So then he didnt see the child for 5 wks and only talked to him once on the phone. Until it came to the childs birthday in the summer, he rang and asked if he could take the child to see his mother and get presents- that was fine- they collected the child and dropped him off with no problems. Months went by with zero contact from ex, until I got a solicitors letter in the post. Had a date for court, have now been down to the district court twice and have yet to get in front of the judge. Our solicitors have been trying to get an agreement in place but it is impossible. Their proposals include
1 Me dropping the child down to where they live in the morning before having to be in work for 8am- that would mean getting us both up at 5am and driving for 2.5 hours before working a 12 hour shift and then the next day after another 12 hour shift to repeat that journey getting home at 10.30pm. This would be repeated once a fortnight, they would be responsible for transport the other week.
2 I work three 12 hr shifts a week, their second proposal is to take the child two long days/1 night a week that I don't work. That would mean that the child would never be home. They are also ignoring the fact that from January the child will be in school 5 days a week so it is impossible. They also wanted me to share transport 50/50 in this option.
3 Their last proposal is to take the child every Friday afternoon until Saturday evening again me sharing transport 50/50 (although this last one had "twee or somebody else to collect at twee workplace" This is because they planned to drop the child there at 3pm even though I dont finish until 8pm).
My viewpoint: I have no problem with ex coming up for a few hours during the week and taking the child swimming or the likes (They refused this)
I have no problem with ex taking the child from Saturday to Sunday on the weekend I work as long as they take responsibility for the transport (They refused this)
I have no problem with them taking the child for alternate Friday nights as long as they take responsibility for transport. (They refused this)
My solicitor is telling me that I will need to share transport, is this true? There is no way I can commit to that. I dont know fortnight to fortnight what my shift or even my work location will be. Can anyone advise? My head is addled and I am so stressed over this. My parents think that the solicitor is not instructing me properly. My dad was with me the last day and so heard all he had to say.