Can my ex go back on our child support agreement

M

Messy37

Guest
Hi
Would appreciate some help on this.
My ex and I seperated 4 years ago and never divorced. We signed a seperation agreement drawn up by both our solicitors.
Basically he pays no maintenance for me, as I earn more than him, we agreed he would pay 120 euro a week for his daughter and 50% of her medical and school fees.
There has been no issue with the payments for the last 4 years.
Recently he moved in with his girlfriend, and he has started to become erratic with payments for school stuff and medical bills. Always saying he doesnt have the money and can he pay me what he owes me next month. He never misses the 120 a week, its the other 50/50 expenses he has started to get funny about paying.
His girlfriend is not in regular work and between them I think they have debts, so I think he is subsidising her mortgage and household expenses.
The thing I am really worried about is that he is going to say he doesn't have the money to pay for our daughters secondary school fees in sept when she starts first year.
Can he do this ? Will a court allow him to channel his spare income into his lifestyle rather than pay half his daughters school fees ?
I am not asking for a lot, just for him to pay half her fees and 120 a week which goes towards her child care. I may earn more than him but I have a massive mortgage which takes 60% of my salary and I run the household on my income solely.
Help ?
 
I'm curious as to why you say his spare income has been channelled into his lifestyle? does he/ they live particularly lavishly? or do you mean the debts? have his circumstances or earnings changed in any other ways?

I think the question is really whether he is living in luxury or just that his lifestyle has changed eg if he is paying a mortgage now rather then renting, grocery shopping for two etc and he genuinely can't afford the payments. Maybe as two parents you simply can't afford to pay school fees and two mortgages?
 
Of course anyone can go back on a maintenance agreement when their circumstances change. For example if his income has dropped or he has more expenses then he is entitled to go back to get the maintenance changed.

Can he afford to live in a house, pay towards a mortgage and pay for groceries and other household bills and on top of that pay for secondary school fees ?
 
Paying 50% on school stuff and medical bills additionally to 120 Euro maintenance a week is quite a lot of money. He must have been on a good wage too to afford this for the last four years.

People's circumstances change so instead of judging him maybe you want to sit down and look for solutions with him. I don't think you know how lucky you are with the money he paid so far. I could compare other people's situations to yours but it wouldn't help or answer your question.

So, can he change payments? Yes. But if he's wise he gets it done in a new agreement with you rather than just decides a new sum for himself.

In regards to medical bills - do you have health insurance? Claim back tax through the Revenue Med form? Tried to apply for a GP card?

When you say school fees? Is this a private school?
 
Private schooling is generally regarded as a luxury. When he originally agreed to pay 50% of schooling costs, was it agreed that your daughter would go to a private school rather than the local public school? And if yes, did your ex agree on which private school she is to attend (as finances may be a factor)? It may well be that he was under the assumption that school costs would be things like uniform, books etc for local public school, not thousands in fees.
 
The agreement for 120 a week plus 50% medical and school fees sounds very generous and was no doubt agreed to when it was what he could afford. He could presumably have gone after you for spousal support as you earn more than him but didnt?

By the sounds of things his circumstances have changed now and he is in a new 'family' of himself and his girlfriend and is also trying to support that. He is entitled to move on with his life and if he wishes to subsidise his girlfriends mortgage he is entitled to do so if he chooses - I am assuming that he has moved into her home?

I would think that the best thing to do would be to talk to him about what he can actually afford and try not to let negative feelings about his 'lifestyle' choices get in the way. Maybe it is the case that private fees are not an affordable option for your daughter?

People make choices, you say you have a massive mortgage - perhaps you could downgrade and have a smaller one if you need more money for your daughter?

To turn the situation around, perhaps he sees you in a nice house with a salary higher than his, while he is paying you 120 a week child support and living under a roof that isnt his own and wonders why you are also trying to squeeze more out of him for schooling, and are resentful of him moving on with his life?
 
If the original agreement was ordered by a judge (you say it was drawn up by solicitors but not whether it went to court) then to vary it you would need to go back to court.
 
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