Anti-jokes

S

shnaek

Guest
Man: Doctor, I've broken my leg.

Doctor: I'm afraid it is a very bad break. You will never walk again.
------------------------

A man walks into a pub.

He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.

-----------------------

Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge?

She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

------------------------------------------------------------

What do you call a cat with no tail?

A manx cat.

------------------------------------------------------------

Why do undertakers wear ties?

Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

------------------------------------------------------------

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb?

One.

------------------------------------------------------------

Why do women fake orgasms?

Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

------------------------------------------------------------

Two men are sitting in a pub.

One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.'

The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitue to subsidise her drug habit.'

------------------------------------------------------------

Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away. One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders off.
 
Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because the Russians were suppressing his country's right to independent self determination, bombing them into oblivion and committing war crimes in response to terrorists attacks by other chickens.

Oh - did I say chicken? I meant Chechen.
 
Back
Top