I really feel for you Lucashood1977, it seems you are in a place where you want to change direction and move on with your life. But change is tough and if you make a lot of changes at one go then it can be really hard to maintain. But changing one thing at a time makes things change very slowly and progress can be slow. But I think there are several things you can consider to help you along the way.
1. Figure out what you are spending all your money on.
My rent is 600 a month.
elec is 200.
Internet 40
Diesel 50
Car 375
this is 1265 which leaves €2735 to be accounted for. So every time you spend money write it down and keep the receipt. Have a look at the mabs spreadsheet, it will make you think of areas you are spending and don’t recall.
Food?
Drink
Heating
Car insurance, tax, service
Clothes
Books, movies
Takeaways
Medical costs, doctor, dentist, chemist.
2. Once you have figured out what you spend your money on then try and decide how much each month you actually want to spend and give yourself a budget.
So say you do spend €40 a day on wine which is €1240 per month. Then decide if that is what you want to spend or can you get away with spending less. Maybe you can decide on €40 every second day, then you can budget to save €620 per month.
3 When you get paid put that €620 into a different account, loads of ideas above on how to do that. And if the month progresses and you find you need to dip into the €620 don’t beat yourself up, just do your best. Change is hard. So maybe at the end of the month all you have left is €200 then transfer that to a long term saving that is harder to access. At the start of month 2 put the €200 straight into the long term saving and the €420 into the different account and try again.
3. Now you are in month 2, you have definitely been able to make €200 a month saving and you want to make more. There are several things you can do.
Examine what causes you to spend, what triggers the action. I am going to focus on the wine again, and I am sorry it is alcohol as maybe you have addiction issues which are a much bigger issue but I am for the sake of this topic going to assume you are able to decide whether you want to drink or not. So what makes you decide to buy that expensive bottle of wine. Do you call to the off licence every night on the way home from work? Do you spend hours researching wine and vineyards and buying them online. Are you a member of a wine club? Once you figure out what triggers the purchase then maybe you can do sometime to adjust the trigger. Maybe if it is a habit to drop into the off licence, change your route home so you don’t pass it. Decide to go in once every second day rather than every day? Make a decision to buy a €20 bottle rather than a €40 bottle for the next 10 bottles you buy. Any little action that can help you make a mindful spending decision rather than a habitual spending decision.
So each time you are paying ask yourself, if you are happy with your purchase, is it in your budget, or would you like to make one change to reduce the spend. And maybe half the time you are successful and half the time you default to your typical pattern. But at the end of the month the savings were €400. Put that into your long term savings and at the start of month 3 put €600 into long term savings.
4. Now you are at the start of month 3 with €1400 in long term savings. You are making great progress and you should be proud of yourself. But you need to maintain your saving goals by visualising what you are saving for. You spoke about moving, setting you as a sole trader, probably buying a house. So start researching and planning. See yourself living in your new location, imagine your lifestyle, work on your new work persona, sales pitch, business card etc. Then every month you save, expand your goals, “this month I can use my savings to buy a chair in my new kitchen”. Imagine it, look up different options, spend the money mentally. Give yourself a mental pat on the back for making the savings. Make it real by talking to friends about the type of kitchen chair you are going to buy in your new home.
5. As the months go on, make small changes one by one. Celebrate knowing where you are spending and tracking all your money. Know exactly what you want to spend each day, week, month. Be proud every time you decide to save and not spend. Be really proud of seeing your savings grow. Distract yourself from being in situations that trigger spending, leave the house, go for a walk, delay the spend, decide to do it the next day if you really want it, anything to wait. Maybe the trigger event or time will pass and in the morning you can decide again, spend or save. Set goals for your savings and visualise it happening, say when I get to €10 K saved I am going to change jobs, when I get to €20K I am going to start planning to move, when I get to €50K I am going to buy a house. Whatever goals work for you.
Do you want to take the first step and let us know what your spending is for the next week, month. If you write it out you make it real and people have lots of ideas to help even in small ways. Changing your electricity provider might save you €200 a year, and you might spend a night figuring that out as a distraction to spending €200, win win all around.