Whether to take on Power of Attorney for UK relative

Without any warning I've just received legal papers to sign for Lasting Power of Attorney for a close relative, UK national and UK resident with no Irish interests. (Edit I see now it is "substitute attourney", but my main question remains.)

Apart from the fact that they never specifically discussed this with me, that we are both in our mid-70's, that I have more health issues than they do, and rarely visit the UK, does it make sense - or is it advisable - for someone living in another country to have POA over your health and financial affairs?

Obviously I will need to contact them about this, so just trying to formulate my response in advance. It's a tricky one because although there is a more suitable uk based relative, I'm not sure they'd be prepared to ask them.

Talk to your relative.

The utter disrespect in not talking to you first alone would be enough for me to say no.

And even if you, in charity, disregard that; the fact that its a different jurisdiction & that you will 100% have to travel if called upon would be another good reason to say no.

EPOA isn't something to be taken lightly.

Edit to add: noting your age, again rules you out. It needs to be someone a generation below you.

mct1 said:

although there is a more suitable uk based relative, I'm not sure they'd be prepared to ask them.

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Well they didn't ask you either. You just got presented with an almost fait accompli!

mct1 said:

Obviously I will need to contact them about this, so just trying to formulate my response in advance.

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If I was in your shoes my response would be two words and the second would be "off".

And it would not be a one off thing to do but on going such as manage carehome issues, sale of property etc, medical care decisions.

I wondered if I was being unreasonavle but you've all confirmed my initial reaction that signing the POA is not a sensible idea. A while ago my relative asked if they could name me as next of kin in relation to their will, and I agreed to that, but nothing more.

DannyBoyD said:

It needs to be someone a generation below you.

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It should of course, but they aren't in touch with any - or with many people of any age as far as I know.

The solicitor asks that I contact her directly if I have any issues with the form, so I think that's what I shall do. I can explain my reasons for not signing, offer the suggestion of someone more suitable, and leave it with them.

Not disagreeing with any of the previous comments, but slightly playing devil's advocate.

It's a close relative. They previously asked if they could name you as 'next of kin' (whatever that means) in their will. Perhaps you are a beneficiary, maybe even the sole beneficiary, in their will. If so, they may take the view that you would, in acting as attorney, be protecting an estate that may well (ultimately) go to you and yours. Clear communication is what is lacking - possibly there is no discourtesy at all.

mct1 said:

name me as next of kin in relation to their will,

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This is meaningless; you'd best ask specifically if you have been appointed executor.

MOB said:

Not disagreeing with any of the previous comments, but slightly playing devil's advocate.

It's a close relative. They previously asked if they could name you as 'next of kin' (whatever that means) in their will. Perhaps you are a beneficiary, maybe even the sole beneficiary, in their will. If so, they may take the view that you would, in acting as attorney, be protecting an estate that may well (ultimately) go to you and yours.

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I also wondered if there might be some quid pro quo in the way of bequest but it would probably want to be very generous and guaranteed to take on the responsibilities involved.

Of course, if it was a close loved one that would be a different matter, but that doesn't seem to be the case here?

MOB said:

Not disagreeing with any of the previous comments, but slightly playing devil's advocate.

It's a close relative. They previously asked if they could name you as 'next of kin' (whatever that means) in their will. Perhaps you are a beneficiary, maybe even the sole beneficiary, in their will. If so, they may take the view that you would, in acting as attorney, be protecting an estate that may well (ultimately) go to you and yours. Clear communication is what is lacking - possibly there is no discourtesy at all.

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ClubMan said:

I also wondered if there might be some quid pro quo in the way of bequest but it would probably want to be very generous and guaranteed to take on the responsibilities involved.

Of course, if it was a close loved one that would be a different matter, but that doesn't seem to be the case here?

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I suspect you are both right, but we are comfortably off here, no kids and rest of family doing fine, so we don't need their money. No matter how generous the bequest, it would not justify the hassle involved.

On reflection, I think the relative in question simply isn't aware what the role involves. I am. My husband did it for his father (in the UK) this some years ago, and that was difficult enough, but for various reasons this would be ten times worse.

DannyBoyD said:

This is meaningless; you'd best ask specifically if you have been appointed executor.

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I hope not but I'll check with the solicitor. If the will is already made, presumably I could just renounce the role later rather than refuse it now.

mct1 said:

could just renounce the role later rather than refuse it now

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You could; but far better to do it now & your relative has an opportunity to redo the will and appoint another exec.