When to stop paying Maintenance!

lyonsie said:

So between Lou2 and Hanks09's replies I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. Any 'legal eagles' out there with experience of this.

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I fail to see how she is a dependant if she is earning 25K.

You've said she's almost 23 though - so no matter what you don't have very long left to pay maintenance.

If she's living at home, then she is benefitting from the maintenance you are paying either directly or indirectly.

Is it worth the hassle at this stage?

OP I don't know if you are divorced or judicially separated but the definition of a "dependent child of the family under the [broken link removed] is as follows:

"dependent member of the family", in relation to a spouse, or the spouses, concerned, means any child— ...

who is under the age of 18 years or if the child has attained that age—

(i) is or will be or, if an order were made under this Act providing for periodical payments for the benefit of the child or for the provision of a lump sum for the child, would be receiving full-time education or instruction at any university, college, school or other educational establishment and is under the age of 23 years, or

(ii) has a mental or physical disability to such extent that it is not reasonably possible for the child to maintain himself or herself fully;

lyonsie,
Just to let you know that your daughter's basic annual salary will increase to 31,875 as soon as she has registered with An Bord Altranais. There are extra payments for weekends & unsocial hours etc.

Once she's registered and no longer considered to be in full time education the requirement to maintain ceases; so her salary won't enter into it.

Good to know that Dad's support has helped her get a good career path though.

Looks like I will be paying until September, as she will be finished during that month. I have no doubt that she will successfully pass her placement with flying colours as she is (according to herself) always in the top of her class.
Can I put a fly in the ointment, and state that she wants to go further and do medicine next year, if she is offered a place. She will be going on 24 then so I assume I will no longer be expected to 'fork out'.
I will gladly give her funds, should I be in a position to do so, I just think her mother has squeezed me for enough. Especially as I am treated like the proverbial 'mushroom'......

Kildrought said:

Good to know that Dad's support has helped her get a good career path though.

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I wish to second that.

OP you have done your best for your daughter, when she's older she will see that. It's not easy to be a child between split up parents.

Thank you for your kind sentiments... Lets hope she does.

I just think her mother has squeezed me for enough

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She also seems to have done a reasonable job of raising your daughter...and your financial support would have been a big help in that.

Even if you were still married, the bulk of your salary would have been spent in supporting your children - it's what we do as parents and at the end of the day its only money, there's no pockets in a shroud.

You have a daughter to be proud of - that's surely worth more than anything else.

Back again Lou2 and Hank09..... Daughter has just received her final results (2:1) and I am bringing her out for lunch tomorrow to celebrate.....
I asked her today about being paid and she flatly denied this. She told me she gets 90euro per month towards travelling expenses, so where do the previous figures mentioned come in.
She had done her nursing through Trinity College and her placement in Tallaght Hospital.... Am I being led around the garden path (or wha!!!).
She says she can not earn until she registers with ABA in August, when she finishes her placement.
Anything further on this. Am I back to square one. I have decided to pay until Sept. But would like to have the facts.

I think you are perhaps being led about the garden path. She should be on her rostered placement at the moment. Students are sometimes paid a travel allowance alright, but not on rostered placement...this would be just for a non-rostered placement usually in 1st, 2nd or 3rd year. Why don't you ask her specifically if she is currently on rostered placement (or internship). With regard to not being able to earn until she registers with ABA....She can't earn as a staff nurse...but she can earn as a rostered student. She should be registering with ABA in September when her rostered placement is finished.

Thanks for that. Is there any way to know for def. as I am not going to be told. I know she is being more than economic with the truth, as she runs a car, has a good social life and has taken up horse-riding!!! All costly pursuits...
I am not going to make anyone pay or anything, I would just like to know for further reference as the time will arise when it would be very handy to have this information. And to be able to prove it.
Any of you out there student nurses, trained in Tallaght/James Hosp and now on rostered placement having gotten your final results last Tuesday, please help desperate 'mushroom' (father).
Could I contact the HSE or anyone.

Hi Lyonsie, Just to make the situation a little clearer, how much are you paying towards your daughter each month and what % is that of your income? From reading the thread it seems your issue lies more with the feeling that you are being ripped off rather than the money involved, correct me if I have taken this up wrong. Can you just clarify as well what a Mushroom father is? I have not heard this term before. Cheers, LS.

Mushroom treatment refers to being kept in the dark and fed full of....


daithi

lyonsie said:

Thanks for that. Is there any way to know for def. as I am not going to be told. I know she is being more than economic with the truth, as she runs a car, has a good social life and has taken up horse-riding!!! All costly pursuits...

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Have you asked here where the money for this is coming from?

Yes, its more the feeling of being ripped off than the money involved. I kept paying the maintenance when she quit college after a few weeks and took the year out and got herself a job in the bank 3 years ago.
I am still paying maintenance for her younger sister who also started a course last september and quit it after a few weeks also, and she is 18. She has had a job for the past year. I did not deny them their year out.
If I ask or queiry anything I am frozen out. It has been a very tough 10 years since I seperated and divorced their mother. I am just looking forward to having a relationship with my daughters without any other ulterior motive involved. I don't want them to be constantly watching what they say or do because of maintenance. My younger daughter has no interest in going to college but her mother is insisting on it!!!! and my daughter is under no illusion as to the reason why. She refers to herself as 'a milking cow'...
So I am looking forward to not paying maintenance any more for them, for quiet a different reason than most people think.
As to my eldest one, they would have me believe that her nursing course will not finish until next May, 2010 and she will not rock the boat and say anything different.
I just want someone to tell me the truth and unfortunately I need to be able to prove it too.

Lyonsie,

Why don't you contact the place where she did the course and find out when the course finishes. If she has graduated then she is no longer in full time education.

My understanding of maintenance is that once the child is 23 or is working then maintenance is no longer payable in respect of that child. If the child is a Fás apprentice then no maintenance is payable. If your daughter is in a paid placement then it would seem that no maintenance is payable. She is no longer is full time education and she is 23 then no maintenance is payable.

Lyonsie.......my niece is entering her final yr of nursing in Trinity and will be paid from January. Sorry but you are being lied to for no good reason. You have done your moral and legal bit, pity your ex doesn't have the same ethics. Shame on her for having your daughter lie to you. The following is from the Trinity website.

The Children's and General integrated course will consist of 58 weeks of unpaid practice placements along with a 36-week roster of continuous placement where you will be a paid health service employee. The rostered placement spans the fourth and fifth years of the course.

I don't want them to be constantly watching what they say or do because of maintenance.

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Have you considered this could be related to your attitude on the payment of maintenance?

My younger daughter has no interest in going to college but her mother is insisting on it!!!!

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Given the current economic climate, I would be feeling the same way...in our parents day the Leaving Cert was considered to be a 'good education'. Things have changed.

Lyonsie
Just a question I have. Is this young woman your daughter.