When or if to have a second child

He-Man said:

I do not want to have to work until I'm in my 60s or even 50s if I can avoid it. Also, note there is no social safety net where I am. I don't have PRSI or a state pension for example. And neither does my wife.

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Looking at your future expectations I think you'd be as well off to stick to the one child and forget about number two.

You'll not be able to retire in your 50's if you're rearing a family - college, marriages etc.

You posted on a public forum looking for opinions and now you're getting 'unsolicited perspectives'?!?

Welcome to the age of the internet fella!

as a mother and a woman, I'm looking at this from the female angle. your wife is 34 .from a purely physical health point of view she should have another child (if ye are going to do this) within the next two years. You are a primagravida after 35. ( it's not impossible but it does get harder. I know :/

It sounds corny but you won't regret having another child.
It's easy to move kids around until they are four. Once they start school not so easy.
Our kids see their grandparents at least once a week.its a lovely bond to have and in my opinion priceless. Ye have a great income. Ye sound like very responsible people and I admire you for wanting the best for your wife and children. If ye can handle the weather and the crap healthcare, Ireland is a great place to rear kids.
You cannot put a value on the bond with family and community. Good luck with whatever choice ye make.

Allow €100k for third level education for two kids imo. If they can attend college and live at home there are big savings to be made as rent, in my experience with two at college away from home, is the biggest expense.

If you can live mortgage free that’s a massive thing.

You are talking about moving back to Ireland in your late 30’s or early 40’s.

At that stage you can buy a house for €450k and put €100k into a pension. Keep the other €100k to hand and if you get sorted out with a job etc then you can put it into your pension later.

Remember that there is a social safety net here so the imperative to save is not so great. You will get children’s allowance and you get your wife’s tax credits. You will get an old age pension.

You are right to plan these things and to work towards having a low stress life financially but with a take-home income of around €1000 per week and no mortgage or childcare costs you will be well able to live very comfortably. I wouldn’t worry too much about retiring in your 50’s or 60’s. People like to work as they get older so maybe plan to work less but not retire. It doesn’t have to be one or the other.


You have lived away from home for years and in doing so have sacrificed time with family and friends but have put yourself in a position of relative financial security. Never apologise to anyone for that; hard work and sacrifice are things to be proud of. The fact that you live in a country with no social safety net means that you have to be more self reliant than people living in Ireland. That’s probably the reason some people here don’t get why you are planning and asking these questions.

Thank you Purple for your understanding and excellent advice.