What does an Executor do with an item of jewellery that two beneficiaries want?

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ReluctantExec

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I've been named as the executer of my sisters will. I was initially named executer a while back when she was widowed with 4 young children. The will was never updated, and the children are adults now.

In her will, she left all of “her property in every nature and description” to her 4 children “in equal shares as tenants in common”.

I’m leaving most (if not all) of the decisions up to the benefactors and that has been going well except for an item of jewellery. Two children would like the piece in question, and both are acting like kids again and are unwilling to let the other have it.

Can I as executor make a decision and give it to one of the children (the one who I think deserves it most)?

To comply with the will, I would deduct the value of it from her share so the other could not have any complaints.

For example, value of estate = 100,000 plus jewellery of 1000.

Can I split the estate as :
Child 1 €24,250 + Rings
Child 2 €25,250
Child 3 €25,250
Child 4 €25,250

Or do I have to dispose of the jewellery and give all an equal amount of €25,250 which would not have been what my sister wished.

Thanks for taking time to read,
RE.
 
Is the jewellery really of high value? Even if the stones & metal is real / good quality, resale values are often low.

If you believe it to be of high value, then I would get a valuation for sale (not insurance, different thing).

As these two people have reached adulthood - I think I would first ask them to come up with a proposal.

If you are able to sit down over a cuppa, thats the best way to start; then lay out the options

A. Item is sold per your valuation
B. Item given to sibling 1, with deduction per valuation
C. Item given to sibling 2, with deduction per valuation
D. They toss a coin, pick a card, whatever
E. If they can't agree on a solution, the choice will be yours and they'll have to live with it.

With any luck you won't get to option E.

I'm assuming these are Mum's wedding / engagement rings, so very important from a sentimental point of view.

If I had to make a choice, I'd give them to the eldest daughter.
 
Whenever I’ve come across this kind of thing before, it’s normally resolved by the interested beneficiaries bidding for the disputed item by way of sealed bids to the executor/solicitor.

The highest bidder gets the disputed item, with the proceeds going to the estate, to be distributed to the other beneficiaries as per the will.
 
Also if there are two rings, one potentially engagement and one wedding, surely they could each get one? Or melted down and made into two similar pieces of jewelry?
 
DannyBoyD said:
Is the jewellery really of high value? Even if the stones & metal is real / good quality, resale values are often low.

If you believe it to be of high value, then I would get a valuation for sale (not insurance, different thing).

As these two people have reached adulthood - I think I would first ask them to come up with a proposal.

If you are able to sit down over a cuppa, thats the best way to start; then lay out the options

A. Item is sold per your valuation
B. Item given to sibling 1, with deduction per valuation
C. Item given to sibling 2, with deduction per valuation
D. They toss a coin, pick a card, whatever
E. If they can't agree on a solution, the choice will be yours and they'll have to live with it.

With any luck you won't get to option E.

I'm assuming these are Mum's wedding / engagement rings, so very important from a sentimental point of view.

If I had to make a choice, I'd give them to the eldest daughter.
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Thanks for the response.

You're correct, it’s an engagement ring. The numbers I used were for ease of calculation. Realistically about €300 in an estate with a value of in excess of 400,000 so monetarily it won’t have much of affect on each other. It’s all sentimental value.

If I understand your post, then if they can’t work it out themselves then option “E” will allow me to decide on option “B” or “C”.

Thanks,
RE.
 
ReluctantExec said:
Can I as executor make a decision and give it to one of the children (the one who I think deserves it most)?

To comply with the will, I would deduct the value of it from her share so the other could not have any complaints.
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What would your sister want. She would want the ring given to the child she would have picked. And that is what you should do. Your sister would not have wanted the ring sold. Your job is to be fair, but also to carry out your sister's wishes.

As regards money, what you propose is very sensible.

In our family I was executor, we each took what my mother had said she would give to us, this applied to most of us, but not 2 of us including me. I was given something else. It never occurred to me to value the items and then deduct them from the family division after sale of property etc. We just did what we thought my mother wanted. The item I received I'd no idea of the value, but it turned out to be worth something as one of my siblings checked up on it later. (3K) It is of sentimental value to me.

It's a sorry situation to be an executor of a sibling, particularly given she was a widow.
 
Bronte said:
value the items and then deduct them
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Most household items & jewellery are of low value.

In the normal course of events I wouldn't do an adjustment for €300, but in this instance it might help mitigate the situation.
 
DannyBoyD said:
In the normal course of events I wouldn't do an adjustment for €300, but in this instance it might help mitigate the situation.
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Your sentiment makes sense but it's surprising how petty people can be. I would always recommend adjusting for transparency.
 
My sisters had a draw for my mother's rings. The lads had no interest. Their value was not added to the estate as such. They were worth about 800 euro. Tell them to do something similar and sort it among themselves.
 
misemoi said:
Also if there are two rings, one potentially engagement and one wedding, surely they could each get one? Or melted down and made into two similar pieces of jewelry?
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Sorry it took so long to respond but as a new user, I think I might have to wait 2 hours between posts.

Unfortunately, just the one ring.

Making 2 pieces from the one ring was an alternative that was proposed but unfortunately both want "the ring" and neither is willing to entertain any of the reasonable suggestions.

In my opinion it should go to one who did most of the looking after while she was alive. It looks like the other will just have to to accept it.

Thanks,
RE.
 
ReluctantExec said:
Sorry it took so long to respond but as a new user, I think I might have to wait 2 hours between posts.

Unfortunately, just the one ring.

Making 2 pieces from the one ring was an alternative that was proposed but unfortunately both want "the ring" and neither is willing to entertain any of the reasonable suggestions.

In my opinion it should go to one who did most of the looking after while she was alive. It looks like the other will just have to to accept it.

Thanks,
RE.
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I am going to be cynical about that. Are you sure who did the most?
 
It’s so tough for you. I’m an eldest daughter. It would have been very unfair if I was preferred because of age. Don’t do the eldest daughter thing. It’s probably men suggesting this solution.
 
DeeKie said:
It’s so tough for you. I’m an eldest daughter. It would have been very unfair if I was preferred because of age. Don’t do the eldest daughter thing. It’s probably men suggesting this solution.
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BIt of a daft inference there.

If the offspring can't be adults & make a decision; then exec has to - no matter what choice is made someone will be unhappy.
 
My Mum passed recently. Lots of jewellery, some nice pieces, quite a few valuable ones. I'm the Executor. Three beneficiaries, my siblings and I, 1 daughter, 2 boys. My wife was very good to my Mum, siblings live abroad. While I'd have liked my wife to had a few pieces of the jewellery, we let my sister take all of it save one piece each for my wife and my brother's wife. I wasn't hugely happy, but life is too short for animosity over "things". I didn't value anything or adjust the three way share of inheritance, it would ha e felt petty.
 
The executor of my mother's estate allowed my sister, one of the beneficiaries, to choose anything she wanted first from the house, (his wife). Then their children had next choice before myself and my brother were brought in to the discussion. Jewellery disppeared. That was 10 years ago and we haven't spoken since. Greed and entitlement is a terrible thing.
 
ReluctantExec said:
Sorry it took so long to respond but as a new user, I think I might have to wait 2 hours between posts.

Unfortunately, just the one ring.

Making 2 pieces from the one ring was an alternative that was proposed but unfortunately both want "the ring" and neither is willing to entertain any of the reasonable suggestions.

In my opinion it should go to one who did most of the looking after while she was alive. It looks like the other will just have to to accept it.

Thanks,
RE.
Click to expand...
That's a very sensible decision. Well done you. Many people have no idea what an onerous task being an executor is.
 
Let both of them put a cash value on it and reduce their cash share accordingly. They can convert the sentimental value into a cash value. That may show who wants it the most.
 
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