Wednesday true story

S

Simeon

Guest


If you didn't see this on the Tonight
show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it.
This is probably the
funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! Many of us have had bad dates,
but this takes the biscuit.
Jay Leno went into the audience to find the
most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had.
The winner described
her worst first date experience.
There was absolutely no question as to why
her tale took the prize!

She said it was midwinter... snowing and quite
cold...and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City.
It was a day trip (no overnight).
They were strangers, after
all, and truly had never met before.
The outing was fun, the skiing great,
the coffee hot.
The day was uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon.
They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually
began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte.
They were a 2 hr drivefrom anywhere with a rest room and, to top it off, they
were in the middle of nowhere! Her companion recognized her discomfort, and
suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because
of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he
had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of
his car.
They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked
her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so
she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion
stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real
gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief
she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation. Upon finishing
however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up
her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the
car's fender!
Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to
mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly
apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold. Horrified by
her plight and yet aware of the humour of the moment, she answered her date's
concerns about 'what is taking so long' with a reply that indeed, she was
'freezing her butt off' and in need of some assistance! He came around the car
as she tried t o cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked
imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and
when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her
dilemma.
Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were
faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her
chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her
into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was
only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first-time
date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her bottom off the fender. As the
audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or
perhaps that should be 'pants down.'

'Did you ever see the young man
again?' asked Mr. Leno. 'I married him,' was the reply. 'He's sitting right here
next to me.'
 
True me This post will be deleted if not edited to remove bad language.

They were up to kinky urophiliac subzero roadside shenanigans and needed an elaborate cover story. They can't fool me.
 
True me This post will be deleted if not edited to remove bad language.

They were up to kinky urophiliac subzero roadside shenanigans and needed an elaborate cover story. They can't fool me.

This has been floating around for years, urban myth, Leno denied it was ever on his show. Sorry!
 
I had anticipated that it was such. But, like all yarns, it's funny. And most yarns, as told, have only a smidgeon of truth. It's the embellishment that provides the best laugh.