Value of wedding gift

[johnd]

My sister's daughter is getting married soon and our family of 5 adults have been invited. The couple have their owm home and my sister has said they wouild like cash gifts insteads. Problem is how much is to give? Anyone got any ideas?

 

[Guest117]

Completely depends on your own circumstances but a suggestion is to get one card and each one of the five put in an agreed amount depending on what you can afford. That way they get a nice lump sum rather that 5 small gifts

 

[Caveat]

From what I've heard €200 seems to be regarded as a minimum for e.g. a couple.

Seems a bit much to me TBH.

 

[theoneill]

Personally I wouldn’t go higher than e100, and if it were my wedding I would not expect anyone to pay more than that either.

Over the next 2 years I will attend 4 weddings and they are all getting the same amount.

 

[shaking]

we got married recently and received €200 from each of our aunts & uncles (as in per couple)

 

[johnd]

Really! We were thinking of 500 between us as the meal would surely cost at least 80 euro each, never mind the band or disco etc? Would 500 euro look too flashy?

 

[theoneill]

Really! We were thinking of 500 between us as the meal would surely cost at least 80 euro each, never mind the band or disco etc? Would 500 euro look too flashy?

Any chance you want to come to my wedding?

 

[shaking]

Thats about what we got one aunt & husband gave us €200 then their eldest son (in his 30's) and wife gave us €200. So €500 from 5 adults sounds about right

 

[annR]

I think that would be the norm but I still wouldn't feel I had to give that if I couldn't afford it. So up to yourself really.

 

[rmelly]

There's 5 of them going, so I think it has to be (at least) €500, possibly with more from than 100 each from the parents (assuming 2 parents and 3 adult children) depending on how close to the niece.

 

[johnd]

Thank you all for your replies. Yes, there are 2 parents + 3 adult children and we are close to them so 500 + small gift seems right. Thank you all.

 

[LFC Murphy]

Completely depends on your own circumstances but a suggestion is to get one card and each one of the five put in an agreed amount depending on what you can afford. That way they get a nice lump sum rather that 5 small gifts

Can I make one suggestion based on past experience. Buy a seperate card as is can be frowned upon to "pool together" I say this with experience as my sister inlaw who received a similar gift from family members. She was quite upset (behind closed doors) that her family couldn't be bothered to get seperate cards, and it's not about the money.

At the end of the day give what you can afford and get a nice card.

My two cents.

 

[doll]

usually its the price of your meal you pay for approx, so between 50 and 60 pps, so just say about €250 or so from all of you... i suppose... been to lots of weddings inc my own and that is decent

 

[DavyJones]

I find the current trend to request cash gifts highly distasteful, the aim seems to be to have the guests pay for the wedding and turn a profit.

I'm guessing you haven't paid for a wedding recently. No amout of cash gift's from your family and friends would ever turn a profit at a wedding. Most couples now live together before marriage and have homes that have toasters, casserole dishes, picture frames, slow cookers, the list go's on. requesting cash is a bit naff though as most people will give you money anyway. weddings are very expensive if you want to stay in Ireland so money is the best gift to off-set expenditure.

 

[DeeFox]

I think the "going rate" is €100 per person for a wedding. I think it is very distasteful handing over envelopes of cash but understand that it is what couples usually want and that it makes it easier for everyone. I do know of one couple who asked for "either travel vouchers or Brown Thomas vouchers" - they said the travel vouchers worked particularly well because guests were delighted to hear (sometimes years later!) where they went and how they got on. But I know this wouldn't suit a lot of people.

 

[SarahMc]

She was quite upset (behind closed doors) that her family couldn't be bothered to get seperate cards, and it's not about the money.

Yes it is for the OP's niece. They have been told to give hard cash. I'd give a toaster/slow cooker/duvet cover (between you) as revenge for the crassness of asking for cash!

 

[PADDYBOY99]

We got married recently and most couples gave between 150 - 200 euro. 500 euro between you all sounds about right.

 

[Trent]

Yes it is for the OP's niece. They have been told to give hard cash. I'd give a toaster/slow cooker/duvet cover (between you) as revenge for the crassness of asking for cash!

I'd give a voucher rather than something that could turn out to be useless. Although something like a crystal vase or centre piece is always an addition to a home. I agree that it's cheeky to ask for cash and would tend not to give cash in this case just to make a point.

In response to another post, why would anyone care that a family has pooled together on a card?

 

[Cahir]

I'd give a voucher rather than something that could turn out to be useless. Although something like a crystal vase or centre piece is always an addition to a home. I agree that it's cheeky to ask for cash and would tend not to give cash in this case just to make a point.

In response to another post, why would anyone care that a family has pooled together on a card?

A crystal vase or centre piece is a really bad gift idea. Gifts like this tend to end up in charity shops or gathering dust in the attic.

 

[Trent]

A crystal vase or centre piece is a really bad gift idea. Gifts like this tend to end up in charity shops or gathering dust in the attic.

Then just a voucher. If they specifically ask for cash, then don't give it. My point was that people have no right to ask for cash, nor do you have any obligation to give it.