IrishGunner
Registered User
- Messages
- 942
With all the turmoil in the market today and the collapse of Lehman
Bros and Acquisition of Merrill Lynch by Bank of America this might be
some good advice. For all of you with any money left, be aware of the
next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and
make some BIG bucks.
Watch for these consolidations in later this year:
1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W R. Grace Co. Will merge and become:
Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.
2.) Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become:
Poly, Warner Cracker.
3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become:
MMMGood.
4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will
merge and become:
ZipAudiDoDa .
5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become:
FedUP.
6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become:
Fairwell Honeychild.
7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become:
PouponPants.
8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will
become:
Knott NOW!
And finally...
9. Victoria 's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name:
TittyTittyBangBang
And on a footnote
If you had purchased €1000 of Northern Rock shares one year ago it would now be worth €4.95.
With HBOS, earlier this week your €1000 would have been worth €16.50 .
1000 invested in XL Leisure would now be worth less than €5.
But if you bought €1000 worth of Dutch Gold, one year ago, drank it all, then took the empty cans to an aluminium re-cycling plant, you would get €214. So based on the above statistics the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and re-cycle
Bros and Acquisition of Merrill Lynch by Bank of America this might be
some good advice. For all of you with any money left, be aware of the
next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and
make some BIG bucks.
Watch for these consolidations in later this year:
1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W R. Grace Co. Will merge and become:
Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.
2.) Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become:
Poly, Warner Cracker.
3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become:
MMMGood.
4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will
merge and become:
ZipAudiDoDa .
5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become:
FedUP.
6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become:
Fairwell Honeychild.
7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become:
PouponPants.
8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will
become:
Knott NOW!
And finally...
9. Victoria 's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name:
TittyTittyBangBang
And on a footnote
If you had purchased €1000 of Northern Rock shares one year ago it would now be worth €4.95.
With HBOS, earlier this week your €1000 would have been worth €16.50 .
1000 invested in XL Leisure would now be worth less than €5.
But if you bought €1000 worth of Dutch Gold, one year ago, drank it all, then took the empty cans to an aluminium re-cycling plant, you would get €214. So based on the above statistics the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and re-cycle