urgent replacement passport needed for travel

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Can anyone please help me, am in dire straits !!!!
I have a UK passport but have lived in ireland since 5 years of age, am now 32 and was at the airport this morning meaning to travel to the USA only to be told that my passport was not machine readable (i.e. handwritten old form) and could not travel. Have had to re-arrange flights to Tuesday next week and am in a panic this weekend as UK embassy is closed.
Here are my concerns :-
If I go on Monday to Embassy will they issue a passport enabling me to travel next day ?
If the above not possible then how easy is it to get a visa for travel to USA the next day from the US Embassy
And if neither above possible then how easy is it to get an irish passport on Monday for travel next day, ps my Mother has an irish passport but is from Guyana and my father (parents divorced) is Irish, what documents would I need also to obtain the irish passport.
All help gratefully appreciated and before you say it I was stupid !!!!!!!! for not checking beforehand
Many thanks
Tony
 
You could try having a read thru and see if you find anything useful there.

Would anything in this thread help? There is a key post on passports here

You could also have a read [broken link removed]
 
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