Updating will

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phoenix53

Registered User
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HI

We need to update our will as our children are no longer minors. In fact, we should have updated it before as they are now 23 and 29.

Everything will be left equally between them.

Should we name one or both of them as executors or should we name a trusted nephew to be executor? You hear of so many fallings out over wills that I'm wondering if an independent executor would be better? Is Power of Attorney a completely separate role to an executor? I'm assuming it is. Should we name one of our children as Power of Attorney or can/should they both do it?

I understand from asking here before that we can go to a solicitor, draw up the will, pay for the service and then take the will with us. We do not need to leave it with the solicitor. Is this still the case?

Thank you.
 
phoenix53 said:
Power of Attorney a completely separate role to an executor
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Yes.

Are you confusing this with an Enduring Power of Attorney?

Start with your will first. You can appoint both your children as execs if you wish. Being an exec is pretty demanding & the best way you can avoid future fall out is to be very clear in your will.

If you have sentimental items that you would like one or other child to have, you can include that in your letter of wishes.

My last bit of advice, having now cleared 5 houses after a death is to have an annual clear out & get rid of stuff you no longer use or need.
 
PoA is for when you are alive, Executor is after you have passed. Persoanally, and I'm speaking of where we put a PoA in place for my Mam a few years back, she named both of us for that and that was our idea, so there was always going to be transperancy. (We did trust each other but so many stories)

Assuming both your kids live in Ireland and being an Executor is not going to present too many logistical challenges, I'd name both.

In terms of clearing stuff out though, check with the kids first, when we were clearing Mams house out, it was a little disappointing to see what she had gotten rid of over the years.
 
I would definitely name both kids (so to speak) as executors, assuming you choose not to go down the stranger route.

If it transpires, hopefully a long time away, that it suits one more than the other to fulfil the role the other can renounce their right to act, or even reserve their right if they don't want to renounce.

My sibling reserved rather than renounced, at my suggestion. Time availability was at issue for them at the material time.
 
Thank you all for the replies.

We need to educate ourselves on Power of Attorney and Enduring Power of Attorney. But transparency is important to us as you do hear so many stories where families have fallen out over things like this.

We will name both as executors.

The will should be straight forward enough as the estate is to be divided between them both equally. I have a few bits and bobs that I would like to pass to nieces in particular and we have a godchild each that we will leave a couple of bob to. I think we might do this earlier so that is that out of the way and might be of use to them now.

I will also ask the kiddos if there is anything in particular they would like and either give it to them or make sure they are both aware of what is theirs.

With regard to the clearing out stuff, much to the dismay of my friends, I've been reading a book about the tradition of Swedish Death Cleaning which is literally cleaning out your life of excess stuff before you kick the bucket. Like you DannyboyD, I too have cleared out a couple of houses and it is hard to throw out items that obviously meant so much to others but nothing to those left behind. I've started this process but have trouble thowing out information, ie, documents, photos, statements, magazines etc. Its just a thing of mine that I need to get my head around.

With regard to taking the will from the Solicitors, is that the norm or do people leave it with them?
 
"With regard to taking the will from the Solicitors, is that the norm or do people leave it with them?'"

This is a matter of personal choice. In my experience, 99% of people leave the original with the Solicitors and take a copy away with them.

mf1
 
We made new wills recently, Solicitor advised that even leaving everything equally between our children that it is always a good idea to have it noted on our medical records that we are of sound mind. Next time we were at the GP that was done. It could never then be argued that we were not of sound mind making the wills.

With regard to taking the wills, we took the originals, Solicitor gave them to us in an envelope with their contact details stamped all over it
 
phoenix53 said:
documents...statements
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A word of caution on anything that has personal information on it; don't chuck it in the recycling, make sure its securely destroyed.

I use these papers to start my fire / stove; after a time you get very adept at dealing with stuff as soon as it comes in the door.
 
Once again, thanks for all your replies.

I think I would prefer to have the original will in our possession. I'll let the executors know where to find it. Along with our house deeds.

Yes, DannyBoyD, trying to shred stuff as it enters the house. Mind you when I retired recently, I was able to produce a document from 1989 that made a difference to how my pension was treated. It went from broken service to unbroken service all because I could produce the document. So not such a bad habit in that case.
 
phoenix53 said:
original will in our possession. I'll let the executors know where to find it. Along with our house deeds
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Scan a copy also; and dont forget your digital legacy. Email, social media, laptop, phone etc.

For what its worth a personal letter of thanks & good wishes included in all this stuff can make the world of difference to the person who has to open that envelope.
 
Everyone should read Swedish Death Cleaning. A fantastic book. You do not mention what sex your children are? While leaving everything equally is important to you jewellery can often be the cause of disagreements. My will states that my daughter is to get my jewellery. This is just a family tradition. It is also important to keep a running total of bank accounts, number of shares (including splits etc) on a separate sheet of paper with your will. Also for digital transactions passwords too. The RNLI offer a free will service with participating solicitors in lieu of a donation.
 
phoenix53 said:
but have trouble thowing out information, ie, documents, photos, statements, magazines etc. Its just a thing of mine that I need to get my head around.
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Big problem with us here. We have rooms full of sentimental stuff belonging to our children and grand children.

I remember seeing a TV programme about someone who lived on a houseboat. They had a rule, one item in, one item out.

This is something that we do now. Bought some new clothing items.....I really had trouble throwing out some of my old clothes. Normally these items were relegated to "gardening clothes". However I realised that I had more gardening clothes than good clothes.

We have 4 reception rooms full of furniture, looks good if a little dated. I can't dispose of this furniture now because then I will have empty soul less rooms just to walk through.
 
Silversurfer said:
The RNLI offer a free will service with participating solicitors in lieu of a donation.
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Absolutely crazy to treat such a crucial matter as a will as akin to a charity shop purchase.

I know of a family where the parents paid £50 to get a will done and 15/20 years later the kids had to stump up €60,000 to the same solicitor to get it processed, on foot of a temporary spike in property values and a few other minor complications which collectively meant it was difficult for them to switch to another solicitor.
 
Solicitors write the wills. RNLI receive the donation. All wills should be updated on a regular basis. A lot can happen in 15 to 20 years.
 
Silversurfer said:
Solicitors write the wills. RNLI receive the donation. All wills should be updated on a regular basis. A lot can happen in 15 to 20 years.
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We know that.

My point is that an individual or couple making a will should exercise extreme care in selecting a solicitor to assist them in doing so. Participation in a marketing scheme to benefit a charity is I'd argue incompatible with that.

Of course wills should be updated regularly, but in the real world this often does not happen. And the updating of a will of itself affords scant protection against a rogue solicitor if the person making it hasn't done due diligence on them.
 
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At the risk of going off topic who is ‘We’? How would you suggest doing due diligence of a solicitor vis a vis a solicitor offering his services for a charity he supports?
 
Silversurfer said:
How would you suggest doing due diligence of a solicitor vis a vis a solicitor offering his services for a charity he supports?
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I'd suggest that when it comes to making wills, people should ignore marketing gimmicks, and instead deal with the most reliable and trustworthy solicitor they can find. If they want to support the lifeboats or the dogs and cats home, do so separately.

If someone is offering to do sensitive and important work for free, they're most likely either foolish and thus unlikely to last long in business, or have an ulterior motive.
 
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Credit unions used to offer a reduced rate will service. I thought it was a great idea to encourage people to actually do a will. So the RNLI service is a winner in my book.

As MF1 stated, the actual wills are left with the drafting solicitor in most cases, for very good reason. It’s a safe place for them. Because solicitors have records and more importantly a fire safe. My solicitor moved firms recently and I’ve requested our wills follow.

There is an issue, sometimes, of the holding solicitor of wills, wanting a fee, if you don’t want to use them.
 
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