S
Spuds
Guest
Hi All,
Am looking for some advice or maybe someone who has been in same position.
Myself and my OH (unmarried) decided to build our own house, my father gave me an acre site beside my home house, at the time my father didnt want any of his land to be sold off in the event of it backfiring, as you can understand, so the 3 of us signed something in the solicitors office, i'm not sure but think it was called a Declaration of Trust in where if we ever separated i would buy out his half of the house but i would always live in the house. As far as i can remember the land was put into my name but the mortgage is in both our names. We were all happy with the agreement, my OH did put alot of money into the house himself getting bits done here and there i would say about €30,000 or so, my father also put money into the house approx €80,000 as it was my inheritance. My father passed away suddenly 2 months before we moved into the house, but from there it went downhill, we've gone through 17 months of grief on my part, spoilt as a child on his part (everything was done for him). He is quite fond of drinking with his friends and doesnt often come home at the weekends, I found out after a few months of watching our bills that money was going missing, later turned out to be a Gambling Addiction, we tried to work through that,even though there is quite a bit of debt to be paid off at the minute, at the same time my family business is not going well due to current downturn, therefore i might not have a job in the future. I can just about afford the mortgage, my wage pays all our bills and i reply on him giving my money as my own to spend...he doesnt always give me money, there was a long while where he didnt give me any, but he did put alot of money into the house at the start, I would never be able to afford the current mortgage on my own let alone buy out his half, which i think is half of what the house is valued at today??? In good times it was valued at €565,000.
Basically i cant see a way out for me to have a happier life, we have been together 10 years and it has only been like this since we moved in together 15 months ago...i have finally realised i can't help him anymore and need to make myself happy but dont know where to turn...can anybody give me any advice...thanks in advance
Am looking for some advice or maybe someone who has been in same position.
Myself and my OH (unmarried) decided to build our own house, my father gave me an acre site beside my home house, at the time my father didnt want any of his land to be sold off in the event of it backfiring, as you can understand, so the 3 of us signed something in the solicitors office, i'm not sure but think it was called a Declaration of Trust in where if we ever separated i would buy out his half of the house but i would always live in the house. As far as i can remember the land was put into my name but the mortgage is in both our names. We were all happy with the agreement, my OH did put alot of money into the house himself getting bits done here and there i would say about €30,000 or so, my father also put money into the house approx €80,000 as it was my inheritance. My father passed away suddenly 2 months before we moved into the house, but from there it went downhill, we've gone through 17 months of grief on my part, spoilt as a child on his part (everything was done for him). He is quite fond of drinking with his friends and doesnt often come home at the weekends, I found out after a few months of watching our bills that money was going missing, later turned out to be a Gambling Addiction, we tried to work through that,even though there is quite a bit of debt to be paid off at the minute, at the same time my family business is not going well due to current downturn, therefore i might not have a job in the future. I can just about afford the mortgage, my wage pays all our bills and i reply on him giving my money as my own to spend...he doesnt always give me money, there was a long while where he didnt give me any, but he did put alot of money into the house at the start, I would never be able to afford the current mortgage on my own let alone buy out his half, which i think is half of what the house is valued at today??? In good times it was valued at €565,000.
Basically i cant see a way out for me to have a happier life, we have been together 10 years and it has only been like this since we moved in together 15 months ago...i have finally realised i can't help him anymore and need to make myself happy but dont know where to turn...can anybody give me any advice...thanks in advance