Translating Estate Agent Gruff

no doubt if house prices fall it will just be a 'correction'
 
No - a soft landing. Which is probably a feature of the upstairs of some of the properties on sale too!
 
damson said:
But then you have Green Valley Properties (main region = west of Ireland) who don't bother with the flowery language...
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I think they were inspired by that British (English?) bloke who took a no nonsense approach to describing properties that he sold years ago. Contradictorily I can't remember his name but he's sort of famous in the field for it.
 
On the radio recently was a new development being advertised under the guise. 'You could be living the dream in Monasterevin !'
 
"Rare opportunity to acquire superb three bedroom semi-detached home in this ever-popular residential estate"
-Funny, the market seems to be flooded at the moment.
 
Prepare to be mesmerized by this stunning 4-bed end of terrace located in one of Lucan’s most prestigious areas. Behind the door of this magnificent home lies a breath-taking interior. Current owners have spared no time /imagination or expense on their home, the new occupiers need only hang their hat. Accommodation includes hallway, living room, kitchen, and 4 large bedrooms. Within walking distance to Lucan village with an array of fine hostelries/restaurants. Viewings highly recommended for this stunning family home with a much sought after address.


Do these estate agents just cut-n-paste descriptions? This is beyond a joke. For around 1% commission, they should a least do something original. I would be outraged at this.
 
I think the mods deleted a post thinking it was a repost. I am highlighting the similarities only.

Prepare to be mesmerized by this stunning 3-bed duplex located in one of lucan best kept secrets. Behind the door of this magnificent home lies a breath-taking interior. Current owners have spared no time /imagination or expense on their home, the new occupiers need only hang their hat. Accommodation includes hallway, living room, kitchen with balcony, 3 large bedrooms, within walking distance to Lucan village with an array of fine hostelries/restaurants. Viewings highly recommended.

However, I was checking today, and there is another house on the market with the same agent and it only says..

Description to follow

Perhaps the EA's are reading this and getting the message.
 
redo said:
However, I was checking today, and there is another house on the market with the same agent and it only says..

Description to follow

Perhaps the EA's are reading this and getting the message.
Click to expand...
Alas, it has been updated with.....


prepare to be mesmerized by this stunning 4-bed end of terrace located in one of Lucan’s most prestigious areas. Behind the door of this magnificent home lies a breath-taking interior. Current owners have spared no time /imagination or expense on their home, the new occupiers need only hang their hat. Accommodation includes hallway, living room, kitchen, and 4 large bedrooms. Within walking distance to Lucan village with an array of fine hostelries/restaurants. Viewings highly recommended for this stunning family home.

NOTE : This is not a repost, it's an an add for a different property, yet the whole thing is identical !!
 
redo - why not email the EA in question and ask them about the similar descriptions and let us know how it goes? Feel free to post links to the properties in question too.
 
CAUTION : These links may mesmerize and leave you breathless. Viewer descresion advised.

[broken link removed]

[broken link removed]

[broken link removed]
 

Redo, this wasn't Sherry-Fitz by any chance, was it? All of their descriptions are like this. I think they send their staff on training courses in Guff!

We bought our place from them, and our house was prepared with "interior designer flare" and a "perfectionist's touch"! Now, yes, it looked ok, but we've just spent 6 months painting over this designer flare!
 
Ooh actually I've found another one with Sherry Fitz which has obviously used the same interior design skills!!

[broken link removed]

[broken link removed]

(This one has one of their fave expressions: Once you have viewed this property your house hunting days will be over.)

Another one using one of our phrases - quite the disciplinarian on glowing presentation!! (WTF?!?!):

[broken link removed]

And just gotta include this one:

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(Family attention pours out = i.e. banjaxed by the kids!!!)
 
The descriptions on houses in Walkinstown always say" "Terenure on your doorstep"
[broken link removed]

This house in particular is next door to St Pauls Girls School Greenhills, yet the description only mentions Our Ladys Templeogue, I'm sure they are hoping no-one will notice where they are, and just believe they are in Terenure
 
"Has anyone else been out to see the property?"

"Oh yes, theres been several viewings, with one couple back for a second visit already."

Found Sherry Fitz to be extremely pushy when recently purchasing. They added to already high stress levels by regularly phoning to get us to hurry the close using sentences like "the seller is getting anxious and is thinking of pulling out of the deal".

Found out after from a mutual friend of ours and the seller that we were the first to view and that the seller was always happy the deal was going to go through.
 
redo said:
CAUTION : These links may mesmerize and leave you breathless. Viewer descresion advised.

[broken link removed]

[broken link removed]

[broken link removed]
Click to expand...

[broken link removed]
 
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