threats of charges of kidnapping from abusive ex

E

evac

Guest
Hi everyone,

I'm in a really awkward, horrible situation. I had a daughter with my boyfriend at the time, who turned out to be very abusive and violent. I've had a barring order against him, and assault charges (that i later dropped). However when we went to court we got joint custody of her. That was over a year ago. Since then he has made no effort, barely any contact, he hasnt paid a penny of maintenance that the court ordered him to pay. He's been in jail for a few months aswel i believe over assault charges or something along them lines. He contacted me a few days ago and of course i said he couldn't take her. After all she doesnt even know him he's a complete stranger to her. So then he send me txts threatening to 'murder my family' , 'get me shot' and so on. Very violent. The next day he tells me he was on drugs sayin that. And he was shocked when i still said i won't let him near my daughter. Now he's threatenin me with kidnapping charges because i took my daughter on holidays wihout telling him, and i also moved house and he does not know my new address. Can he really get me done for kidnapping because we have joint custody?? Please somebody help me bacause i don't have a clue about these things..Thanks
 
Can he really get me done for kidnapping because we have joint custody
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Highly unlikely he will get anyone to pay attention to him with this nonsense.

However, should he pursue it through the courts, he is likely to be granted access to his daughter.
 
If he has sent you texts threatening you and your family, report him to the Guards, show them the texts.
 
Ah thanks very much for your help, makes me feel much better, he just terrifies me... Erm regarding access i think he automatically has access anytime he wants because he's joint custody. Can't bring him to court for maintenance because I have no address for him, he keeps moving... to be honest I dont even want the money I'd just love for him to leave us both alone... He tells me that he was talkin to his guidance counsillor and the police and they're both telling him to get me charged with kidnapping...as you say there's no such thing so obviously all lies just to scare me...thanks very much for the help, much appreciated.
 
evac said:
He tells me that he was talkin to his guidance counsillor and the police...
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Ask for the name of the guard that has recommended this - I will bet there is not one at all.

Please go to the guards yourself re the threatening text messages and get it on record.
 
Even though some of the lies he is telling you are plainly not true (him talking to the police etc) some of his threats have to be taken very seriously by you. You have mentioned drug taking, jail time, barring order and a charge for assalt that you dropped. You should report any threats he makes against you to the police, keep a log of everything. Is it necessary for you to have any contact with him, how does he have your telephone number etc? Have you asked your solicitor to explain to you what joint custody means and also asked for advice on how you can deal with someone who is abusive and violent. You need professional advice.
 
Thats the thing I have no solicitor to talk to And as for him knowing my phone number that's the only way of contact for him, I'm afraid if i change my number he will try find where I live.. and that would be a disaster...but I think you're right I should go to the police put everything on record, because I'm sick of living like this in constant fear.
 
If you cannot afford a private solicitor, get yourself to your nearest legal aid centre. There may be a waiting list, but best to get yourself on it. You need some clear advice about your childs' rights and what you can look for yourself before ceding access.
 
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