- they broke the law - but i still owe

well, if you cannot prove the bank called the builder then you have no case against them on that score. There are several ways you can try to get proof... but if you don't have a good relationship with either the bank or the builder then it may be impossible. So you'll have to let that slide.

You should make written notes now if you haven't done so already. Write down times and dates of calls, to whom, and what was said. Ring the bank, tell them that such and such an individual rang the buiilder on such and such a date, and informed him of your circumstances... you have to get them to confirm that... otherwise all is lost.

Also ring the builder, get him to confirm that he was contacted by the bank...

I would record all calls... this may be considered underhand but if people will say things that they won't put into writing then it is your only choice... This may not be acceptable in a court of law but it's hard to deny a recording... so it may help with an out of court settlement.

The builder hasn't broken a contract apparently, he has simply refused to provide more work.

so i am screwed

Do banks in Ireland have internal complains procedures, if so, ask your bank to send their complains form. On it say that you are aware that they have broke the data protection act by calling an outside person regarding your personal personal data, also when the loan was taken out was there any kind of condition attached to it, is so, look at them and see what its say.

Also, keep all record of all your telephone calls ie your itemised bill from your provider this will provide evidence that you have made the calls.

Also complain to the Data Protection Office about this breach of Data Protection as this will give you more clout in court.

Put everything in writing as phone calls are not taken as evidence.

It appears that your loan was not secured on your home therefore it will be safe in that respect. You should seek advice about have the family home transferred into your wife's name to make sure that nobody can take it away from your family, which at the end of the day is the most important thing.

Best of Luck