The Darker Side Of Women

L

Lex Foutish

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A woman was in town on a shopping trip. She began her day finding the most perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on sale in the second. In the third, everything had just been reduced by 50 percent when her mobile phone rang. It was a female doctor notifying her that her husband had just been in a terrible car accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU.

The woman told the doctor to inform her husband where she was and that she'd be there as soon as possible. As she hung up she realised she was leaving what was shaping up to be her best day ever in the boutiques. She decided to get in a couple of more shops before heading to the hospital. She ended up shopping for the rest of the morning, finishing her trip with a cup of coffee and a beautiful chocolate cake slice, compliments of the last shop. She was jubilant.

Then she remembered her husband. Feeling guilty, she dashed to the hospital. She saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about her husband's condition. The lady doctor glared at her and shouted, 'You went ahead and finished your shopping trip, didn't you! I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself in town, your husband has been languishing in the Intensive Care Unit! It's just as well you went ahead and finished because it will more than likely be the last shopping trip you ever take! For the rest of his life he will require round-the-clock care. And he will now be your career!'

The woman was feeling so guilty that she broke down and burst into tears. The lady doctor then chuckled and said, 'I'm just pulling your leg. He's dead. Now, show me what you bought!'
 
Lol ... what did she buy anyhow? As a by the by the etymology of the word "woman" in the 1600's was "woe man." Apparently it was all downhill after Eve bit the French golden delicious and offered Adam a piece. Man has never let her forget it!
 
Trust a man to be so longwinded.

Cut to the chase, for God's sake, show us the shoes and dress.
 
thedaras said:
Lex the joke was brilliant, Vanillas answer above was so funny.
Definitely post of the year
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Hi Thedaras. I got it by email from a lady friend. Now that I think of it, I haven't seen her husband for a few weeks...............
 
Great joke. Heard a men's version of this whereby the husband is playing the round of his life when he gets the bad news. The doctor says "Only kidding, she's dead, but tell me.."what did you shoot?".

Nice reply too Vanilla.
 
DrMoriarty said:
Ahem. Post of the year in 2007?

Interestingly, Vanilla's response was pretty much the same then, too...
Click to expand...

Since we're digging up old jokes by DrM here's by favourite:

An Englishman is being shown around a Scottish hospital.

At the end of his visit, he is shown into a ward with a number of patients who show no obvious signs of injury. He goes to examine the first man he sees, and the man proclaims:


Fair fa' yer honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain e' the puddin' race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
painch tripe or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy o' a grace
as lang's my arm.


The Englishman, somewhat taken aback, goes to the next patient, and immediately the patient launches into:


Some hae meat, and canna eat,
And some wad eat that want it,
But we hae meat and we can eat,
And sae the Lord be thankit.


This continues with the next patient:


Wee sleekit cow'rin tim'rous beastie,
O what a panic's in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty,
wi' bickering brattle.
I wad be laith to run and chase thee,
wi' murdering prattle!"


"Well," the Englishman mutters to his Scottish colleague, "I see you saved the psychiatric ward for the last."

"Nay, nay," the Scottish doctor corrected him, "this is the Serious Burns unit."
 
Brilliant Purple...I nearly choked on my cornflakes when I got to the end
 
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